When You Smile
by ladyindaisy
Summary: Because in the end it's not important who you love, it's how you love them.


**(Guys, I'm really sorry for the fake alarm before. I don' t know how but I was trying to change something in one of the chapters and the next thing i know my story is gone. I'm so sorry. I lost your incredible reviews too. I collected all the chapters under one file and decided to post this as one-shot. I think it's better than nothing. I hope you enjoy this again.) **

**When You Smile**

Being new has both blessings and curses. If you have trouble with adaptation and change does nothing but scares you, then being new is definitely going to be a challenge for you. However, if you are one those easy spirits who can actually enjoy the change, then you'll be in the middle of a brand new playground where you can be whomever you want and do whatever you want.

Sebastian Smythe was a man of self-confidence who was flexible enough to adjust to new circumstance at a heartbeat. To him, adjusting wasn't something to settle for though. He must be the coolest, the smartest, the hottest and bla bla bla… He must have the best of everything because best was what suited him most.

So, when one Sebastian Smythe transferred to a new private school in the middle of a school year, he didn't have to struggle for attention by his new surroundings. He was easily accepted by his classmates and of course the teachers couldn't resist his dorky charm. Being a Warbler wasn't a hard task when he was gifted with an amazing voice and ability to dance.

Now, it was time to find the hottest guy to enjoy a night with. It seemed he would have no problem to do so, if what he heard about the former lead of the warblers was true. He was lucky to have a chance to verify those rumors when Blaine Anderson stepped inside the choir room in the middle of a rehearsal.

The first thing attracted Sebastian's attention was Blaine was short. But it was never a problem for Sebastian. Besides, Blaine compensated it with his well-built body, great ass and cute face and almost everyone in the warblers seemed to be attracted by him. Then, that was enough for Sebastian. He always got what the others wanted and having something that the others had eyes on always gave him the greatest satisfaction. So, his new mission was settled. Sebastian Symth would rock this Blaine Anderson's world as soon as possible.

After a very inviting song and dance rehearsal, Sebastian had a chance to speak with Blaine and introduce himself. It wasn't hard to persuade him to grab a coffee with the excuse of asking some advice from the former warbler. When they seated themselves at one of the tables at Lima Bean, Sebastian wasted no more time for his mission.

"Maybe we should practice some dance figures somewhere else. You know somewhere where we can be alone." He said chuckling when he saw the blushing on Blaine's face.

"You seemed good enough to manage by yourself."

"Even though I'm flattered by your finding me good 'enough'" he emphasized enough,

"I'm sure we can do better than enough together." He winked at Blaine and Blaine,again, blushed and looked away, but managed to speak soon.

"Look, I have a boyfriend and I don't want to screw things up with him."

Sebastian could see no problem with that, but he decided to be clearer with his intention.

"Well, I was thinking you'd do this part with me, you know screwing up thing?" _God! Should we get married to have orgasm?_

"No Sebastian! I have a relationship which isn't open for that kind of stuff and I have no intention of upsetting my boyfriend. He's really great."

_Ok, this wouldn't be as quicker as he thought, but anyway who could resist him so long? _He was thinking a verbal attack to Blaine's relationship when he saw a blue-eyed boy sitting next to Blaine.

"Who's really great?"

_Well, that must be you _Sebastian thought seeing Blaine's hand reaching for the boy's immediately. Sebastian looked at the boy for a while. He was really pale, like he used a lot of powder but that made his eyes more noticeable. They were oceanic blue and sparkling while looking at Blaine. But there was no way he was a better option than Sebastian. He would make sure Blaine realized that too.

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"You, of course." Blaine told immediately. Sebastian could see the nervousness in his eyes, but the other boy just seemed surprised. Blaine looked at Sebastian to introduce his seemingly boyfriend.

"This is my boyfriend, Kurt. Kurt this is Sebastian." When Blaine said nothing to identify the stranger except from his name, Sebastian decided to start the show.

"We met at Dalton; I'm kind of new here. I was dying to meet Blaine the magnificent and I'm happy he met the expectations". He saw Blaine got tense upon his words, but Kurt just smiled.

"Well, I'm glad the rumors you heard did justice to Blaine. He's even more impressive in the flesh." Now Blaine was smiling too and he put a soft kiss on Kurt's cheek. That was unexpected, but Sebastian was sure the boy was just playing nice. So all he had to do was to push him more.

"So, what are you two love birds doing tomorrow night?"

"Kurt has a family dinner every Friday night and I'll be working on my new duet with Rachel."

"Too bad, I was going to ask you if you were interested in joining me at Scandals." Sebastian saw the surprise in Blaine's eyes upon mentioning Scandals.

"Well, we can't. Friday night dinners matter a lot to Kurt." Sebastian realized the fondness in Kurt's eyes while listening to Blaine. He took Blaine's hand before speaking.

"Baby you should go if you want to. Just because I have an excuse doesn't mean you have to stuck with The Rachel Berry show, right?" Kurt smiled at Blaine and squeezed his hand to assure what he said.

"I don't think it'll be any fun without you."

"Here's a chance for you to test it. Come on, you want to go. I'll cover for you. You can come to my place and tell me how bored you were without me later."

Things were going really weird for Sebastian. He couldn't make any sense for Kurt's behaviors, but he was glad he would have Blaine all to himself tomorrow night.

"That's settled then. I'll pick you up at 8. Now, give me your number hot stuff." He winked at Blaine but Blaine looked away. He saw Kurt laugh and shake his head.

"I'll get some coffee. Do you want anything?" He asked both Blaine and Sebastian. They said no and Kurt left the table for coffee.

"Will you stop flirting with me near my boyfriend?" asked Blaine instantly.

"Does that mean I can flirt with you when he isn't near?" Sebastian teased but Blaine looked tense.

"Of course not."

"Relax! I'm just having fun and your boyfriend doesn't seem to mind at all."

"It's because he trusts me. A lot. And I've never seen him intimated by anyone, so don't push yourself."

_We'll see_ Sebastian thought. Kurt could fake cool boy here in Lima, Ohio but he didn't meet Sebastian Smythe. But for now, he decided to let it go. He would have a whole night to change that puppy-eyed handsome's mind.

"So, I'll be the driver which means you're free to drink."

"But be sure you have my address ok? There's no way drunk Blaine would remember it." Kurt was back with a coffee in his hand and a genuine smile on his mouth.

"I'm not that bad." Blaine pushed Kurt's shoulder a bit pretending to be offended by what Kurt said.

"Sure honey, you're the most harmless drunk one can ever see." teased Kurt, with the same fondness in his eyes.

Upon watching their little pathetic love parade, Sebastian decided to remind his presence.

"I promise I won't let Blaine dance with anyone, besides me" He said chuckling. "If that's all right for you Kurt?"

"Did you just ask my permission to dance with Blaine?" Kurt said laughing, Blaine was smiling too. _You're laughing too much for your own good_ Sebastian thought.

"No, not permission. I just wanted to make sure you know I would dance with your boyfriend all night and be ok with that?"

"Like you said, Blaine's my boyfriend, not my prisoner or something. He has every right to have fun and unlike you I don't think dancing with a friend could be something to not be ok with." said Kurt and smiled. Again. Funny thing, he wasn't faking those smiles. He was really smiling and Sebastian didn't like it at all.

"Anyway, I should be going. I'm already late for the practice. Glad to meet you Sebastian. "he said to Sebastian and then turned and placed a quick kiss on Blaine's lips.

"I'll call you when I'm done babe."

"Sure honey, don't push yourself too much."

When Kurt left, Sebastian couldn't help looking at Blaine questioning Kurt's sudden departure.

"He has a really hard cheerio practice. But he's the best and the couch wants to make the most of him." Blaine said. Sebastian could see the pride in his eyes. But he couldn't focus on that as he was trying to digest the fact that Kurt was a cheerleader! _Fair enough, I didn't expect him to play football regarding the pink sweater he was wearing, _he thought. _And being a cheerleader wasn't hot at all!_

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Before Sebastian picked up Blaine, he decided to gather some information about his relationship or the possible gaps in his relationship. He was sharing a room with Jeff and like everyone in the Warblers, he seemed to know every bit of Blaine.

"Do you know Blaine's boyfriend?" He asked directly. Nick was reading _Moll Flanders _for his literature class and seemed really bored. So when he heard Sebastian ask him something, he lifted his head from his book immediately.

"Yeah, of course. But he isn't just Blaine's boyfriend. He's a friend of mine too."

"Every friend of Blainey is a friend of yours, huh?" Sebastian was very well aware that these boys almost worshipped Blaine.

"No, it isn't like that. I met Kurt before they were together. He was at Dalton last year, but turned back to his old as he missed his friends and couldn't stand a 'fake Welton Academy'". Jeff laughed at the words which seemingly belonged to Kurt.

"So, this is the reason Blaine chose to be miserable in a public school? Kurt insisted him to transfer, right?" _Fucking relationships! He could do much better with a Blaine nearby._

"Actually, Kurt was the only one that rejected his decision to do so. He made Blaine promise like a hundred times that he wasn't doing it because of him."

"Huh?"

"Yeah. Kurt is really cool. He was my roomy before you." Sebastian realized the fondness in Jeff's voice when he bragged about Kurt.

"Looks like I came to replace Kurt in everything." He winked at Jeff who looked really puzzled. Sebastian took his jacket, phone and car keys and got out of the room, leaving a really confused Jeff behind him.

Sebastian was glad to see Blaine wasn't as tense as he was the other day. He was wearing dark blue pants that leave his ankles bare and Sebastian could like his white and seemingly tight shirt if it wasn't hidden under a hideous jumper.

Their drive to Scandals was nice. Blaine ended up being a lot more talkative than Sebastian assumed and he already thought about the prospects of a drunk Blaine.

Scandals wasn't even near a classy bar. It was a small and seedy, but safe at the same time. Safe it was because the possibility of being peeped by an ignorant, worthless piece of shit was really low.

Sebastian ordered two beers for them. They just sat, talked-of course Sebastian used his charming skills at flirt art- and drank two glasses of beer before Sebastian decided to take an action.

"Come on, time to move." He grabbed Blaine's wrist and dragged him to the dance floor. Blaine didn't seem complaining or something. Sebastian loved dancing and hell he was really good at it. He put his hands on Blaine's shoulders, the angle could be better if Blaine was a little bit taller, and began to shake his hips according to the music. Blaine wasn't bad himself but he was like thinking before moving. Sebastian leaned forward and whispered in his ear.

"I won't bite you Blaine, just relax and have fun."

Blaine didn't say anything back but he seemed calmer than before. They danced at least an hour before Blaine said he was thirsty. They turned back to the bar. This time Sebastian bought a long island ice tea for Blaine and water for himself. Blaine didn't question the glass Sebastian gave him, but he drank it really quickly.

"Woo, easy pretty boy! Don't mistake it for lemonade." He said to Blaine who seemed a little tipsy already.

"I like it. Can I get more?" he asked chuckling.

"Sure think, gorgeous." Sebastian got another glass for Blaine and sat really close to him before putting the glass in front of him. He could see Blaine shudder a bit but he didn't say anything, just took the glass and drank his beverage. Sebastian put his hand on the back of Blaine's chair and attempted some flirtatious conversation before Blaine stood up and said "Let's dance."

Well, Sebastian had thought drunk Blaine would be easier to dance with, but he was out of balance and trying to dance without any sense of rhythm. Sebastian pulled him closer and tried to lead but Blaine was chuckling and standing there making it really hard for Sebastian to move.

This wasn't the way Sebastian planned. He wanted Blaine to remember everything they would do together. But Blaine was having a short term memory loss right now. So Sebastian decided to call it a night and make plans for another night when he would never let him drink after two glasses.

He was lucky Blaine gave him Kurt's address before. He was getting angry because he had had no intention of babysitting when he took Blaine to Scandals. But now he was literally dragging Blaine to his car to get him to Kurt's place which was two hours away.

Blaine already dozed off when he found Kurt's house. He wasn't sure if he should just knock on the door or ring the bell but it was two in the morning. So he decided to call Kurt instead. He took Blaine's phone from his pocket. Blaine chuckled when he felt Sebastian's hand on him. Sebastian was surprise to find Kurt's number under his actual name, but not under something like sweetheart or honey.

"Babe?" Kurt sounded sleepy when he answered his phone.

"It's Sebastian. He-"

"Is he ok?" asked Kurt without letting Sebastian finish his sentence.

"Just drunk. Come and take him or I'll be pleased to do it for you." teased Sebastian.

"In a minute." Sebastian laughed at his seriousness but Kurt hung up without saying anything else.

Literally a minute later, Sebastian saw the door was open and Kurt was coming towards them in sweatpants. His hair was messy proving he just got out of the bed. Kurt went to the passenger seat directly and opened the door.

"Hey babe, time to wake up." he said patting Blaine's cheeks softly.

"Mmm, oneminute." Blaine mumbled without opening his eyes.

"I guess I tired him out a bit, he is quite a dancer I must say." Sebastian wouldn't let tonight end without getting any score.

"I'm glad you had fun." Kurt said, looking at Sebastian's eyes with a smile on his face. He then turned his attention to Blaine again.

"Come on Blaine, you can keep sleeping in two minutes." He then leaned closer and whispered in his ear. "In my bed." Sebastian realized those last words worked as Blaine now opened his eyes and smiled sheepishly.

"Kurt?"

"It's me baby, come on let me take you inside." Kurt tried to get Blaine out of the car but drunk Blaine was heavier.

"Would you mind, umm, helping me with this?" He asked Sebastian.

"With pleasure." Sebastian winked at him and got out of the car. They took Blaine by his both arms and made him stand outside the car. Kurt moved under his arm and pulled him closer. Sebastian saw Kurt grimace when the smell of alcohol hit his face.

"Thanks, I can handle the rest." Kurt said Sebastian.

"Too bad, he's sleeping, I can't have a goodnight kiss now." he said teasingly. But Kurt, of course, just smiled.

"Good night Sebastian."

Sebastian just looked at them blankly. Kurt's nonchalant attitude was starting to get under his skin and he hated that he wasn't taken seriously. _He is just acting; no one can be that indifferent to a potential threat to their relationship. And if Kurt doesn't consider him as a threat, then it's his problem. _

Sebastian improvised his mission right there at that moment. He would definitely make Kurt's smile disappear.

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After the night at Scandals, Sebastian didn't have any chances to do any good for his mission. He texted Blaine occasionally and Blaine answered back most of the time, but his answers were almost family friendly. He saw Blaine and-of course- Kurt at Lima Bean twice but apart from his two minutes' verbal attacks, he couldn't have a proper conversation with Blaine as they all were really busy with their school stuff.

On a Thursday afternoon, when Sebastian spotted 'the couple of the year' at Lima Bean, he decided it was time to take some action. He moved forward to them and sat one of the chairs at their table without asking.

"What do you say another Scandals night tomorrow?" he asked, looking at Blaine directly.

"Hello to you too Sebastian." Blaine said, surprise was clear in his voice. Kurt seemed uninterested, drinking his coffee and reading something from the papers on the table.

"Hey Blaine. How are things going? I hope you and your entire family are ok. Is that enough or should I ask about how your day was too?" Sebastian saw Kurt trying to restrain his smile, but he didn't lift his head from the papers. Sebastian took a look at the papers and saw that they were a kind of draft of a portfolio which-as it was obvious from the capital letters on the papers- were prepared for NYADA.

"You know confidence is a bad thing when it's based on nothing Kurt." He said. He had no idea about Kurt's voice but the opportunity to mock Kurt was too good to miss.

"I'll let you read my acceptance letter Sebastian." Kurt answered smiling, but there was a kind of serious determination in his eyes.

"It will be so much fun to see you cry over that non-acceptance letter." He said, but Kurt just shrugged and turned back to reading.

"So, Scandals? What do you say Blaine?"

"Why don't we do it on Saturday night so that Kurt can join too." He asked, trying to meet Kurt's eyes. Sebastian wanted to say no but _better than nothing _he thought.

"Sure." He said.

"Is it ok Kurt?" Blaine asked him. Kurt thought for a while.

"I may use some distraction I think." He approved. "I need more coffee. Do you want some?" he asked then standing from his chair.

"Coffee wouldn't do magic for your application." He teased Kurt who went to coffee bar without looking at him. Blaine waited until Kurt was completely gone.

"What's your problem with him?" he asked. "I'm surprised he said yes to Saturday night."

"Problem is mutual hotty. He hates me too which means no problem." Sebastian didn't notice Kurt had been back.

"Oh please Sebastian. Of course I don't hate you. You have to have some feelings to hate someone." Kurt sat his chair with his always-there smile on his mouth.

"I'll make sure you'll have those feelings." Sebastian smirked.

"Just stop it." Blaine looked nervous now. Kurt approved immediately and turned all his attention to him.

"So tell me which of these two I should choose for my audition?" he showed something on the paper. Sebastian realized Blaine stiffened at his chair and his smile looked really forced.

"I'm sure you'll nail them both." He didn't comment any further which Sebastian found very strange.

"I have exceeded my domestication limits by sitting here with you." He said looking at Kurt who didn't return his stare and then he turned to Blaine. "I can pick up you if you want."

"I'll go with Kurt." He said and reached for his hand. "I promise I'll be the driver this time."

"No need for that babe. We'll take the cab, neither of us should sacrifice the fun." Kurt said squeezing Blaine's hand as a response.

Sebastian moved away from them without saying anything else. He didn't like the idea of sharing a night with Kurt, but it could be an opportunity to cause a fight between them with his flirtatious moves to Blaine. At least he would make use of Kurt's presence for his own good.

Sebastian was surprised to see Blaine and Kurt were already there when went into Scandals. He greeted them-well he greeted Blaine with a kiss on his cheek and waved his slightly to Kurt.

"We started before you." Blaine the captain obvious said showing his beer glass.

Sebastian's eyes dropped when he saw Kurt holding a glass of scotch. To Sebastian, Kurt should be the last person to drink scotch. It was a drink for real men, not school boys in fancy outfits. He ordered vodka for himself. They chatted for a while. Indeed he talked to Blaine most of the time, ignoring Kurt easily. But ignoring part was mutual anyway.

After alcohol made connection to their blood, Sebastian grabbed Blaine's wrist.

"Let's dance." He said, but Blaine looked at Kurt insantly, pulling his hand back. But Kurt smiled at him.

"Go. I'll come when I finish." He said showing his half empty glass.

They moved to the dance floor together. To Sebastian's luck, he was familiar with the music which made him dance as if he had practiced it earlier. They were dancing for a while-better than the last time- when Kurt moved closer to them. Sebastian waited Kurt to push him aside to dance with Blaine. But Kurt just started dancing near them. He wasn't close enough to claim Blaine, but near enough to make eye contact. Blaine gave him a smile, but he didn't shift his position either.

Sebastian saw some other guys ogling Kurt shamelessly while Kurt was completely oblivious, just dancing and shaking his hips impressively. _No, not impressively, just shaking. _But Blaine wasn't as oblivious as Kurt. He pushed Sebastian back and moved closer to Kurt, putting his hand on his hips. Immediately Kurt placed his hands on his neck and pulled him closer.

Sebastian cursed under his breath when he saw Blaine kissing Kurt. Kurt looked surprised at first, but didn't wait to answer back for too long. Sebastian just stood there, ignoring the blond guy trying to make some moves to him and watched them. He was angry with Blaine for pushing him back and with Kurt for just being there. But if he had to admit, it was kind of _hot. Not because of Kurt of course. It had nothing to do with Kurt's tongue moving around Blaine's bottom lip. It was probably because of watching Blaine kissing 'someone'._

After a while, Sebastian saw Blaine breaking away from Kurt to look at his phone. _May god bless his willpower._ He said something to Kurt and headed to entrance of the bar. Kurt didn't follow, kept dancing by himself. Sebastian moved forward to Kurt to face him.

"I bet he's a good kisser." He said without missing his eyes. Kurt laughed at him. He was clearly a bit tipsy.

"You have no idea."

"Believe me; I'll have an idea soon." Sebastian said grinning. Upon this, Kurt smiled, leaned forward and whispered in his ear.

"I know you're attracted to Blaine. It's ok. But just stop trying to make me jealous. It's funny and not working. ." he pulled back, his eyes on Sebastian's. "You're kind of hot but Blaine is with me. Find someone else. Have sex. You'll be happy then."

Sebastian was literally frozen. Kurt smiled at him for the last time before heading to the entrance where Blaine got lost before.

Sebastian could just laugh at Kurt, tease him and push him back, but he was shocked by Kurt's boldness. _Just for a while of course. _And he wasn't definitely thinking about the fact that Kurt just called him hot. And he called him funny too. But again, he called him hot!

Of course he was hot. He knew it. And he wasn't even a little bit turned on by the bluntness of the statement.

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It wasn't the first time Sebastian couldn't figure out what the hell Kurt was trying to do, but it was the first time he admitted to be impressed by it. Kurt was about to show Sebastian that he wasn't even near the clingy, possessive boyfriend he had thought when he first met Kurt. The thing was Sebastian should have thought more about how to get into the pants of Blaine, not about Kurt's unusual behaviors.

Lima Bean was nearly empty that day. There was no Blaine around either. _No Kurt. _He was about to get into his car when he was startled by a familiar loud voice.

"Kurt! Please. I'm sorry. Talk to me please."

Sebastian moved behind his car, shifted himself in a position where he could see everything but not seen. When Kurt turned around to face Blaine, Sebastian-for the first time- saw a very sad and disappointed face of Kurt who almost all the time smiled. It was like he wasn't Kurt at all.

"You said you'd sent it." Kurt's voice was firm which was another strange thing regarding his usual soft and tender voice while talking to Blaine.

"I was going to…Kurt I'm sorry. Something came up and I was definitely going to send it later. So I told I'd sent. But then i…forgot."

"How could you?" Disappointment was so tangible in his voice that you could almost touch it.

"I gave it to you a damn week ago. I trusted you with the most important thing in my life. How could you fucking forget it?"

So he swore. That was also new. Sebastian saw Blaine trying to reach for Kurt's hand, but Kurt pulled back immediately.

"I'll send it today. I'll fly to New York if necessary. But please! Don't look at me like that."

"You can't! Blaine, are you kidding me? Deadline was today and you knew it! I told you at least five times this week." Kurt took his head between his hands, obviously trying to relieve his headache.

"Kurt, I swear, I completely for-"

"Forgot? Right! You were too busy to remember one and only thing I wanted from you."

"I don't know what to say. I'm so so sorry Kurt. I'll do anything. But please, I'm really sorry."

"Stop telling me you're sorry. It won't change any fucking thing."

"But everything happens for a reason." Blaine's voice so low that Sebastian had to figure half of the words by himself.

"What?"

"You know it .., yes I'm terribly sorry but right now what's done is done. Maybe it's a sign that we should go to New York next year. Together. " If a look could kill someone, Blaine Anderson would be so dead right now.

"You just didn't say that. Blaine! What the hell are you talking about?"

"Don't tell me long distance would be a good thing for us Kurt. At least this's better than to lose us, isn't it?"

"I can't even…Blaine have you been drinking or what? How could you say that?"

"Just think about it Kurt. Half of the glass is still full."

"You screwed up my dream for NYADA! You, of all people, screwed up my biggest dream and now you're playing Pollyanna to me? Just shut up already, ok? I want to be alone. Don't come after me. I mean it!"

"Kurt, please! We can talk. We'll get through this. I'm so-"

"Don't! I don't even believe you're sorry. Just leave me alone."

Sebastian watched Kurt getting into his car without looking at Blaine for once. Blaine stood there for a while. Sebastian could see the tears on his face.

For a tiny moment, Sebastian thought about showing up and asking what the hell happened, but then decided he didn't want to console anyone, especially someone with whom he was trying to sleep, not become friends. So he got into his car and pretended not to see Blaine at all, but Blaine wasn't in a condition to notice anyway.

Three days after from the outburst at parking lot, Sebastian heard Wes talking about an operation to cheer up Blaine at their weekly Warbler practice. Almost everyone was dropping ideas about how to relieve their beloved Blaine's post break up stress.

"They think Blaine is the only one in a mess." Sebastian recognized Jeff's voice behind himself.

"And it's quite ironic when you think Blaine is the reason for the break-up."

Sebastian couldn't help his curiosity. In the end, it was about Blaine too, right?

"What do you two know?" he asked them.

"Haven't you heard already? Kurt and Blaine broke up two days ago. Blaine's a mess so they're trying to cheer him up." Jeff answered.

"But you said, Blaine was the reason? If he asked to break up, why is he a mess?"

"Well, technically it was Kurt who uttered the word break-up. But Blaine told him they should practice the long distance thing, if Kurt would still go to New York." As soon as Jeff completed his sentence, Nick went on.

"Obviously, Blaine didn't think Kurt would choose New York."

"Why should he choose between Blaine and New York? I mean, it's just New York, not Sebastian Smythe." He teased.

"See, this is the problem. Blaine thinks they can't handle long distance relationship while Kurt believes, I mean believed, they could manage. But Kurt always trusted Blaine as much as he believed himself." told Jeff. Sebastian didn't miss the fondness in his voice while talking about Kurt.

"So you say, the trust wasn't mutual?"

"I can't say Blaine doesn't trust himself or Kurt at all, but clearly his trust wasn't enough to survive eight months apart."

_That's why I don' do relationships, _Sebastian thought. _There are always promises that cannot be kept, expectations that cannot be met, and disappointment that cannot be avoided. Why does a person choose to hurt himself like that? I'd never understand this. _Or he thought so!

Sebastian immediately noticed Kurt who was sitting at a partly secluded corner of Lima Bean when he dropped by to satisfy his caffeine need. He was writing something while taping his coffee with his fingers and biting his lips nervously. If break-up had such a power to make one person that down, then it was almost worse than terrorism. Kurt was nothing as he was before. Even his aura was different. Not that Sebastian believed in that kind of stuff. But there was something big missing in the way he was.

He moved closer to Kurt's table without even realizing.

"I almost didn't recognize you without Blaine." _Why did I say that? _He had no idea why he did it. But he didn't know any other way to start a conversation with Kurt. Kurt lifted his head to look at Sebastian.

"Go away." He said. Sebastian still waited for his usual smile to appear on his mouth, but it didn't.

"Please!" Kurt insisted. His voice was so low, _so broken. _

"Don't be so grumpy Kurt. Now you don't have to hide your letter of refusal from me." _What is wrong with me?_ Sebastian realized the inappropriateness of his word as soon as they left his mouth.

He opened his mouth to apologize, but couldn't utter a word when he saw tears falling from Kurt's eyes. There was no sobbing, no shouting, no shuddering. Nothing. They were falling from Kurt's oceanic blue eyes silently.

"Kurt…" He could only say. Even he was surprised by the softness of his voice. If he had thought seeing Kurt cry would give him pleasure before, he'd been so fucking wrong.

Sebastian hadn't seen anything that was so sad, so hurt, _oh god, _so achingly beautiful.

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"I'm sor-" Sebastian was interrupted by Kurt's hand up in the air.

"Don't! Just go. Please." Kurt said wiping his tears away.

"I was just going to say I'm sorry." Kurt' s eyes were widened upon this.

"Maybe I don't want to hear anyone telling they're sorry"

"Well, that could be the time of your life though, you know hearing me sayig I'm sorry." Sebastian was secretly wishing Kurt would just ignore his dumbassary and give him his usual smile But he didn't. As soon as he looked away from Sebastian to somewhere else, he got panicked and started packing his stuff on the table.

"Ok, I'll go. You stay." He said to Kurt. But Kurt didn't respond.

"Kurt?"

"What?" Kurt snapped. Sebastian could see he was running out of patience.

"I'll leave. You don't have to go. You were here first." He said trying to keep his voice as soft as possible.

"It's not you. I'll go anyway. He said in a low voice. Then, Sebastian saw Blaine entering Lima Bean from the front door. Kurt headed to back door, probably trying to avoid Blaine. Sebastian looked at Blaine for just one second before following Kurt. He didn't think anything. He didn't make a choice or something. He just needed to follow Kurt.

Kurt was about to get into his car when Sebastian called him.

"What now?" he asked. There wasn't anger in his voice though.

"Are you ok?" Sebastian really needed to think before speaking. Why the hell was he asking Kurt if he was ok and obviously he wasn't the only one to question this. He could see a slight surprise in Kurt's eyes.

"You know the answer." He said with an unreadable expression on his face.

"Yeah, I got the message when you didn't show your thirty two teeth for once." He said trying to soften the atmosphere.

"Then why did you ask?" Why did he ask indeed? _It's not I care _he thought. _I'm just curious, that's all. _When Sebastian didn't respond, Kurt got into his car.

"You're free to go after him if this is what you want to know." Kurt said. He must have died inside to say that regarding the look in his eyes.

"It's not..But thanks..i guess." He mumbled and didn't move until Kurt disappeared from his sight.

When he entered Lima Bean again, he saw Blaine sitting at the same table Kurt was sitting moments ago.

"Hey." He said. Blaine, surprisingly, smiled when he saw him.

"Hey yourself." Sebastian didn't say anything else for a while before Blaine broke the silence.

"I know that you know."

"Well, I'm a Warbler and you're the tt of this week." Sebastian, for the first time, didn't feel like hitting on Blaine.

"Why?" he asked at last. "You looked, I don't know, happy with him."

"I was." Blaine admitted. "But I can't do this. I can't live my life here knowing Kurt is out there surrounded by people I don't even know, enjoying himself without me." He said without breathing.

"I thought that was your thing though." Sebastian said. "I remember Kurt saying you should have fun even he wasn't there with you."

Blaine smiled sadly upon this.

"Well, that's Kurt. I'm not like him. I tried to be, but I couldn't. He trusted me you know. He always made that clear. I trusted him too but I could never trust myself as much as he could.

Sebastian could understand that. If he was sure of one thing about Kurt, that was he really had a huge trust in himself.

"Did you really forget or…?" Sebastian didn't complete his question on purpose, because regarding the nervousness in Blaine's eyes, he knew what he was talking about.

"I did…I don't want to answer that." He said looking away from Sebastian.

"Ok. Isn't it at least better to have him in your life than not having at all?" Sebastian asked. Inasmuch it was none of his business, he really couldn't make any sense with Blaine's reasons.

"It's complicated." Blaine sighed deeply. "If I didn't know how it felt to be with him completely, then I would, at least, try. But now, I can't stand being away from him while missing him every day.

"Won't you miss him anyway?" The sadness in Blaine's eyes was too clear to miss.

"Yes." He said. "That's why I've started practicing it."

To Sebastian, this was just nonsense. If you made a mistake and loved someone in the end, then you just had to stick to him no matter what. You had to try everything before giving up so that the risk you took from the start would worth it. What on earth could Blaine choose to lose him like that?

"I'm surprised." Blaine said suddenly.

"Because?"

"Because you really listened to me and never tried to flirt."

He was right. Blaine was in a perfect condition to be seduced. Sebastian could expertly use his emotion breakdown, but just didn't feel like. The image of Kurt crying was still in his mind and somehow made him numb.

"Sebastian, that wasn't an insult." Blaine said reminding his presence to Sebastian who seemed lost in his thoughts.

"Well, I can be nice." He said.

"So I witnessed." Blaine answered smiling.

"Don't get used it. I'm still Sebastian." He teased before standing and taking his phone from the table.

"Anyway, I got to go. Well, what am I supposed to say? Recover soon?" he laughed.

"I hope so." answered Blaine joining Sebastian's laughter.

Sebastian didn't think much until he went into his room at that night. Jeff was on the phone when entered.

"I know. I also want you to know that." He said to his phone, smiling at something probably the person on the phone said. "Just promise me to call me whenever you need a sane company." He smiled again. "Never a problem Kurt." He said before hanging up.

Now the stranger on the phone happened to be Kurt about whom Sebastian tried hard not to think. Jeff put his phone on his desk and went out of the room before greeting Sebastian with a smile. Sebastian didn't think about the reason for why he took Kurt's number from Jeff's phone as soon as he left the room. But at least, he admitted that he wanted Kurt to be ok. He wanted to see him smile.

If he was to be honest, Sebastian thought what Blaine did was really selfish. And the possibility of Blaine's lying about forgetting was much worse. He knew inside it wasn't just a possibility, but the truth in fact.

"**When you think, NYADA doesn't even have a good campus." **He hit the send button before giving it a second thought. He noticed he hadn't written his name. But somehow he knew Kurt would understand. Half an hour passed until Sebastian got one new message.

"**They could compensate it with having me tough." **That was such a Kurt answer and Sebastian didn't even realize he was grinning like an idiot.

"**Well, their loss."**

"**Good night, Sebastian."**

"**Night, Kurt."**

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When Sebastian saw Kurt taking his coffee from the blonde barista, he noticed a tiny smile-to-be on his face. It wasn't like his usual, but could be counted as progress. He waved his hand to Kurt who also noticed him and sat at one of the chairs next to him without saying anything.

"You look better." He said to Kurt who was sipping his coffee silently.

"Of course I do." Kurt forced a smile but failed to do so.

They sat there for at least half an hour, talking about nothing, just drinking coffee. The strange thing was the silence wasn't uncomfortable for Sebastian who had a tendency to get bored in those kinds of situations.

"What hurts most?" he asked finally. Kurt looked at him for a while. He obviously got what he meant.

"I don't know." He said softly. "I really don't know. It hurts so much that I cannot even decide whether it is because of my unreturned trust or shattered dream. It just hurts." Kurt looked as if he didn't even believe what he just confessed to Sebastian. But soon, he shrugged and shook his head. Sebastian knew he should have said something, but he wasn't capable of finding the appropriate thing to say when needed.

"Dreams can be replaceable, you know." He said at last.

"Well, that's something I'll have to learn soon." Kurt answered. "I got to go. I have practice." He said then, standing from his chair.

Sebastian didn't know how it could feel to lose your boyfriend over something that was worse than the break up itself. He could totally understand how Kurt felt about having to let his dream go. Because, to him, dreams were what made you who you were. Sebastian could be insensitive, unaffectionate or unpleasantly realistic sometimes but he was also a dreamer who did more than his best to make them real. But what he couldn't imagine was losing your dream because of someone with whom you wished to share every bit of that dream.

Sebastian was aware that he had no intention of having Blaine anymore. Normally he didn't mind the personality of the person that he would sleep with, but he knew inside that it was more about Kurt than Blaine now. He remembered the night when he'd improvised his mission to make Kurt's smile disappear. Funny thing was all he wanted to see was Kurt's genuine smile right now and sleeping with Blaine would definitely not bring that amazing, _no, not amazing, _smile back.

So this was how Sebastian found himself texting Kurt almost every day about nothing in particular.

Sebastian was bored in his literature class on Monday morning, that's why he texted Kurt.

"_You have a different sense of fashion. S." _

"**I have a great sense of fashion! K."**

"_Delusions, delusions. You seem to enjoy it though?"_

"**Have you met me? I don't enjoy fashion. I live for it."**

"_Singing isn't your only passion then?" _

"**Oh! I know what that is."**

"And what is 'that'?"

"**I've already applied to Parsons for fashion design. But Sebastian?"**

"Yeah?"

"**Thank you."**

Well, there was nothing Sebastian didn't know about the capitals of European countries, so he just made use of his time by texting Kurt.

"_Colin Farrell is so overrated."_

"**And you are so jealous."**

"_Please! Haven't you seen 'Friday Night'?"_

"**Of course! But clearly you haven't seen him in that dirty, white undershirt."**

"_Ok, it isn't your fault to have a bad taste in men."_

"**I like it when you contradict with yourself."**

"_How so?"_

"**Won't say."**

"_You'll?"_

"**Nope."**

"_Kurt?"_

_Kuuurt?"_

"_You are an ass."_

"**A fabulous one."**

It wasn't Sebastian's fault that he didn't have any homework to do or Warbler practice to attend that evening. And it wasn't that he cared if Kurt knew he had no intention of getting into the pants of Blaine.

"_You know I'm not going after him?"_

"**None of my business."**

"_Didn't say it is."_

"**Ok."**

Well, it was a Friday night. Almost everyone went to their home for the weekend and as Sebastian couldn't possibly go to France for the weekend, he ended up staying at Dalton. He didn't feel like going out. He didn't feel like doing homework. He didn't feel like being the third wheel when Jeff asked him to watch a movie with him and Nick. So he should have done something to pass time, right?

"_what you doing?"_

"**Enjoying a movie with two delicious men."**

"_You have two delicious men with you and the only thing you enjoy is a movie? Such a loss."_

"**Don't worry. I'm definitely enjoying them too."**

"_Do I know them?"_

"**It's possible."**

"_I need names."_

"**Uhmm."**

"**Ben and Jerry."**

"**Do you know them?"**

"_Fuck you."_

"**Not interested: )"**

As it was always Sebastian who initiated texting, he was a little surprised to see a message from Kurt on Sunday morning.

"**Sebastian?"**

"_Yeah?"_

"**Why are you talking with me?"**

"_Because I can talk."_

"**Sebastian."**

"_I get bored at school. You provide distraction."_

"**You text me at nights too."**

"_I can get bored at nights too."_

"**So I entertain you?"**

"_Never say you do."_

"**Right. My sense of humor is too elegant for you."**

Ok. Sebastian had homework to do. He had to be at Warbler practice too and he had plans for the evening. But this time he didn't feel like finding an excuse to text Kurt. He wanted to. So that was enough.

"_So, corvette or mustang? What do you think?"_ 11:00pm

"_I should have guessed you have no idea about cars. Yes Kurt. They are cars, not fashion magazines." _11:30pm

"_It is ok Kurt. I won't tease you."_ 14:28pm

"_That was a lie. Of course I'll tease you."_ 15:15pm

"_Kurt?"_ 18:03pm

"_Are you ok?"_ "18:30pm

"_If you don't answer in five, I'll have to call you and hear your annoying voice. So please save me from the torture and answer."_ 18:45pm

"_Damn it Kurt! Why is your phone off?"_ 18:58pm

There was no reason for Sebastian to worry. Just because they texted with each other almost every day didn't mean Sebastian had to know everything going on with Kurt. But he was worried. _Not worried, just curious. _Because Kurt never left his texts unreturned and now his phone was off. Sebastian decided to cancel his meeting with the guy whose name he didn't remember since he saved it as _hot piece_ and joined Jeff and Nick to kill something.

Sebastian just got into his bed when his phone buzzed and he really didn't drop all of the books from his desk while grabbing his phone.

"**Sorry for today. I'm ok. I was just busy with something. Good night."**

"_What's wrong?"_

"**Nothing."**

"_Just tell me."_

"_Please."_

"**It's nothing really. Just..Blaine came over to talk."**

"_And?"_

"**And, nothing."**

"_Ok."_

"**He accused me of leaving him in the lurch and told me I chose New York to be free."**

"_He's a fucking idiot. You shouldn't have listened to him."_

"**Why not?"**

"_Because he doesn't deserve it. "_

"_He doesn't deserve you."_

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Two days after his last text, Sebastian didn't hear from Kurt. He meant what he'd written in that message, but he wasn't sure if Kurt believed him. To Sebastian, Blaine didn't really deserve Kurt. He wasn't saying Blaine was the bad guy, but he wasn't right for Kurt. Not that Sebastian was an expert at relationships and yes he did try to steal his boyfriend for just one night and mocked him occasionally, but it was only because he labeled Kurt as competition the moment they met. Even he could see Kurt was a nice person. He did nothing but smile at Sebastian's open flirtatious moves towards Blaine and he even gave Sebastian some advice on how to be happy; _Have sex._

At some point, Sebastian would have to think. There were a lot questions that started with "why". Apart from his family, he didn't bother to have affectionate feelings for the people around him. He was good at socializing of course, but it was just a requirement of living in a society. Friends were just for hanging around and passing time. As for relationships, he never needed to be in one. He loved sex. That was what he wanted and there were always people who enjoyed sex without thinking what the hell it meant. It was just sex and the only thing that could be shared with was a mind-blowing orgasm.

Sebastian was aware that the more intimacy you had with people, the more complicated things got as intimacy would surely bring expectations which Sebastian didn't want to bother to meet at all.

That's why he didn't show curiosity for his friends' lives. He didn't want to know. Knowing would make you responsible and Sebastian could only handle being responsible for himself.

Because of all this, because of who Sebastian was, he had no idea why the hell he wanted to know if Kurt was ok, why he desperately wanted to see him smile, why he felt some stupid tingles every time he got a text from Kurt, why he frowned immediately when he sensed something was wrong with Kurt, why he wanted to know everything about him or simply why he cared at all.

But for the time being, Sebastian just decided to ignore those questions. He wouldn't get a real answer soon and he had no intention of complicating his life. _Maybe I feel guilty _he thought. It was an answer anyway and he didn't need to know more.

So when he texted Kurt if he wanted to drink coffee together, he persuaded himself it was only because he was feeling guilty about Kurt's current situation. Anyone could tell he had nothing to do with Kurt's breakdown, but he chose to ignore that. When Kurt answered approving, Sebastian had already forgotten his early inner monologue.

Sebastian saw Kurt had already seated himself at one of the tables on which two cups of coffee stood. Sebastian was kind of happy to see that Kurt didn't give up his fashion-centered outfits because of what happened.

"Hey" Sebastian greeted him while sitting at the chair right across Kurt. "Am I late?"

"No. I came early." Kurt said. "I don't know how you drink your coffee, but I guessed it may be black with no sugar?" Kurt asked putting one of the cups in front of Sebastian.

"Oh you definitely knew my coffee order, didn't you?" He winked at Kurt before taking the cup.

"No, I'm just good at reading people." He said confidently.

"Come on! How could you possibly read my coffee order? Admit it, I won't call you stalker." He laughed but Kurt just shrugged.

"You don't look like a person who enjoys his coffee; you are more like you need coffee. For energy. Simple as that. So, you take your coffee in its purest form." Kurt finished his sentence and Sebastian tried to hide his surprise and managed to tease instead.

"And you think I don't use sugar because I'm too sweet myself?"

Kurt took a sip from his coffee before looking at Sebastian who looked highly amused.

"You don't use sugar, because you don't want anything to mingle with your need. You need caffeine and you take it. If you need something sweet, you probably drink, I don't know, hot chocolate. You just get what you need. That's all." Kurt was looking at a very surprised- and if he had to admit- impressed Sebastian.

"Nah, it was just a lucky guess." Sebastian said in a very unconvincing voice, but Kurt didn't comment any further.

"But thank you." Sebastian said "For the coffee, I mean."

"No problem." Kurt answered.

They talked about show choirs; Kurt's being a cheerleader, Sebastian's adventures in France and surprisingly cars. Sebastian just had to learn not to surprise anything about Kurt as it happened almost every time he saw him.

"What are you doing after school?" Kurt asked suddenly. Sebastian was puzzled because he didn't expect Kurt to talk about post-graduation stuff. But again when did Kurt do something Sebastian expected him to do?

"I'm going to NYU to study law." He answered not looking at Kurt's eyes.

"Oh! When did you get in? Isn't it too soon even for early acceptance?"

"Well, I haven't yet. But I'll definitely."

"How can you be so sure?" Kurt asked, confusion was clear in his voice.

"I'm sure because that's what I want." Sebastian saw the sad smile on Kurt's face.

"Believe me, sometimes wanting isn't enough." He said softly. Sebastian resisted the urge-he had no idea where it came from- to take Kurt's hand in his. But he couldn't say anything to comfort him either. He was sure he really looked stressful right now.

"Hey, it's ok." Kurt said trying to smile, but ended up pressing his lips.

Before Sebastian had a chance to say anything, a short brunette approached their table looking at Kurt with an affectionate smile.

"Rachel?" Kurt exclaimed. "Aren't you supposed to be at Glee club?" he asked."

"I was there, but something important came up." She almost whispered. Kurt looked at her questioning but Rachel turned her attention to Sebastian.

"Hey, are you Kurt's friend? I'm Rachel." She said thrusting her hand to him. Sebastian didn't answer- well it was more accurate to say he couldn't-. He just looked at Kurt while shaking Rachel's hand and saying his name.

"He's almost there." Kurt answered looking at directly Sebastian who couldn't help smiling upon this.

"Oh, aren't you lucky?" he teased, but Kurt was looking at Rachel again, with the same questioning look on his face. And Rachel looked, somehow, anxious. She sat at the chair next to Kurt, took an envelope from her bag and put it on the table.

Sebastian saw Kurt sighing deeply.

"Oh." He could say. "You got your letter."

"Yeah." Rachel answered.

"And?"

"I'm a finalist." She literally whispered this time, her eyes were on the table, never meeting Kurt's while talking. If there could be beauty in misery, Kurt's heartbreaking smile would definitely be an example of that. He saw Kurt reaching for Rachel's hand.

"That is…great Rachel. I already knew you'd be." He said and upon this Rachel wrapped her arms around Kurt pulling him to a tight hug.

"Oh god! Kurt I feel terrible! This was our dream and I don't even want to go without you! I'm so sorry, I really can wait you know-"

"Rachel!" Kurt pushed her a little to cup her face and look at her eyes.

"Just relax, ok? You have no idea how proud I'm right now. Of course you'll go. No! We'll go. To New York. Maybe not same collage but we'll definitely go there together, ok?"

Rachel hugged Kurt tighter than before-it that was possible- this time. When she finally released herself, she was smiling.

"I love you so much!" She said to Kurt. Sebastian saw the blush on Kurt's face but he was smiling too.

"I love you too honey." He answered to Rachel and then turned to Sebastian. "Sorry about this" he said looking a little embrassed.

"Well, I don't see an emotional outburst every day." He said looking at Rachel amusedly. "It was fun."

Rachel gave him a weak smile, she clearly didn't get what he said was good or not. She turned to Kurt again, looking as if she was trying to say another thing but closing her mouth every time she tried.

"What is it?" Kurt asked, noticing Rachel's struggle.

"Uhmm." She mumbled at first. "My dads won't be home this weekend and I thought-"

"Oh no you didn't Rachel!" Kurt interrupted her.

"But it'll be fun this time Kurt. I promise. Please! Tell me you'll come!"

Sebastian was confused and realized that Kurt stiffened at his chair.

"What are you talking about?" he asked then. They both turned to him. Sebastian saw Rachel beam suddenly.

"Oh, right! I'm giving a party on Saturday night. Do you want to come? You should come."

Rachel, then, took Kurt's hand and opened his mouth to insist Kurt but stopped when she saw his face.

"Oh, Kurt! No, no,no. He won't be there. Of course he won't. You're my best friend do you think I can forgive him that easily?" She said without breathing.

Now, Sebastian could figure out the reason for sudden nervousness on Kurt's face. Blaine! _Right._

_ "_Ok." Kurt said finally and Rachel gave him another hug. This time Kurt pushed her a little chuckling. "Will you come?" he then asked to Sebastian.

"I don't know. Should I?" he answered. Normally he never said no to parties but he wasn't sure what to expect from this one.

"Well, you're invited. You can come if you want." Kurt said to him. And somehow Sebastian found himself saying;

"Do you want me to come?" he looked at Kurt directly who looked as surprised as Sebastian himself by that question. Kurt looked away for a while before answering.

"I can't promise fun. But there'll be alcohol." He said at last. And Sebastian knew this was Kurt's way of saying _Yeah, I want you to come_. So, of course, his answer was;

"You had me at alcohol."

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It was like some kind of a joke indeed. Kurt Hummel whose boyfriend Sebastian tried to steal became his friend. Well, he was almost there! But if he was to be honest, Kurt was fun to be friend with. Since the day they met at Lima Bean, Sebastian had been impressed by his quick wit and nonchalant attitude.

So maybe, just maybe, this party wouldn't end up being a total disaster even if he wouldn't be at some hot guy's bed at the end of the night.

Kurt offered to pick up him from Lima Bean for the party. Since Sebastian didn't know the address, he said yes. When he saw Kurt hadn't arrived yet, he decided to have some coffee and Kurt found that moment to enter Lima Bean. This was the first time Sebastian saw him without too many layers. Kurt was wearing the tightest black ripped jeans and a grey v-neck shirt which was showing his broad shoulders and slender waist. _Wait Kurt had a really long neck._ Well, who knew Kurt Hummel was hiding a pretty _nice _body under those layers. Sebastian wondered if there would be any time he wouldn't be surprised by Kurt in any way. He shook his head to erase some unpleasantly pleasant images from his mind and turned to take their coffee from the barista who was looking at him impatiently.

When he extended the coffee cup to Kurt, he beamed at Sebastian immediately.

"Exactly what I need right now!" he exclaimed without greeting Sebastian first. "Thanks." His voice was close to his usual energetic self though there wasn't the same liveliness. Sebastian was surprised to notice these things, but again, he decided to ignore. Instead he teased.

"I'm the best I know." He laughed at Kurt who pushed his shoulder softly.

"Oh Sebastian there are some things you can't manage even with coffee." Kurt teased him back.

The drive to Rachel's house was spent on listening to Kurt talking about every Glee Club member, warning him about some guy called Puck making him promise to try being nice. Sebastian realized the affection in Kurt's voice while talking about them. Kurt even called them as his second family once. It was so unfamiliar to Sebastian who thought it was impossible to be connected to someone as close as you could call family. So he just listened to Kurt and made inappropriate jokes about Kurt's blushing while talking about his stupid crush on his step-brother.

When they got out of the car in front of Rachel's house, the door was opened instantly and one Rachel Berry was running towards them.

"You made it!" She said to Kurt giving him her usual tight hug. "I'm so glad you came."

"I said I'd come honey." Kurt said to her while looking at Sebastian amusedly. Rachel, then, turned to Sebastian too.

"I'm glad you came too." She said to him smiling.

"I hope to be glad at the end of the night too." Sebastian said smirking at her.

The moment they went downstairs where the party was going to take place, they were gathered around by a bunch of people who were talking at the same time.

"Ok, people. One by one." Kurt hushed them and then turned to Sebastian.

"This is Sebastian, he is ..uhmm, my friend , yeah." He said smiling at Sebastian. "Sebastian, these crazy people are New Directions; Finn, my stepbrother also, Sam, Tina, Mercedes, Mike, Brittany and Santana." When Kurt finished telling the names of everyone in the room, Puck pushed Sebastian's shoulder to mean "hi". Santana literally ogled him and let out a cat whistle. Tina smiled at him and managed to say "Glad to meet you"

"You always find hot dolphins." The blonde girl, Brittany, said chuckling. Sebastian looked at Kurt to get what she meant, but Kurt mouthed a _tell you later _and laughed.

Sebastian may have been a little impressed by the warm welcome. The Warblers were fun too, but they could also be distant. Two hours passed and Sebastian didn't even realize he mingled with the New Directions, drinking some cocktail Puck claimed to discover, joining every conversation and laughing at some really stupid jokes. He looked at Kurt who was a lot more like himself among his friends. Maybe alcohol eased him a little but he was laughing more and Sebastian couldn't help smiling every time he heard Kurt laughing.

Another two hours were spent on dancing and singing along with incredibly fast and silly songs. Rachel even attempted to make a duet with Finn, but he was already captivated by the alcohol.

Uncountable numerous glasses of cocktail later-well, Puck was good at mixing things- Rachel demanded to play "truth or dare". _Oh, seriously _Sebastian thought rolling his eyes, but he didn't say anything as they were really nice to him since the beginning of the night.

Sebastian was surprised to realize he was actually having fun while listening to embarrassing truth moments of the New Directions like how Finn believed his girlfriend was pregnant when the only thing they did was making out or why Kurt didn't drink more than two glasses of alcohol; the bambi incident they called it. The game was enriched with Rachel's hilarious attempt to give Finn a lap dance and Sebastian's eyes literally dropped when he saw Santana sucking Brittany's neck upon Sam' daring her to give Brit a huge hickey.

When the bottle finally stopped in front of Sebastian, he didn't hesitate to say dare as he wasn't into revealing about himself. He saw a devilish grin on Puck's face when he heard Sebastian's answer.

"Ok, I want to see some gay kissing." Puck said looking at Kurt naughtily. Sebastian heard Finn saying "Dude, not cool" or something, but Puck just shrugged and looked at Sebastian again.

"I dare you to kiss Kurt for half a minute." He said. Well Sebastian wasn't expecting this and his stomach shouldn't have tightened at all as he was a master at kissing. When he didn't say anything, he saw Kurt getting closer to him with a shy smile on his face. Kurt sat cross-legged right across Sebastian whose knees touching his.

"Okaaay." Kurt said sighing deeply. Sebastian could tell he was trying to make this less awkward. Neither of them moved for a while, just sat there and stared at each other with wide eyes. Sebastian could do no nothing but admit to be impressed by the intensity of the oceanic blue eyes. He never felt nervous about physical "closeness" but at that moment he felt like he had no control over his thinking. He saw Kurt close his eyes and lean forward to him. He lowered his lips and brushed them against Sebastian's lightly. And then he stopped, pulled himself back only an inch. Sebastian could still feel his warm breath against his skin. Suddenly the heat between them was too overwhelming so there was no way Sebastian could stop himself from pressing his lips against Kurt's impossiblly soft lips. The moment he felt them, his eyes dropped immediately which was weird as Sebastian didn't normally close his eyes while kissing since he preferred to watch the change on the face of the person he was kissing. But this was…well, something else.

When their lips pressed together, Kurt let out a soft sigh which made Sebastian lean into him more as Kurt's lips 's hands made their way to Kurt's waist to pull him closer and his tongue slided along Kurt's bottom lip in return of which he pleasantly met with Kurt's. He could taste the strawberry cocktail on Kurt's tongue and it was delicious, _Kurt was so delicious. _Sebastian licked his mouth as deep as possible as a result of which he earned a really hot moan from Kurt. Sebastian pressed his fingers tighter against Kurt's waist. He could feel his smooth skin under that thin grey shirt. There was no struggle for dominance. They were just exchanging tongues, sucking each other's lips and Sebastian wasn't ashamed to let out a very loud when Kurt pulled him closer and tugged his hair. Sebastian was literally being consumed by the hottest kiss of his life. He was sure they exceeded that silly half a minute way far but who cared? Stopping now was the last thing he wanted, but, unfortunately Kurt didn't think the same.

When they heard the cat whistles from..-he didn't remember what the hell their names were now- , Sebastian felt Kurt pulling away from him. Sebastian whined for the loss of those amazing lips immediately, pressing his fingers on Kurt's back tightly. They were breathing heavily when Puck said;  
"I said kiss man! Not make out." Sebastian saw Puck smiling sheepishly. "Pray it was hot though!"

Sebastian looked at Kurt who was still sitting really close to him and the moment he saw Kurt smiling he gave up breathing at the very moment. _Shit! _Kurt was really smiling for the first time since the breakup and looking at Sebastian with his fucking _beautiful _blue eyes. So there was no way Sebastian could stop smiling like an idiot.

They looked away from each other when Rachel cleared her throat and said;  
"We still have a game to play guys, now Kurt if you,uhmm.., move your place…"

Sebastian realized he was still holding Kurt tightly and let him go unwillingly. Kurt gave him another "Kurt" smile before he seated himself at his previous spot.

The rest of the game passed vaguely for Sebastian as all he tried to do was to stop himself from staring at Kurt. It was ridiculous. A kiss shouldn't have been that overwhelming and a stupid smile shouldn't have made him numb. And the fact that he put that smile on Kurt's mouth did nothing but throw a party for the butterflies residing in his stomach.

Finally they all decided to call it a night and started to pass out wherever they found available. They were all drunk or tipsy at least and Rachel made it very clear that she wouldn't let anyone drive a car. Sebastian was looking around to find an appropriate place to crash on when he saw Rachel talking to Kurt while waving her hand to call Sebastian.

"There are two couches in the living room upstairs; you can crash on one of them. Kurt's sleeping on the other one so you won't be alone." Rachel said to him once he finally moved near them. Sebastian didn't say anything when Rachel left them alone and went to take Finn to her bedroom. _I'm not nervous, of course I'm not. Why the hell should I be nervous? _While Sebastian was having a conversation with himself, Kurt grabbed his wrist and dragged him to the stairs.

The two said coaches were in close view of each other and Kurt let Sebastian's hand go when they were in the middle of them. He then went to a closet to take some blankets, sheets and pillows. Sebastian sat one of the couches while watching Kurt laying the sheet and the pillow on the other coach. When he finally approved his job, he moved closer to Sebastian, took his hand and make him lay there. Once Sebastian lied on the coach that Kurt made a minute ago with questioning eyes, Kurt laid the blanket over him and went to make his coach. Sebastian could see Kurt stumble slightly probably because of the alcohol. But Kurt managed to make his coach in the end, turned the lights off and went to his coach chuckling at something.

Sebastian was still absorbing the fact that Kurt Hummel just made his bed when he was distracted by Kurt's chuckling.

"What?" he asked. Kurt giggled this time.

"I'm a little drunk." He answered.

"Oh you don't say so." Sebastian said laughing softly. "So your being a little drunk is the reason for your teenage girl giggles?"

"Maybe it is." Kurt sounded a little more stable this time. "Or maybe you're here lying across a person who you hated the moment you saw." He said laughing as if he just made a hilarious joke.

"Oh no honey! I didn't hate you. I just didn't like you much." Sebastian answered as teasingly as he could.

"Why past tense?" Kurt asked when he stopped his endless giggles.

"Maybe, I don't not like you anymore." He answered without thinking an instant.

"That's good." Kurt whispered before yawning. "Good night Seb."

"Night, Kurt." He said back, ignoring the dance of the butterflies in his stomach. It was just a nickname in the end and there was nothing cute about it!

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_Don't think. Don't analyze. Don't question. Don't remember. Stop freaking out! _For the last two hours Sebastian had been repeating those sentences as if they had a power to turn him a robot.

Since Kurt dropped him at Lima Bean after a very awkward morning at Rachel's-awkward it was because Sebastian was nervous and Sebastian was hardly nervous so- he couldn't stop himself remembering the electrifying feeling of Kurt's lips on his. This was so …wrong!

A simple truth or dare kiss wasn't supposed to be that impressive, _breathtaking. _He wasn't supposed to want to be around Kurt all the time. He wasn't supposed to smile every time he remembered Kurt's blissful face after pulling away from Sebastian. He wasn't supposed to be nervous about what Kurt possibly might think about the kiss. He wasn't supposed to feel…well. Obviously there were a lot things Sebastian wasn't supposed to do.

When he was drowning in his chaotic inner world, Jeff showed his head behind the door.

"Pirates of the Caribbean marathon, you in?" he asked once his eyes found Sebastian crawled in his bed, head between his hands.

"Got better things to do than admire Johnny Depp's body." He answered, clearly not in the mood.

"You know what, that wasn't really a question. Be at Nick's room in five, I'll grab the snacks." With that Nick closed the door, leaving a suddenly "awaken" Sebastian behind.

_Of course! _Just like Nick and Jeff dragged him nearly everywhere they went. They were the closest people whom Sebastian could call friends and they wanted to be with him almost all the time. And Kurt said they were friends! So Sebastian was supposed to want to be with him too. Because friends wanted to be around each other. Sebastian's face was lightened up with this new discovery which erased all of the unanswered questions from his mind. With friends, everything could be ok, right?

And if he went to Lima Bean at 3:45pm with clear intention of seeing Kurt, that was ok too. Friends were supposed to see each other and there was nothing wrong to wear a smile the moment he spotted Kurt sitting by the window with Rachel. But soon enough, Sebastian noticed something was wrong. Kurt looked tense and Rachel was talking furiously. They didn't realize Sebastian and he didn't do anything to catch their attention while walking closer to them.

"He had no right to talk to you like that Kurt! You can't allow this." That was what Sebastian heard when they finally saw him. Despite his tense posture, Kurt could manage to smile when his eyes met Sebastian's.

"An outburst again?" he asked Rachel amusedly.

"There was definitely an outburst, true!" Rachel answered without saying anything first to greet Sebastian. Kurt's smile disappeared immediately after this.

"Something wrong?" he asked, even though it was crystal clear.

"Absolutely wro-"

"Nothing important." Kurt interrupted Rachel. But of course that wouldn't stop her.

"Nothing important! Are you kidding me? I really don't get it. How can you be so calm about this?" Rachel snapped at him. But Kurt looked like he was consuming the last piece of his patience.

"What else I should have done? Shout at him? Defend myself even if I've done nothing wrong? Try to explain myself to someone who already gave the verdict? Please! Just let it go Rachel!"

Kurt said to Rachel. Even though his voice was harsh, his eyes softened immediately when he saw Rachel pouting.

"Bother to enlighten me?" Sebastian asked.

Rachel, then, turned to him before lifting her hand to Kurt to stop him when he opened his mouth.

"You remember kissing Kurt at my party?" She asked Sebastian. _Did that memory leave my mind alone for a second? _Sebastian just nodded silently, waiting for Rachel to go on.

"Well, Puck took your photo while you were making..i mean kissing and uploaded all of the photos of the party on Facebook." Sebastian saw Kurt taking his head between his hands and looking nowhere but his coffee cup on the table.

"So he… Blaine saw them and that one too, obviously. And he…" She stopped to look at Kurt who now lifted his head and turned to Sebastian.

"And he said how I could be so easy to give in to you. That it wasn't even a month and I threw myself to somebody…to you." Kurt's voice was like an automatic tape record devoid of any kind of emotion.

"He said what!" Sebastian snapped immediately. _How dare! _"I'll just go and ki…I mean I'll go and talk to him." Sebastian said at the last moment. He had no idea why he got that angry with Blaine but he was the one to steal Kurt's smile again and even that was enough to start with.

"No one is talking to Blaine!" Kurt said immediately and he looked serious.

"Why Kurt? What did you say to him?" Sebastian asked.

"He said NOTHING!" wow, angry Rachel was back again. "Blaine said all those stupid things in front of whole Glee club and Kurt just looked at him for a while and left the choir room. And we all knew the truth of course, but anyway he had no right Kurt, you could have-"

"Rachel! Like you said, you all knew the truth, but he didn't." Kurt interrupted Rachel and then whispered something. Something like "He's just upset."

"What the hell Kurt?" Rachel, too, obviously heard what Kurt whispered. "How can you defend him after what he has done to you?"

"He didn't try to kill me Rachel, people can forget things." Rachel was looking at Kurt with disbelieving eyes.

"Ohh, don't be so naïve Kurt! Do you seriously believe he.." But Rachel didn't complete her sentence and looked away from Kurt.

"What?" Kurt asked. "What do I seriously believe?" This time Sebastian wanted to shout at his silliness. Really! Kurt was being silly.

"Nothing." Rachel whispered this time. Sebastian saw her looking at him like she didn't know what else to say. So that was one of those moments when Sebastian should have thought before talking.

"I don't believe he forgot either." He said looking at Rachel's surprised face. But when he saw Kurt, he instantly regretted what he said.

"What..what do you know?" he asked, looking paler with every breath he took.

Sebastian loved Rachel the moment she took Kurt's hand and rescued Sebastian from saying anything else.

"Kurt…I know it's hard to accept but…do you really believe it's a coincidence that Blaine first forgot to send your portfolio and then asked you to wait for him." Rachel said softly. She was looking at Kurt like he was something that can be broken with any inappropriate touch. Kurt didn't answer for a while and then turned to Sebastian, pulling his hand back.

"And you think the same, because?" he asked.

"Because no one can be stupid enough to really believe that." he said, AGAIN, without thinking.

"Sebastian!" Rachel snapped immediately, but she didn't have to. Sebastian was already feeling like crushed by a giant trunk when he saw the same hurt look on Kurt's eyes.

"Kurt…" he could only say and then did something that surprised everyone, but mostly himself. He reached and took Kurt's now free hand inside his.

"I didn't mean that." He said softly. Kurt's hurt look was replaced by a surprised one.

"ıt's ok." He said but pulled his hand back. Rachel's phone found that moment to buzz and she mouthed a sorry before disappearing from their sight. Sebastian didn't feel any better though, especially after Kurt took his hand back.

"It's really ok Seb. I know you didn't mean that." Kurt said to him obviously sensing Sebastian's annoyance. But Kurt really should have stopped saying Seb because when he did that Sebastian's brain forgot how to function.

"I still believe he really forgot." Kurt said after a couple of minutes' silence. "I mean that's what I want to believe at least." _If you want to keep being stupid, go ahead then _Sebastian thought. But this time he was smart enough to do the most basic human ability; thinking before speaking.

"If that's what you want." He said instead and shrugged.

"I know what you are thinking." Kurt said. "But I'm not pathetic or stupid. I just…I have really good memories with Blaine." He said smiling at probably those unforgettable memories. "And I want to keep them as they are." He then lifted his head from his lap to look at Sebastian's eyes directly.

"Does that make any sense?"

Well, how could anything possibly make sense for Sebastian while Kurt was looking at him with his heavenly beautiful blue eyes.

"You still love him." Sebastian said and he had no idea what the hell he was thinking, if he was thinking at all. It wasn't a question. It wasn't a statement. It was just his answer to Kurt's question. He saw Kurt's eyes widened upon this but he didn't say anything for a while.

"Well, loving someone isn't same as knowing them." Kurt said sighing deeply. "So I don't know what happens next when you get to know people you already loved." How could any human being look hurt and breathtaking at the same time? Kurt Hummel was the one who should have answered that question of Sebastian's.

"Maybe this time you get to know them before you love them?" Sebastian said to him without missing his eyes, just staring at the owner of those spectacular, intense blue eyes. And when he saw some kind of light on them, for the first time he felt he said the right thing.

"As long as there is hope for love, I'm willing to learn." was all he heard before remembering to breathe again.

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Rachel's timing was Sebastian's favorite thing about her. She was back and for the second time saved Sebastian from forming an appropriate sentence.

"Will you be mad at me if I go now?" She asked Kurt. "I need to talk with Finn." She looked nervous. Kurt reached for hand and squeezed it.

"I'm always mad at you honey but this is how we love each other." Kurt said. Sebastian could notice Kurt was only teasing Rachel in order to soften the atmosphere. "Call me when you're done." He said and then let her hand go. Rachel leaned forward to him and placed a kiss on his cheek before saying "Of course I will."

She then turned to Sebastian to shake his hand. "I'll see you around." She said to him.

"Yeah, sure." Sebastian answered and with that Rachel was gone which meant Sebastian and Kurt were alone now.

"What?" Sebastian asked once he heard Kurt sighing deeply.

"Nothing. I feel just…I don't know ..a little-"

"Depressed?" Sebastian completed his sentence.

"Yeah, you can say that." Kurt said wearing his broken smile.

"And what are you gonna do about it?" Sebastian asked.

"I think I'll just go home and watch Amélie."

"Amélie?" Sebastian asked teasingly. "well, at least you didn't say Sex and the City." He said laughing at Kurt's changing face expression.

"I'll just ignore your hidden insult at the magnificent Carrie Bradshaw. Besides there is nothing wrong with Amélie. It always makes me happy when I'm..not." Kurt said. Sebastian didn't miss how his voice softened at the end of his sentence.

"Oh, a movie without a hot guy can make you happy?" Sebastian asked with the same teasing tone in his voice.

"Your knowing there is no hot guy in it speaks volume Seb! And, I know you're not that shallow." He said smiling. "That movie reminds me that if you can appreciate little things in life, happiness isn't hard to achieve."

"What little things?" Sebastian asked, not teasingly but curiously this time.

"Like, it's snowing beautifully outside and you don't have to be at school, you don't have to be at practice or something. You can sit by the window, drink your hot chocolate and just enjoy the view. Being in that ordinary but peaceful moment immediately lightens up your mood." Kurt smiled at Sebastian before taking a sip from his coffee and went on talking.

"Or like, you're driving your car and all of a sudden you hear your favorite song on the radio and you do nothing but just turn up the volume and before you realize there's a huge smile on your mouth and all you can do is to sing along with it loudly. It is not that you can't have any other chance to listen to it, but the randomness of that moment has a cheering effect on you." Kurt said to Sebastian smiling convincingly. "And I just need to remember that feeling."

Sebastian was…amazed. Not because, all of a sudden, he solved the mystery of happiness or he found life a much better place, but because Kurt was a person who could really be happy with these silly, little things. He was amazed by the beauty of Kurt's way of thinking.

"Ok, you can make fun of me if you want." Kurt said when Sebastian kept his silence upon Kurt's little monologue.

"Can I watch it with you?" _Did I really ask that? Excessive use of silliness today._

"Wh,,,what?" Kurt asked surprisingly which was quite natural as Sebastian was the one to mock his movie choice after all.

"Well, I just got curious how it could make you happy and I want to see it." Sebastian said trying to sound as nonchalant as possible.

"See what?" Kurt asked again. _God! What were the 'what' questions today?_

"See you happy." Sebastian said softly.

"Why?" _Ok! The what questions were much better._

"Because when I see happy, I feel better." Sebastian said and instantly his mouth was opened with shock. Either that voice must have belonged to someone else or Sebastian was possessed by some kind of being. But when he lifted his head to see Kurt's reaction, he just said _fuck you _to his inner freaking out self, because when Kurt smiled like that, nothing else mattered.

"Ok, I'd love that." was what Kurt said before standing from his chair. "But we need desserts first."

So, that was how Sebastian found himself sitting at the passenger seat of Kurt's car with strawberry cheesecakes on his lap. When did his life turn into a romcom he didn't know, but he was going to watch a girl movie with Kurt while eating cheesecakes and listening to Kurt's guilt-ridden ramblings for the calories in the cheesecake.

Once Kurt finally stopped the car in front of a two-storied house, Sebastian got out of the car and looked around. Neat! Yeah, that was what Sebastian would use to describe the neighborhood. While he was hesitating where to go from the spot he was standing, Kurt slightly touched his arm and pushed him towards a blue house.

But when they moved closer to house, Sebastian saw Blaine standing in front of the door and looking at them like he just got punched on the face. And Sebastian wished he had got punched after how he made Kurt feel himself, but didn't say anything, just stared at Kurt who, now, was looking really nervous.

"Blaine?" he asked softly and it was clear from his voice that he had no idea what to expect from this.

"Hey Kurt." Blaine said, finally looking away from Sebastian. "I just came too…I mean ..Rachel was right. I had no right to say those things. We broke up and you moved on." It was impossible to miss how his voice cracked while accepting this. "I'm sorry for what I have said today." He said, looking a lot smaller than he was. It was obvious he was trying to restrain his tears from falling. He looked at Sebastian again with a kind of emotion Sebastian couldn't name. But it was far from something good.

"Hey Blaine. Long time no see." Sebastian said to him without missing his eyes, giving his usual smirk. But Blaine didn't respond to him as he was distracted by Kurt's eyes on his.

"It's ok Blaine." Kurt said to him. That was all he said, but his voice was sincere.

They stood in front of the door awkwardly for a while before Blaine finally came to his senses and told them he got to go. After he disappeared from their sight, Sebastian heard Kurt sighing deeply while opening the door. But when he stepped inside the house, he turned to Sebastian with a refreshed look devoid of any kind nervousness.

"Ok, come in Sebastian. There is no need to be a stranger." He said to him. As Sebastian couldn't ease his nervousness as quickly as Kurt did, he let out a low sigh before stepping inside the house.

"I'll make us coffee and then we can go to my room to watch the movie." Kurt said to him when he didn't get any response from Sebastian.

Sebastian didn't say anything again, just managed to smile and started to glance over the living room. It was a comfortable yet modern room with lots of photo frames on the walls. But before he investigated any further, the smell of cinnamon hit him. Sebastian just loved everything cinnamon. So he followed the smell until he found out it was coming from the kitchen. He didn't hesitate before entering the small but cozy kitchen.

Kurt smiled at him when he saw Sebastian searching for the source of the smell. He gave a coffee mug to Sebastian and went to take out a tray from the oven on which small, cinnamon rolls were waiting to find their way to Sebastian's mouth. Kurt laughed at Sebastian's enthusiasm when he wasted no time to take one to his mouth. And Sebastian couldn't help letting out some sinful noises, because, _oh my god, _the cookies must have been a piece of heaven. Kurt emptied the tray by placing the rolls in a bowl and took his mug from the counter.

"Come on, time to be happy." He said to Sebastian heading towards to living room. Sebastian followed him with a mug in one hand and a cheesecake plate in another until they stopped in front of a wooden door at downstairs.

Once they walked into the Kurt's room-seriously there was no need to tell it was his as the room was shouting Kurt- Kurt put his mug and the cookie bowl on a white coffee table. Sebastian didn't wait for an invitation to tumble into the bed after putting his mug and the plate on the table.

"Oh my god Seb! That bedspread is Giorgio Armani! Show some respect." Kurt shouted at him faking an angry face and went to put the dvd on the player.

"You should hear yourself. When did you turn into a 50 year old lady?" Sebastian asked him amusedly.

"It's not your fault you can't appreciate fashion." Kurt answered back.

"I really don't want to hear anything after you associate even a bedcover with fashion." He said rolling his eyes.

Kurt didn't answer, just shrugged, started the movie and leaned backwards to his pillow. Sebastian did the same after taking the cookie bowl on his lap.

"I'll give you my cheesecake if you give up on the cookies." He said to Kurt, drown in the pleasure in his mouth. Kurt chuckled but hushed him to watch the movie.

They were half way through the movie and Kurt was smiling most of the time which made it really difficult for Sebastian to focus on the movie. Kurt looked so calm and peaceful-_and beautiful- _when he smiled and it was a more appealing image than Audrey Tautou's pretty face.

But his scenery was ruined with a buzz from Kurt's phone. Kurt took his phone to look at and his well-shaped eye brows frowned immediately. He didn't do anything for a while, just stared at his phone's screen blankly and soon after Sebastian felt his stomach tightened because there were tears on Kurt's eyes.

"What's wrong?" he asked softly while reaching for Kurt's free hand to take. Kurt didn't respond to him, but lifted his head from his phone to look at Sebastian. He tried to smile but it caused him more tears falling from his angelic eyes. Sebastian, for the first time in his life, felt helpless.

"What is it Kurt?" he asked again. Kurt gave his phone to him without saying anything and then Sebastian saw the text sent by the stupid of the century. Blaine.

"_Please tell me, you aren't over me that easily." _

Sebastian couldn't help cursing under his breath before throwing the phone on the bed. He didn't know what to do next. Kurt was still crying silently, never looking at anywhere else but his hands on his lap. So Sebastian did what he did on pure instinct. He pulled Kurt and wrapped his hands around his waist and started to draw soothing circles on his back. He didn't say anything, just listened to Kurt's sobs and felt the warmness radiating from Kurt's body.

It was weird. Being that close to someone. But he didn't feel anything uncomfortable. Instead, he pulled Kurt tighter into his embrace. He could hear his sobs slowing down while relaxing into Sebastian's hug.

"Why didn't you tell him the truth?" he whispered in his ear. But he wished he hadn't, because now Kurt was pulling away from him. He didn't pull back completely though, just enough to look at Sebastian's eyes.

"It's better this way." He said softly. "If he thinks I've moved on, he can do the same."

"What about you?" Sebastian asked, a little snappishly.

"Me?" Kurt said smiling sadly. "I don't know." _You don't know? You're trying to make things easy for this selfish bastard and you don't know what the hell you are gonna do? Maybe I was wrong; you are the stupid of the century. _Luckily, Sebastian had the nerves to hide these thought to himself.

"But if it bothers you, I mean Blaine's thinking I'm with you, I can always tell him." Kurt added obviously misinterpreting the anger on Sebastian's eyes.

"I would say don't be silly, but you're already silly so…No, it doesn't bother me." Sebastian said, trying to give him an assuring smile.

"What bothers me seeing you cry. Because you're gorgeous when you smile."

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People say what you don't know makes you scared. Sebastian was in the very condition to completely agree with these people. He didn't have the slightest idea about why he was doing what he was doing these days.

After he left Kurt's house when he was finally relaxed enough to give Sebastian a genuine smile, Sebastian came to a very late realization; he cared about Kurt! He had an unspoken rule as to not caring about anyone but his family. Everything was easy this way. Selfish was the new strong for him. But… he started to care about Kurt more than he should have and this was scaring the hell out of him.

Whenever he closed his eyes, the image of Kurt smiling or crying or rolling eyes or just standing and looking at Sebastian with his big blue eyes rushed into his mind.

What was wrong with him? He didn't know. Why was he angry with Blaine who did nothing to piss off Sebastian? He didn't know. Why was he feeling like throwing up every time he remembered the silent tears falling from Kurt's eyes? He didn't know. Why couldn't he look at Kurt without thinking about the heated kiss they shared before? Again. He didn't know.

And he was scared. It wasn't that he had some nasty relationship experience in the past or he went through a rough childhood. It was the opposite instead. Sebastian was just a rich, spoiled kid who always got what he wanted. He was loved and cherished by his parents no matter what and he just didn't need anything else in his life. He was used to attention, the admiring looks he received by both girls and boys, being wanted or needed. But obviously he wasn't used to being at the opposite site of these things. Now, he was scared because he didn't know what would happen next. Because he never had to think about what to do next. Because he was Sebastian freaking Smythe and he was never afraid of human relations. He was good at communication, he was good at making people laugh without extra effort, he was good at flirting but…he was awfully bad at feelings. Because he didn't do feelings!

What he needed to was to stay away..stay away from whatever or ,yes, whomever made him feel like a puzzle. Because 'the friend excuse' wasn't enough anymore. Because he never wanted to push Nick or Jeff against the nearest wall and kiss them until he couldn't breathe any longer. Yes. He needed to stay away. He needed to be his usual, carefree self. He needed his life to be uncomplicated as the way it was. So. He needed to stay away from Kurt.

That's why Sebastian was using his all willpower not to respond to the texts Kurt had been sending for two days. He had to knock over all of the butterflies in his stomach as they couldn't help leaping up every time there was a text from Kurt.

They were all about trivial things like a TV series or a pair of skinny pants Kurt happened to buy at half price at first. But when his texts were unreturned all the time, Sebastian could notice Kurt was starting to be anxious as his following messages did nothing but asked if Sebastian was ok.

Sebastian kept his silence until he saw there was a call from Kurt on his call. He didn't pick up but then had to listen to Kurt's freaking out from his voice mail. So he applied to some white lies to make his plan work.

_"I've caught some terrible influenza. Don't feel like talking to anybody. Sorry."_

But this didn't work either. After Sebastian sent that message, there were a lot more texts sent from Kurt than before.

"_Are you ok? Do you have someone with you?"_

"_I can come over if you want?"_

"_Have you eaten anything today?"_

"_Sebastian."_

"_Seb."_

"_I can make you a chicken soup. People say it has got some magical healing powers."_

"_Answer me you asshole. I'm worried about you."_

"_I'm sorry. But answer me please."_

"_I'll make you cinnamon rolls."_

"_If you are alive of course."_

"_Sebastian."_

"_Seb."_

"_Bas."_

Sebastian did his best to ignore those texts, trying not to think about Kurt's visible anxiety for him. But the truth was he was having much difficulty for not talking to him than he assumed and Kurt wasn't making it any easier by sending those texts. So Sebastian had no other choice than being an asshole.

"_What the hell Kurt! I am alive and not in the mood for listening your annoying voice. Just leave me alone. S."_

Sebastian knew it was for the best. At least for him. But he couldn't help feeling like a crap after sending that message.

"_I'm sorry." _was Kurt's answer and Sebastian was feeling a lot worse when he imagined the hurt look on Kurt's face. He had wanted to punch Blaine for making Kurt hurt, but now he was doing the same. But he had his reasons. If he didn't stop now, he would have done more than hurt. Just because he didn't know how to deal with feelings didn't mean he would hurt Kurt's. Maybe he did already. But just for now. Never again.

That was the reason Sebastian did everything to avoid Nick and Jeff who called him to join them at Lima Bean and complete their history task. He said no instantly, but Nick insisted that they wouldn't write his name under the assignment if he didn't move his ass and go there.

He sighed relaxedly when he entered Lima Bean and saw Kurt wasn't there. Running into him was the last thing Sebastian wanted right now. They argued about cold war for almost two hours and completed more than half of their assignment while one of them refreshing their coffee nonstop. Sebastian was about to make some interesting points about Marshall Plan when he saw him. Kurt was in the queue waiting for the barista to finish the order of the customer in front of him. Sebastian was already grabbing his stuff and standing from his chair, when Kurt's eyes found their table. Well, it wouldn't be wrong to say Sebastian just froze upon this. And of course his stupid blonde friend had to shout to Kurt to make him come to their table. Sebastian saw Kurt's eyes rested on him a little longer than they did on the others and he just couldn't look away from him while he was moving towards them with a coffee on his hand.

Jeff didn't wait a minute to pull Kurt into a tight hug while Nick was waiting for his turn. Sebastian fought his urge to push them back and hug Kurt himself instead.

"I missed you guys." Kurt said to them while finally releasing himself from Nick's embrace.

"That's why you came over to Dalton to visit us!" Jeff said to him teasingly. But Kurt's attention was already on Sebastian so he just smiled innocently at Jeff and looked at Sebastian again.

"You recovered, I see." He said to him softly. But before Sebastian said anything, Nick turned to him with a confused face.

"Were you sick?" he asked to him. "You seemed ok yesterday." Sebastian tried to shrug and roll his eyes before turning to Kurt who looked more confused than Nick.

"I think he was sick for three days, guys. How couldn't you notice it?" Kurt asked to them. And funny thing was he seemed irritated by the fact that Sebastian wasn't noticed by his friends.

"Three days?" Jeff asked this time. "But we went to Scandals the night before last night. You were more than ok as I remembered." Jeff said making some faces that were meant to be something for Sebastian.

"Oh…" Kurt said softly and that was the moment Sebastian understood he was screwed.

"I really had some terrible headache." He said to Kurt immediately. "I had to use a lot of aspirins. That's what sick people do, right?" he asked trying to justify himself to Kurt who seemed more hurt than convinced.

"I'm glad you're ok then." He said looking away from him. "I really want to catch up with you some time guys." He said to Nick and Jeff faking a smile-He was faking the smile because Sebastian knew how Kurt really smiled- "But I got to go now. My dad's waiting for me." With that he stood from his chair, waved his hand to Jeff and got out of Lima Bean without looking at Sebastian for once.

And Sebastian was supposed to be glad. His plan worked smoothly. He didn't need to do anything to make Kurt stay away from him. He just screwed up his friendship with him and probably Kurt wouldn't want to see him again. That was what he needed, right? He didn't need to go after Kurt and apologize until he said he'd forgive him for being such an asshole. Yes he didn't need anything related to Kurt.

But then why did he go to a dvd store and buy Amélie right after leaving Nick and Jeff at Lima Bean? Why did he go to his room directly on a Friday night and curl under his blankets and watch a movie _which was supposed to have nothing to do with Kurt_? Why did he smile every time he remembered Kurt's reaction to certain scenes of the movie?

Sebastian was starting to get some things but he didn't allow himself to say them loudly or accept them in the first place. He just muffled with his blanket and let his mind linger around an afternoon full of cinnamon, warmth, tears and smiles.

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Sebastian did his best. He ignored the empty feeling in his stomach. He found the nearest Sturbucks to Dalton in order to avoid Lima Bean as much as possible. He even deleted Kurt's number from his phone with an attempt not to yield to his temptation to call him. But there was one thing he didn't take into consideration; Sectionals! Even if they wouldn't have to talk with each other, Sebastian would still see him and it would surely require his all self-control not to go near him.

So that was the reason for Sebastian's nervousness on the day of Sectionals. He was going to sing two solos, but he knew he would just nail them, but he wasn't sure at all what he would do when his eyes found the blue-eyed boy among the audience. To his luck, they were last to perform, so maybe the other show choirs didn't want to watch the last group. But his inner voice reminded him that they would have to wait for the announcement of the winner any way.

He almost forgot about his potential encounter with Kurt while watching the first show choir ridiculing themselves and glad to be able to distract his mind for a while. But obviously, god or whatever deity was responsible for Sebastian, had other plans for him.

Because when it was New Direction's turn, Sebastian didn't have to bother trying not to look at Kurt as there was no one else that could attract his attention other than Kurt whose hair was styled in a way that made him look like he just got out of the bed. He was wearing a black and red checked cardigan on a white, obviously tight, t-shirt and even that wasn't enough he stood in front of the stage between two girls, leaned towards his right, lifted his one arm and said; "_It doesn't matter if you love him or capital H.I.M"_ in a really seducing tone. With that the two girls opened his cardigan from both sides revealing what was written on it; _Likes Boys_. A girl, Tina if he remembered correctly, started singing while three of them were presenting their choreography which required a lot of shaking and swaying and damn, Kurt was like an open invitation of the wildest dreams while shaking his hips like this. He was full of confidence and looked like a badass rock performer. The lack of layers in his clothes was pleasantly welcome by Sebastian.

When the second verse ended, Sebastian had to hold the chair tightly. Because Kurt took of his cardigan, threw it to the audience like a professional stripper, gave an eyewash for his pinky-tanned, muscled arms and started singing the part;

"_Don't be a drag, just be a queen  
Whether you're broke or evergreen  
You're black, white, beige, chola descent  
You're Lebanese, you're orient  
Whether life's disabilities  
Left you outcast, bullied, or teased  
Rejoice and love yourself today  
'cause baby you were born this way" _in the same seducing voice that sent Sebastian to the edges. And he should have just stopped shaking his hips like that because Sebastian already felt his growing erection reminding its presence under his gray pants. He may have found Kurt a little _hot. _Oh hell! Who was he kidding? Kurt was more than hot!

Even while he was doing nothing but just standing on the stage, he easily stood out by his confident and captivating eyes. He was the perfect combination of wild and cute at the same time.

It was official now. Sebastian was losing his mind. Because he was about to accept something, something that was never supposed to cross his mind. Before his big confession to himself, New Directions left the stage which meant Sebastian had to move his ass to the stage. But first, he had to do something. He had to find Kurt.

"Kurt!" he shouted to him once he spotted him among his friends. He saw Kurt stop immediately upon hearing his voice. Kurt turned to Sebastian with a confused and questioning face.

"Do you have one minute?" he asked to him ignoring Blaine's annoying presence so near to Kurt. Kurt looked hesitant but somehow, Sebastian heard him saying "ok". He walked closer to Sebastian after motioning the others to go.

"So?" he asked as soon as they were left alone.

"That was quite a show." He said trying to sound as calm as he could manage.

"Why thank you Seb." Kurt said surprisedly. "Sebastian I mean." He added instantly. Sebastian frowned at this sudden adjustment but didn't say anything.

"That's what you want to tell me?" Kurt asked again.

"No. I just…Will you watch my, I mean, our performance?"

"I want to get rid of this t-shirt as soon as possible. I don't know if I can make it on time." Kurt answered nonchalantly.

"Watch it. Please." Sebastian demanded. "At least my first solo. It's …it'll be for you." Sebastian nearly whispered, but he knew Kurt heard him as his wide eyes presented sufficient clue that he was utterly shocked.

"Oka-ay." He said looking at Sebastian questioningly.

"Alright then. I got to change. See you later, I guess." He said to Kurt before heading to the changing room.

That wasn't something he planned to do. But right now, Sebastian didn't want anything more than being with Kurt and he knew he should have made up to him somehow, so he trusted his first song would give him that opportunity.

As soon as the uuhhs and aahhhs of the Warblers began, Sebastian moved closer to the stage. His eyes searched feverishly until they rested on the boy with the gorgeous smile and he nodded him softly before starting the song.

"_You are relentless, I am defenseless  
Why did you knock me down tonight?  
You beat me senseless, I just don't get this  
How many times do I have to try?"_

He knew he had to make eye contact with the audience-the audience other than Kurt- while keeping up with the chorography but he couldn't bring himself to look away from where they fixed.

" _Your whisper, so clear, the world disappears  
As I fall into the darkness, it's impossible to express  
How good it feels, I'm wrapped up, I'm sealed  
So tight I'll never be free, oh, I don't fight the feeling"_

Sebastian wanted to tell Kurt the same thing exactly. So that was the reason for the distinctive liveliness in the chorus part.

"_Get back in my life, come knock on my door  
What I'm looking for, I think you should know  
You started a fire, burned me to the floor  
Please don't resist anymore, I'll never leave you alone"_

Sebastian wasn't sure if he was anywhere near to make promises, but he was sure that unless Kurt wanted him to do so, he would never wish to leave him alone-but they say be careful what you wish for!-

Sebastian noticed the surprise in Kurt's eyes upon hearing Sebastian's voice in its lowest tone.

"_Can you feel me coming?  
I'm screaming, searching, calling  
Paranoid, 'cause I'm always  
Coming back to you, coming back to you_

And you know how much I missed it  
And you know I can't resist it  
See your lips and just come running  
Right on back to you, right on back to you"

When the song finally ended, Sebastian broke the magical eye contact and could realize there were other people watching him also. But he flashed his charming, cocky smile and they all began to applaud like crazy.

The only thing on his mind was Kurt when they finally left the stage. He knew he wouldn't have a chance to talk to him until the announcement of the winner, but he couldn't help wandering his surrounding to see those strangely familiar eyes.

He was pretending to listen to whatever Wes was talking about when they were called on the stage. The other show choirs had already taken their place by the time they got there. As if Kurt was his magnet, his eyes instantly found him among the New Directions. His expression was unreadable and he missed his eyes when Sebastian looked at him which left Sebastian clueless about his reaction to the song.

A short, bald man saved Sebastian from this torture by announcing the last place. Well, Sebastian didn't expect a group of old people singing as if they were in the shower would do better than them. He realized he was more excited to confront with Kurt than to learn the winner. The short man shouted "New Directions" to claim the winner and Sebastian couldn't be happier to see Kurt jumping and screaming with Rachel. If their losing meant Kurt's happiness, then it wasn't a big deal. _Where is the selfish Sebastian I know and love so much._

Upon Kurt's lively reaction to their victory, Sebastian couldn't hold himself any longer to walk towards him on the stage. Puck was the first to realize him and gave him a quick smile before returning to a blond girl he hadn't seen before.

"Sorry for your loss Sebastian." Santana teased as soon as she set her eyes on him.

"Don't be. You were better." _And it is only because of Kurt, of course._ He said to her without teasing.

"Well, I can't argue with that." Sebastian was surprised to hear Kurt's voice. "But I'm glad you liked it too." Kurt added.

Sebastian wanted to say something. Anything. But there were other people so he looked at Kurt showing the backstage implying he wanted some alone time with him. Kurt obviously got what he meant as he tugged Sebastian's arm and led the way to the backstage.

Once they found a deserted spot, Kurt stopped Sebastian and looked at him, waiting for him to talk.

"Hi." He could only say. Wow. That was new. After selfless, he became stupid now. Kurt didn't show any king of emotion though.

"So, that was your way of apologizing for being an asshole?" He asked Sebastian without missing his eyes in a serious tone.

"Yeah…kind of." Sebastian answered, looking really stressed but when he heard Kurt chuckle he lifted his head from the floor and saw the spectacular smile on Kurt's face.

"Well, you could just I'm sorry and that would be enough." He said softly this time. "Even though I still had no idea why you suddenly hated me before, but apology accepted." He added.

"What…Kurt when did I hate you?" he asked.

"When you say someone you don't want to see them or hear their annoying voice, i don't think it means you like them very much." Kurt said. He wasn't angry, but hurt a little.

"No, no Kurt! It isn't like that." Sebastian tried to assure him.

"I'd like to hear your reason then." Kurt asked raising his eye brows.

"I wasn't just in the mood for being a good friend." Sebastian said looking at his shoes.

"Why? Something wrong?" Kurt asked instantly.

"No. It's just… I needed some time alone." Sebastian said at last.

"Ok. That is reasonable. But next time tell me just this instead of insulting." Kurt said smiling weakly.

"Kurt. I'm sorry. Really. I didn't mean what I said." Sebastian said, surprised by the desperateness of his voice.

"Of course you didn't. I know my voice is fabulous." Kurt smiled this time. Sebastian could only nod to Kurt as his heart skipped a beat when Kurt smiled at him like that.

He was still scared. But right now, at that moment there was nowhere he'd rather be. And why was that?

Yes. He liked Kurt. A lot.

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

Sebastian had thought things were going to be awkward and complicated when he finally accepted he had freaking feelings for Kurt. But instead, now that he accepted it, it was easier to text or call or even meet him. Because that was what he was supposed to do now. He didn't need any excuse to be near him. He, for the first time in his life, decided to be one of those idiots and admitted liking someone and all he wanted to do was to hear from that someone in any way.

Of course, not everything was sunshine and rainbow. He was nervous about revealing his feeling in front of Kurt and he couldn't afford screwing up his friendship again. Because after all, friendship was all he had to be a part of Kurt's life. So he really tried hard not to show this ridiculous side of himself to Kurt.

So, that was the reason why Sebastian deliberately avoided looking at Kurt while the tip of his tongue was flicking out and caressing his upper lip to erase the coffee mousse. Because ,could there be anything more tempting than watching Kurt sucking his lips? Sebastian would have to make sure Kurt didn't have anything with mousse the next time they would come to Starbucks. As they both were sick and tired of meeting at Lima Bean all the time, Sebastian suggested coming to Starbucks he discovered while trying to stay away from Kurt. After the sectionals, they easily turned back to their usual routine texting and meeting without arranging in the first place. Of course, Sebastian was glad to see Kurt was as willing as himself when it came to meeting for a coffee. Because seriously, could coffee be the only reason for that?

Other than the whole feelings thing, everything was easy and comfortable with Kurt. There was always something they could talk about. Sebastian even enjoyed laughing at the silliest things as it meant hearing the cutes sounds Kurt made while laughing or just chuckling and he enjoyed it more when he managed to put a smile on Kurt's sculpturous face. The only thing that ruined their blissful moments was Blaine. He just didn't stop texting Kurt and sending him flowers and stupid teddy bears. He could be much calmer if they made Kurt happy, but instead, whenever something happened related with the stupid asshole known as Blaine, his breathtaking smile disappeared immediately and the shining in his heavenly beautiful eyes was replaced by the unshed tears. And just for this, Sebastian could kill Blaine.

"I've always wandered?" Sebastian began trying to ignore the text Kurt had just got.

"Do you really have to wait for me to ask?" Kurt said to him annoyingly.

"I don't want to make you uncomfortable though." Sebastian answered carefully.

"I'm already uncomfortable Seb. Just shoot already." Kurt said showing his phone to him.

"You never got angry with me when I was hitting on Bla..i mean him. You didn't even look jealous. Instead you were just nice to me while I was a total douchebag. So what I'm asking…" Sebastian stopped to take a breath, but Kurt interrupted him.

"If I'm a kind of saint, or just a guy who is confident enough to trust his boyfriend for not cheating him?" Kurt completed his question smiling softly.

"Well, you can put it like that as long as I get an answer." Sebastian answered.

"Honestly, Seb, I never believed you'd really sleep with him knowing he was already in a relationship. I thought you were just playing around and I let you have fun. Besides, everyone likes attention and I thought Blaine deserved to be appreciated by someone other than me." Kurt told Sebastian in a lightly serious tone.

"I really want to use a different adjective other than silly for you but you aren't making it any easier Kurt. " Sebastian said a little snappishly. "You think, you did something good while trying to raise Blaine's low self-confidence by letting me hit on him?" he asked. Kurt didn't say anything but the look in his eyes gave him away.

"You don't need to say it explicitly. I'm smarter than you give credit for." Sebastian said softly. "And believe me I'd really sleep with him the second I got the chance." Sebastian added embarrassedly. Kurt raised his one eye brow.

"Now, you have it." He said looking at Sebastian directly.

"Have what?"

"The chance." Kurt answered.

"Oh…not interested anymore." Sebastian could say.

"Why not?" Kurt pushed and Sebastian didn't like the way the conversation was going. So he just shrugged and murmured something like "just because.." Kurt looked at him for a while and then his eyes lightened with a seemingly new discovery.

"Oh! You met someone, didn't you?" he asked excitedly. _Yes, you idiot. I met someone. I met you and then you came and gave me your fucking beautiful smile and made my life a complicated mess._

"Maybe." Sebastian only said.

"Oh my god Seb! You have to tell me everything." Kurt said clapping his hands like a child.

"No way!" Sebastian snapped immediately. "I mean, not now, at least." He added.

"Okay. But don't think this is over. You'll have to tell me at some point." Kurt said chuckling. _Oh, believe me, I know._

_ "_Anyway." Sebastian said in an attempt to change the topic. "Do you want to go somewhere tonight? You know, somewhere we can dance?" he asked to Kurt.

"Oh.." Kurt said thoughtfully. "I really love dancing Seb, but I don't think I love Scandals that much."

"Who said we'd go to Scandals?" Sebastian asked amusedly.

"Then, where?" Kurt asked curiously.

"There is a gay bar near Colombus, called Summerboy." Sebastian answered and the moment he saw the light in Kurt's eyes, he knew it was a date.

"Oh my god! A gay bar named after a Gaga song? I've already loved it." Kurt said in a childishly excited way which Sebastian was quite fond of. "Let me call my dad and then I'm yours to go." He said to Sebastian before walking away from the table.

Sebastian really pissed off himself for holding his breath for such an ordinarily said word. But Kurt's saying yours to Sebastian would always cause some butterfly movement in his stomach no matter what.

Summerboy wasn't somewhere very classy or elite but it wasn't as seedy as Scandals and the people profile was much better. At least, you couldn't see middle aged bald men scared of stepping out of their closet. And from the approving look on Kurt's face, Sebastian could say Kurt was on the same page with him.

Sebastian ordered their drinks without wasting time-Kurt wanted vodka this time and Sebastian realized even though Kurt didn't drink much he always had some heavy stuff- since Sebastian thought it would be better if Kurt would just forget about the stupid hobbit and loosened himself a little, he took the responsibility of driving back, so he just had a beer for himself.

After Kurt finished his second glass of vodka, he took Sebastian by his wrist.

"Ok, beautiful. Let's go and dance." He said chuckling. Sebastian laughed at Kurt's funny attempt to wink.

"So alcohol makes you flirtatious?" he asked him amusedly.

"It wasn't a move or something silly. It was just a description." Kurt said smiling softly and every time Sebastian thought there couldn't be anything he liked more about Kurt, he just found himself deeper than before.

"Smartass." He said to Kurt as teasingly as possible when they finally stopped at a spot on the dance floor.

Sebastian always liked dancing. Alone or with someone. But it was something different to dance with someone you liked. It was overwhelming, breathtaking and frustrating, suffocating at the same time. While he felt the fireworks when Kurt put his hands on his neck and pulled him closer to dance, he also felt like being consumed by his desire to move his hand around Kurt's waist, to touch more of him, to get every part of him. And his smell. It was like the most pleasant torture on the earth, holding a very delicious man among your arms and not being allowed to taste him.

That's why Sebastian found it really hard to catch his breath when Kurt leaned closer to whisper something in Sebastian's ear.

"Thank you Seb." Maybe it was the warmth of Kurt's breath or the closeness of their bodies or just a simple nickname uttered by Kurt's delicious lips that made it impossible for Sebastian to hold himself. Before he even realized they were an inch closeness to each other when Kurt pulled back slightly and Sebastian could swear he saw Kurt looking at his lips for at least two seconds.

Sebastian couldn't care less whether the time stopped or he was just drown in the strikingly beautiful eyes of Kurt. It didn't matter. What mattered was being in that moment, wrapping his hands around Kurt like a blanket and enjoying the bittersweet pleasure of the possibility of a kiss. But…just like in the movies, something found that moment to ruin the magic between them.

And that something was Sebastian's phone this time. Normally he wouldn't give a damn about picking up but the buzz he felt in the pocket of his pants woke him from his fantasy world and reminded him that Kurt was tipsy enough to act without thinking but Sebastian didn't have that luxury. It was the hardest moment of his life. Pulling away from the warmth and intoxicating smell of Kurt's body. He showed his phone to Kurt.

"I have to pick up this." He said to him missing his eyes.

But when he finally got out of the bar and saw the caller id, he congratulated himself for his supernatural willpower to break away from Kurt. Because it was his auntie and Miranda never called him when she knew he was out. This may have been about his sister, Cathy and he didn't even realize Kurt standing behind him while he was talking to Miranda without breathing.

"I'm on my way." was what he said before hanging up.

"What's wrong Seb?" Kurt asked. Sebastian was startled by hearing Kurt's voice so near him.

"Oh, Kurt, I'm so sorry. I have to go. It is my sister. Miranda said, she's my aunt by the way, Cathy had a fever and refused to be seen by a doctor." Sebastian told Kurt nervously.

"Of course." Kurt said softly. Sebastian's eyes widened when he felt Kurt's hand on his. "It's ok Seb. It's just a fever. Come on. I know exactly what to do." He said dragging Sebastian to his car. "But I'm still not sober enough to drive, so whenever you feel better we can go." He said when they stopped in front of Sebastian's car.

"Are you coming with me?" Sebastian asked surprisedly.

"Of course I'm Seb." Kurt said smiling softly. "If you want me to, I mean." He added silently.

"Come." Sebastian said immediately. "Please."

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Sebastian could have enjoyed the warm feeling of Kurt's hand over the gearshift if he wasn't too nervous about his sister. He realized Kurt was trying to distract his mind by asking some random questions about his family. As he was far from keeping a decent conversation, he decided to just go along with it.

"I get that your dad has another company in France. But what is your mum doing there?" Kurt asked. He was clearly surprised by the fact that Sebastian and his sister were living with their 24 old year aunt at weekends. But Sebastian was sure his answer would surprise him more.

"Well except from she's French, she's also the editor of French_ Vouge_. " Sebastian said and despite his nervousness he couldn't help laughing at Kurt's wide eyes looking as if he just learned Coco Channel was resurrected to life.

"You are kidding, right?" Kurt asked Sebastian with a shock expression on his face.

"I'm not kidding." Sebastian smiled at him. "I can make you meet her if you want." He added when they stopped at a red traffic light.

"Can you?" Kurt asked instantly. "But, oh, I don't think I can go to France all of a sudden." Kurt said pouting and wasn't he cute?

"No, silly my parents spend most of the winter here. So they'll be back before Christmas." He informed him, smiling at Kurt's childish excitement.

"Then I absolutely want to meet her!" Kurt said beaming at Sebastian. "But Seb, if your mother is the editor of the most influential fashion magazine in the world, how come you are still wearing those khaki golf pants?" Kurt teased Sebastian softly.

"At least I don't have to paint them on me." He answered back.

"Oh please! I look marvelous in my skinnies." Kurt said laughing. _Don't I know it? _Sebastian thought.

"Enjoy your delusions." He said instead. Kurt looked at Sebastian like what he said was just garbage, but didn't say anything just shrugged.

"So what about your aunt?" he asked instead of shooting back with his usual witty remarks.

"She's the CEO of the company here." Sebastian said and saw Kurt's well-shaped eye brows lifted with surprise. "I know she's kind of young but he finished Harvard Business School with an amazing degree. She is even smarter than me." Sebastian said winking at Kurt with his last sentence.

"I bet she is." Kurt answered laughing softly. "And Cathy?" Kurt asked then and Sebastian's face immediately lightened up.

"She's a sophomore in high school. She's also boarding but we generally meet at weekends at home. She was in France last year but dad wanted us to be together, so she came with me here. "Sebastian said. "She's 15 but she is as mature as I'm." He added laughing.

"Which is as mature as a three year old." Kurt said smiling. "You seem to be quite fond of her though?" he asked.

"She's the best thing in my life." Sebastian said silently. _Apart from you _he added inside. He glanced at Kurt who was giving him the most affectionate smile he had ever seen.

"She's lucky to have you." Kurt said to Sebastian with so much sincerity that Sebastian prayed God not to blush.

"Anyone should be lucky to have me, right?" he teased smiling weakly.

"This is the Sebastian I know and hate so much." Kurt said chuckling.

When they finally pulled over in front of Sebastian's house or mansion, he got out of his car in a mad rush and for a second he forgot Kurt was there too. The voice of footsteps behind himself reminded him this tiny little detail. He turned back to look at Kurt who was admiring the cream colored mansion in front of him. He didn't even hide his astonishment and was looking at Sebastian with his big blue eyes which Sebastian found, for one word, beautiful. He took Kurt by his wrist and dragged him to his house smiling. He wasted no time to make his way to Cathy's room with Kurt right behind him.

As soon as he opened the door of Cathy's room, he gave out a relieved sigh as he saw she was sleeping peacefully with Miranda next to her reading a book. She lifted her head to look at Sebastian and her eyes widened when they found Kurt right behind Sebastian.

"How is she?" Sebastian asked walking towards the bed and kneeling beside it. He put his one hand on Cathy's forehead and checked her temperature. Fortunately heat wasn't too much.

"She's better. I made her take some pills and I think It worked a little." She answered silently. "I was going to call Dr. Fay, but she didn't want anyone but you, so I had to call you. "

"It's ok." Sebastian whispered, patting his sister's cheek.

"So?" Miranda cleared her throat smiling at Kurt who was still standing by the door. Sebastian turned to look at Kurt who was now walking closer to them. He stopped right beside the bed and kneeled down to be at the same eye level with Miranda.

"Hi. I'm Kurt Hummel, a friend of Sebastian's." he said thrusting his hand to Miranda and smiling at Sebastian's silly grin. "I'm sorry to intrude like this, but Seb was nervous and I didn't want to leave him alone." Miranda smiled brightly at Kurt before letting his hand go.

"I'm Miranda, Sebastian's aunt. It's nice to finally put a face to the name, there is absolutely no reason to be sorry." She whispered to a very surprised Kurt. But their so-called silent conversation wasn't that silent clearly as Cathy's eyes started opening slowly. She looked around herself and a light found its way to her eyes when she spotted Sebastian.

"Sebby. You came?" she asked sleepily.

"Of course I did dumbass." He answered placing a soft kiss on her forehead. When Sebastian pulled back and sat at the back of the bed, Cathy finally set her eyes on Kurt and like Miranda beamed at him immediately.

"Oh we have company." She said smiling excitedly. Kurt returned her smile in the most gracious way possible for a human being. "I'm Cathy. Pleasure to finally meet you Kurt." She said softly.

Kurt was more confused than surprised this time. Before he said something Miranda excused herself and left the room to pick up her phone. Kurt came to his sense when his eyes rested on Cathy's smiling face again.

"Pleasure is mine. But I haven't said my name yet?" he said smiling questioningly.

"Oh yes you did." She said winking at Sebastian. "Your smile is as gorgeous as Sebastian kept talking about. " Well right now, Sebastian could sympathize with the idea of punching his little sister. But when he saw Kurt's smile grew wider, he just shrugged and missed his eyes.

"So what didn't you wear this time Cathy?" Sebastian asked instead seriously. Because it wasn't unusual to find Cathy with high fever or a really bad cold. She was allergic to coats, jackets, scarves, anything that was supposed to keep one warm.

"It isn't my fault the weather is as indecisive as Miranda when she tries to pick a pair of shoes." Cathy said feigning a defensive look.

"It is winter Cathy! Just put on your damn coat when you're out." Sebastian snapped slightly. He hated worrying about someone he cared. He saw Kurt watching them with an amused expression on his face.

"Well I think Cathy hasn't found the perfect coat yet." Kurt said smiling at Cathy whose eyes beamed immediately. "Have you seen the white Alexander McQueen yet?" he asked her excitedly. She chuckled before turning to Sebastian.

"Mum will just adopt him Sebby." She said to him laughing along with his big brother. Sebastian shoved her shoulder lightly. But his nervousness came back when he touched her forehad again.

"You're hot again." He said anxiously.

"I'm always hot big brother." Cathy teased him, but Sebastian didn't answer her, just got out of the bed to look for some pills in the drawer next to bed panickedly. He felt Kurt standing behind him and slightly startled when his hands rested on his shoulders.

"Seb, calm down." He said patting Sebastian's shoulder. "Can you get me some wet washcloths? It always works for my dad." He said softly. Sebastian nodded silently before heading to the bathroom.

When he came back with the washcloths Kurt asked for, he saw Cathy was in nothing but a grey underwear and her blanket was tossed away from her.

"Are you out of your mind? What did I just tell you?" he asked angrily. But before Cathy said something, Kurt chuckled softly.

"It's ok Seb. I told her to do so. We need to reduce the temperature of her body." Kurt told him while taking the washcloths from his hand. Then he crawled on the bed and Sebastian cursed himself to look at his perfect ass even in this situation. He watched Kurt putting one of the washcloths on Cathy's forehead and another one on his neck. But he noticed his sister shivering upon this.

"Are you sure it's ok?" he asked Kurt. Kurt lifted his head and looked at Sebastian with the same affection look earlier.

"I'm sure Seb, just relax a little ok?" he said to him smiling assuringly. "Come , sit on the bed. Your hands are shaking."

And Sebastian just did what Kurt said. He wasn't used to being told what to do, but words had such a power on Sebastian when uttered by Kurt. He was aware of the knowing looks Cathy was giving him, but chose to ignore her.

Sebastian just sat at the table and watched Kurt changing the washcloths at regular intervals at the same time chatting about anything and everything with Cathy animatedly. When they were dwelled on their common obsession, Grey's Anatomy, he couldn't help snorting loudly. Kurt looked at him disbelievingly.

"What?" Sebastian asked. "I don't get it. All they do fight, kiss and make up and then fight again. It should be more about hospital than relationships." Kurt chuckled and looked at Sebastian as if he caught him red-handed.

"Again Seb! Your having an idea about it speaks volumes. But don't worry, not everyone is cut out for romance. You go, watch House MD. I'm sure you'll be at least a practitioner before the final episode." Kurt answered smiling. Sebastian just rolled his eyes , scrunched his nose and ignored what Kurt said. He saw Cathy's eyes began to fall. He moved closer and checked his temperature again. It was considerably lower than earlier. He smiled at Kurt brightly and rewarded with one of his amazing smiles in return.

"We should let her sleep. Come on." He said to Kurt, standing from the bed. Kurt did the same and they left the room closing the door silently behind themselves.

After they wished good night to Miranda, Sebastian took Kurt to his room. He realized Kurt was glancing around with an observable interest and glad to see he was looking approvingly. He then looked at Sebastian with the some kind of warmth on his eyes.

"Are you ok?" he asked Sebastian softly.

"Now that you're here, I'm." Sebastian answered honestly. "Thank you." He added looking at Kurt's eyes directly.

"Anytime." Kurt said sincerely taking his phone from his pocket. "Now I have to call my dad, can I use the bathroom?" he asked.

"No, you talk here. I'll go and bring some more blankets." Sebastian said and went to the guest room to gather the necessities for the night. He could have offered Kurt the guest room as well, but the idea of sleeping in the same room was too tempting to miss.

When he was back Kurt was looking at his dvds on the shelf near the door.

"There is some missing in your James Bond collection." Kurt said to Sebastian without looking at him.

"My stupid sister borrowed them a while ago and now doesn't have a clue about where they are." Sebastian answered and Kurt laughed softly. Sebastian then went to his closet and pulled some sweatpants, pyjama tops and t-shirts.

"I don't know what you wear while sleeping." Sebastian said nervously. "Here are some options though." Kurt turned to him and smiled at his nervousness. He walked toward the bed and chose gray sweatpants and a white t-shirt.

"They'll do just fine." Kurt said to Sebastian heading to the bathroom. Sebastian also changed into some sweatpants and a Dalton Academy t-shirt. Then, he laid the sheet and the blanket on the coach and hopped on it covering himself with the blanket. He turned to look at Kurt when he heard the door opened. And he hardly caught his breath because Kurt was wearing his clothes for god's sake and he was the hottest thing Sebastian had ever seen.

"You can..uhm. . take the bed, I'm good here." He said to hear and did he have to sound so weak? Kurt looked at him surprisedly.

"Oh.. No Seb, I'll just sleep on the coach. You don't have to-"

"Just cut it out Kurt!" Sebastian interrupted. "Go, get into the bed and I'll turn the lights off." Sebastian told him and Kurt obeyed Sebastian pouting adorably getting in the bed daintily.

When Sebastian finally turned the lights off and put his head on his pillow, it hit him that Kurt was laying a few feet away from him. He was sure he was going to get the most peaceful sleep of his life by sinking into sleep while listening Kurt's breathing. As he was again trapped in his fantasy world, he was startled to hear Kurt's whisper.

"Hey Seb?"

"Yeah?" Sebastian answered whispering too.

"You know what I think?" Kurt asked silently.

"What?" Sebastian questioned.

"I think that you're one of the nicest people I know." Kurt answered.

"Huh?" Sebastian couldn't literally find a word, because seriously nice? Sebastian?

"Yeah. And I feel special to see this side of you" Kurt said happily and Sebastian's heart was so warm all of a sudden.

"You feel right." was what came out from Sebastian's mouth before he took time to think.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

To need someone… It was such a distant concept for Sebastian. He could do just fine without anyone particular by his side. If one of the people in his life happened not to be in it, life would go on as usual. Because apart from his small family, no one, not his classmates, not his one night stands or even his only childhood friend, James, was irreplaceable. Well that was before… Before Kurt-as cheesy it might sound- came along in his life.

It was hard to accept he had feelings for him. But what was harder was to face with the fact that he had no fucking idea why he would smile without Kurt being a part of his life. Any part of it…Yes it was a shame that part entailed only friendship right now, but Sebastian could live with that as long as he got to be with him. He knew inside he was having it bad because he didn't even care if he was being pathetic. He just…needed Kurt. He needed to see him smile or hear him laughing or talking about anything or just watch him being his gorgeous self and looking at Sebastian with his big, blue eyes. He needed him. Simple as that. No need to elaborate.

After he spent that night with Kurt who did his best to be there for Sebastian, his feelings grew somewhat deeper. He knew Kurt was hot and everything-he had eyes after all-but now, he also knew Kurt was a beautiful person. A beautiful person who was gifted with seeing beauty in everything he set his eyes on. This new realization was doing nothing but making Sebastian want Kurt more.

But sadly for now, he had to settle for his friendship and try to slide around when Kurt asked him about _the someone_ Sebastian met. _He isn't ready for a relationship and I don't even know if I can do relationships _he had said to Kurt when he didn't stop questioning. And it wasn't a lie in the slightest. Sebastian was never a relationship guy before and Kurt was still dealing with _Blaine stuff _and right now he was doing everything not grimace when Kurt was telling him about Blaine's texts or his endless requests to stay friends.

"Do you think it is a good idea?" he couldn't help asking Kurt when he told him they were going to sing a duet together at the Glee club to give this staying friend thing a try. Sebastian didn't like this at all but he was smart enough to keep it to himself. Kurt bit his bottom lips while thinking about Sebastian's answer-_Not helping at all- _and took a sip from his coffee.

"Well, I don't know yet. We'll see, I guess. I just want to make things better between us." Kurt said looking at Sebastian to see if he got where he was coming from. But no, Sebastian didn't get it at all.

"Why are you trying anyway? Don't you remember why you are in this situation in the first place?" Sebastian asked trying to sound as objective as possible.

"I told you before Seb. People make mistakes. And in our case, that mistake was made with some twisted good intentions. So I just want…I don't know I want to forget and leave this whole mess behind me." Kurt answered Sebastian softly.

"Just so you know if you make a mistake once, it is experience. But if you make it twice then it means you are stupid." Sebastian mumbled, looking away from Kurt who, surprisedly, chuckled upon this.

"I'm quite sure you quoted it wrong. But anyway," Kurt said laughing softly. "I get what you meant. This isn't about me giving my ex second chance because I don't believe second time would make any difference regarding our relationship. I'm just…I went through a lot last year and even before we were together, Blaine was always there for me. He was my best friend and I'm giving this a try for that Blaine." Kurt told Sebastian clearly.

"Well, I'm just saying." Sebastian said lifting his hands in the air as if he did his best to warn Kurt. "But this is your-"Sebastian's sentence was interrupted by a buzz from Kurt's phone on the table. Kurt motioned him to finish it, but Sebastian just shrugged, so Kurt muttered sorry before taking his phone to check it.

"It's Blaine. He is waiting for me at the parking lot. You picked up me from home so I don't have my car with me." Kurt informed Sebastian after lifting his head from his phone. "I would ask you to come and watch our duet but I don't know how Blaine would react after this, you know, photo thing." Kurt said nervously.

"Nahh..It's ok. I'm not sure I want to see him anyway." Sebastian answered.

"You don't have to be angry with him Seb. He did nothing to you." Kurt said to Sebastian looking confused.

"He made you cry!" Sebastian stated a little harshly. "And you are my _friend. _I don't know you but I don't happen to like people that make my friends cry." Sebastian added and couldn't help pouting slightly. And Sebastian could hate Blaine forever if that meant Kurt would smile at him like that.

"I have already one Rachel Berry in my life but at least you are adorable." Kurt said to him chuckling.

"Adorable? Was that supposed to be a compliment?" Sebastian asked, praying god and all the other mystic beings not to blush.

"People can be both hot and adorable at the same time Seb, don't worry. And you, my friend, are adorable too." Kurt said Sebastian amusedly and patted his nose before standing from his chair. And if that was anyone else, Sebastian would have already punched him on the face. But it was Kurt and all Sebastian did was to make a wry face. With another from his buzz, Kurt grabbed his things from the table.

"Ok, I got to go. Wish me luck." Kurt said Sebastian winking. Sebastian just looked away and said "yeah,sure" which made Kurt stop moving away.

"Sebastian." He said softly. Sebastian loved it when Kurt used a nick name but he was always affected by the way his name sounded from Kurt's mouth.

"What?" he asked a little snappishly.

"You are mad at me." Kurt said simply.

"Am not." Sebastian uttered, but Kurt just looked disbelievingly. "Really, Kurt. Everything is fine, ok? Come on. Don't make him wait." He said trying to sound sincere.

"Ok then. I'll text you when I'm done. Would that be ok?" Kurt asked and Sebastian just looked at him like it was already the most natural thing to do.

"Of course. Now go. Have fun." He said pushing Kurt's arm lightly.

"Thanks. Say hi to Jeff for me." Kurt said before heading to the front door.

Sebastian watched him getting out of the café and walking towards the parking lot but before he made it there, he spotted Blaine in front of Kurt. They stopped just across the window Sebastian was sitting. He saw Blaine greeting Kurt waving his hand and laughing at something while Kurt was wrapping his arms around himself. Then Blaine stopped laughing and took off his scarf from his neck. Sebastian watched him hesitating before moving to wrap it around Kurt's neck. He felt all the blood in his veins was drained immediately. And when he saw Blaine's hands rested on Kurt's shoulder to _smooth _the scarf, he squeezed his coffee so tightly that it tore apart and all the coffee in it ran out.

Soon after, Kurt and Blaine disappeared from his sight and all Sebastian wanted to do was to go after them and break every bone in Blaine's hands that touched Kurt minutes ago. Sebastian felt like he couldn't breathe, like there wasn't enough air to take. Inside his throat was a fire burning his whole body. What he was experiencing right now was a brand new feeling for him; jealousy.

You could say there was nothing to be jealous of or he had no claim on Kurt to be jealous of him, but Sebastian wouldn't give a shit to what you said. Not when he was living with those feelings for Kurt every day.

Sebastian forgot about time concept after he rushed out of Lima Bean and drove directly to Dalton at an excessive speed. Even Jeff made no comment when he saw his face and decided to leave him alone in their room. He took off all his clothes in a haze and threw himself to the bathroom. He didn't know how long he had been under the hot water when his phone beeped to inform he had a new message.

"_Hey Seb. Just came home. The duet was awesome. We sang 'The Hardest Part' by Coldplay. And I feel like Blaine and I can be friends again."_

Because Sebastian was looking forward to hearing how _awesome_ time Kurt spent time with Blain! He felt the same fire burning in his throat.

"_So?" _he typed only. He was being mean but he didn't want to be a liar and tell Kurt how glad he was to hear that.

"_So I feel happy and just want to share it with you." _

"_How nice!" _Well mind you, but Sebastian was far far away from being nice and share sentimental texts with Kurt when all he could think about Blaine's hands on him.

"_Oh! The asshole is back. Later Sebastian." _

If Sebastian didn't already feel like crap, that text had the potential to make him feel so. Maybe he was being an asshole again. Yes, he was being an asshole. But right he couldn't bring himself to care. What was he supposed to do anyway? He was falling for someone for the first time in his life and even that wasn't enough, now he had to deal with this devouring feeling. He knew he would apologize eventually, but right now wasn't the right time.

After an on and off sleepless night, Sebastian was still feeling like crap but this time the guilt of making Kurt hurt again was added to his burden. He sent at least a dozen of texts saying how terribly, awfully, extremely sorry he was which were unfortunately left unreturned. And Sebastian was so freaking wrong when he thought he couldn't feel any worse.

He knew very well that he shouldn't have taken out it on Kurt. Or at least he should have just ignored the text until he cooled down. When his 20 something text was still unreturned, he got out of his room and left Dalton without joining his Warbler practice. After spending an hour at a shopping mall in Columbus, he typed a quick text to Kurt.

"_Will you please meet me at Starbucks and listen to me apologize at least a hundred times for being an asshole again? At 18:00. Please come." _

Sebastian didn't wait for the answer, just drove there and ordered his coffee and a cinnamon roll. He paid for Kurt's skinny mocha too, but told the barista to wait until he showed up-if he ever would show up-

It was 18:05 when Sebastian started to check his phone constantly. He was nervous as hell and drinking his third cup of coffee. But when he lifted his head and saw him behind the glass door of the café, it was all worth it. He felt the warmth spreading in his body instantly. He watched Kurt come in and go to order his coffee. He saw the barista shove the money Kurt was thrusting him and say something. Kurt, then, looked at the table Sebastian was sitting and locked his eyes with him for a while. Sebastian just did the same, stared at the beauty a few feet away from him without breathing.

When Kurt finally moved closer to the table, Sebastian didn't give Kurt a chance to sit. He instantly stood from his chair and threw his arms around Kurt's shoulder. It wasn't something he planned to do, but right now all he wanted to do was to feel him there. He noticed Kurt stiffened at first, but relaxed into his embrace later. Sebastian mumbled sorry at least ten times before Kurt pushed him back a little chuckling. Sebastian stopped mumbling then and joined Kurt's laughter immediately. And it was so nice to see Kurt smile again.

"Thanks for the coffee." Kurt said softly once they sat at their chairs.

"Anytime." Sebastian replied.

"So." Kurt began. "To what do I owe your _bad temper_ this time?" he asked looking slightly amused. Sebastian smiled weakly in return.

"To my being myself, I guess." Sebastian answered missing his eyes. "I'm sorry Kurt." He added after a while finally looking at Kurt. Kurt looked at him with an affectionate smile and put his hand on Sebastian's.

"Sebastian." He said softly. "I know this friendship thing is kind of new for you. But if you need space, just tell me, ok? I'll really get it, I promise. And I know you didn't intend to be mean but it broke my heart because I care I about you." Kurt finished his sentence never missing his eyes. Sebastian felt his heart skipped so many beats when Kurt said to him he'd cared about him and Sebastian was using his all willpower not cup his beautiful face and kiss him senselessly.

Instead of answering Kurt, Sebastian pulled his hand back and took a white gift box from the chair next to him. He put it on the table and shoved it slightly to Kurt who looked at him questioningly.

"Just open it." Sebastian whispered.

"You bought me a present?" he asked excitedly and when his eyes spotted the bold black letters forming a pretty name-Marc Jacobs- his mouth made a number of oh sounds. He took the ribbons off gently and opened the box. There was an onyx printed scarf colored in grey and blue. Sebastian saw Kurt's eyes lightened up immediately and a beautiful smile found its place on his mouth. One smile and Sebastian was on the top of the world. Kurt lifted his head from the table and found Sebastian's eyes with utmost affection.

"Seb…" he said softly. "This is so amazing. But you didn't have to buy me anything. I'd forget about it anyway." But Sebastian just shrugged like it wasn't a big deal and took the scarf from the box. He leaned forward to Kurt and wrapped it around Kurt's neck gently while looking at the shining blue eyes all the time. When he completed his task, he leaned closer and whispered in Kurt's ear;

"When you're cold again, just wear this, ok?"

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Kurt looked at Sebastian with wide eyes when he pulled back from him and seated himself at his chair again. It was clear he was trying to make sense of Sebastian's words but somehow he also looked pleased.  
"I'll wear this at every opportunity Seb, thank you again." He said to him at last.  
"I'm glad you liked it." Sebastian answered smiling. Kurt smiled back and took his phone from the table. After checking something, he looked at Sebastian nervously.  
"Do you want to come over tonight? We're making a movie night with some of the new directions and before you ask it's not a chick movie." Kurt said to Sebastian smiling expectantly.  
"Oh..." Sebastian said. Of course he wanted to go. He would go anywhere to spend time with Kurt but the presence of others made him kind of nervous.  
"What are we going to watch then?" He asked in the end. Kurt beamed at him immediately.  
"The Lord of the Rings trilogy" he answered smiling knowingly. "I know it isn't my cup of tea but i can appreciate the view at least." He said chuckling.  
"Oh Aragorn! i get it." Sebastian teased him.  
"Nahh.. He is hot too but elf beauty fascinates me more." Kurt replied and Sebastian couldn't help likening Kurt with his angelic features to one of those. When he looked at Kurt to tease him again he saw he was biting his bottom lip as he always did when he was nervous.  
"What is it?" Sebastian asked.  
"Oh it's just... I invited Blaine too because you know we're trying this friendship thing and he's in the new directions so I felt like I should have asked him too. I know you don't want to see-"  
"It's ok Kurt, just calm down a little." Sebastian had to interrupt Kurt as he was rambling nervously.  
"Oh is it?" Kurt asked relievedly.  
"Yes I don't want to see him. But I'm not leaving you alone with him either." Sebastian answered with a strange determination in his voice.  
"I swear you're just like Rachel Seb. Blaine isn't a serial killer or something." Kurt said a little snappishly but he was also smiling so Sebastian just shrugged and smiled back.  
They left the cafe soon after as Kurt told Sebastian he needed to do a little shopping for the snacks. They took Kurt's car after Kurt promised Sebastian to drop him there to pick his car next day. The drive to Lima was mostly fun. They sang every song that came up in the radio together. Sebastian made Kurt cry from laughing with his impression of Gollum and Sebastian could say preciousss a thousand times if he got to hear the cutest sounds Kurt made while laughing. Kurt asked about _the someone_ again but Sebastian managed to distract him by starting a Lady Gaga song.  
When they finally arrived at Kurt's house after a quick pit stop at the market, Sebastian was already having a great time. They were preparing the snacks together when Finn and Rachel joined them in the kitchen. Finn greeted Sebastian with a closed fist and Rachel smiled at him sincerely. When Kurt and Finn took the popcorn bowls to the living room where they were going to watch the movie, Rachel moved closer to Sebastian and whispered in his ear;  
"Keep an eye on him tonight ok?" Well Sebastian was surprised to hear that but he would be lying if he said he wasn't pleased by Rachel's choosing him over the hobbit.  
"Don't worry." He replied smiling assuringly.  
The snacks were ready, blankets and some pillows were dropped on the coach and the dvd was put on the player by the time the members of new directions started knocking on the door. They seated themselves on the coaches after greeting everyone and Sebastian noticed they were actually happy to see him. And the inevitable happened of course. Blaine appeared on the door soon after with his loving smile for Kurt on his mouth. Sebastian tried not to make an eye contact with him to prevent some terribly unpleasant images from popping in his mind.  
With the familiar music the movie started and after taking a bowl full of cinnamon cookies-made by Kurt of course- Sebastian seated himself between Kurt and the dolphin girl Brittany. He was aware of Blaine's stare and returned it with his most pissed of glare. After a while Santana pulled the blonde girl next to her on the carpet and Sebastian instantly took her place by standing his back against the arm of the coach and once he made himself comfortable, he leaned forward to Kurt and pulled him to his chest. Kurt's reaction was instant. He jumped and turned back to Sebastian with the most surprised face Sebastian had ever seen. But Sebastian didn't let him go and smiled.  
"What are you doing?" Kurt asked silently. Sebastian brought his face closer to Kurt's ear and whispered;  
"Somebody is supposed to think we're together, right?" He pulled himself back just to look at Kurt's eyes. He looked at Sebastian for a while owlishly and then smiled softly mouthing okay silently.  
When Kurt finally seated himself against Sebastian's chest, Sebastian let out a relaxed hum and smiled against Kurt's soft hair. And now Blaine was looking at them like they killed his little kitten. But Sebastian would be damned if he cared in the slightest. He noticed Rachel also looking at them but her eyes were shining with amusement. Sebastian gave her a soft smile and in return she winked at him. Ok this Berry girl wasn't bad at all.

When Kurt turned his back again to watch the movie and let himself to flesh against Sebastian closely, Sebastian noticed he had never felt that peaceful before. The presence of Kurt on his chest, his intoxicating vanilla smell, the softness of his hair touching Sebastian's neck, the noises he made while admiring Orlando Bloom…They were all making Sebastian dizzy with too much happiness, comfort, peace, affection…

Sebastian dropped one of his hands on Kurt's stomach while the other was still feeding himself with cinnamon rolls. After he took a bite from that piece of heaven, he absent-mindedly brought the half of it to Kurt's mouth. He realized what he did only when he felt the impossibly soft lips of Kurt brushing his finger and the other half of the cookie found its way to his mouth all of a sudden. Well, they just shared a cookie like it was the most natural thing in the world and wasn't that the cutest thing ever. Sebastian put the bowl on the carpet after that and let his other hand drop on Kurt's stomach too. He brought his hands together and pulled Kurt to himself tighter. Kurt just snuggled closer to Sebastian and let out a chuckle upon Gollum's schizophrenic conversation. He then, turned his face to Sebastian and smiled amusedly.

"I think you'd be a so much better Gollum." He whispered. The closeness of his face, the hotness of his breath on Sebastian's face, the lowness of his voice… God! Sebastian could do anything to kiss him right there.

"I think you'd be a so much better Legolas." He replied silently looking at Kurt's eyes sincerely. Kurt returned his stare with an additional redness on his edible cheeks and a beautifully shy smile. Sebastian didn't remember how long they just looked at each other smiling like idiots before Kurt returned his previous position. Everything was too overwhelming, but for the first time Sebastian couldn't mind the muchness of anything. He even wanted more. He wanted to feel everything. He wanted to be drown into those feelings. He let himself feel so much already and now he wanted all of it. He put a soft kiss on Kurt's hair and sighed deeply. He had a really long way to go for that.

He looked around the living room and saw Rachel on Finn's lap already drifting off to sleep while Finn was busy to fill his mouth with a couple of oreos. Santana took Brittany under her arms and was playing with her hair while Brittany was looking at the screen with wide questioning eyes. Puck was hushing Queen to listen to what Aragorn was telling his men. And his eyes spotted Blaine of course. He was watching the movie while talking with Sam silently between whiles. Sebastian noticed he was also looking at their side occasionally and it was clear he was trying to ignore Sebastian's glares whenever he caught him looking.

Sebastian couldn't help thinking about how everything changed since the day he met these two guys. He did try to steal Blaine from Kurt for god's sake! He remembered mocking Kurt about his NYADA application and felt terrible. There were other things coming to his mind also; taking Blaine to Scandals, driving him to Kurt's and delivering him with his own hands, his stupid stupid mission to make Kurt's smile disappear…They were all bad memories now but the worst ones belonged to the times when Kurt and Blaine were _KurtandBlaine. _He felt sick every time he remembered Kurt's fond and loving smile for Blaine or the butterfly kisses between their conversations. Blaine was the silliest man ever to lose a guy like Kurt. How could he dare to make Kurt choose? How could he let him go that easily? How could he stand hurting him like that? It was ok if Sebastian couldn't get any answer at all because he was so grateful that Blaine was an idiot and made those mistakes. He could have thanked Blaine for being the selfish bastard he was if he hadn't caused those sad tears on Kurt's beautiful eyes.

They were almost through the Two Towers when Blaine stood up to pick up his phone. Two minutes passed and Blaine reappeared in the living room with a displeased expression on his face. He took his coat from the hanger and motioned Finn to pause the movie.

"I'm sorry to interrupt but Cooper called and he, uhmm, he came home tonight to _surprise _us and wanted to see me. So I got to go, I guess." He said looking mostly at Kurt all the time. Kurt smiled at him without moving from where he was.

"Ok then, I'm sure we'll watch this again anyway." Kurt said to him softly. "And say hi to Coop." he added. Blaine smiled back him sadly and after saying goodbye to everyone, took his leave.

A few minutes later Blaine's leave, Sebastian felt Kurt pulling away from him and held him tighter instantly. But Kurt again tried to move away and when Sebastian didn't let him, he turned to face him. He looked at Sebastian. Questions could be easily read from his face, questions that Sebastian had no idea how to answer. Sebastian smiled at him as if he had no idea what he was questioning. His hands were still wrapped around Kurt's slender waist and he had no intention to break away from the warmth of Kurt's body.

"Seb?" Kurt asked softly. Sebastian looked into the depth of his eyes for a while and wondered if Kurt could see through him. He brought his right hand to Kurt's neck and pulled his face closer to his.

"Stay." was all he said to Kurt's ear silently. There were a lot of unsaid things behind that one word though. It was "I like you" Sebastian couldn't say in one way or another. It was "I care about you" Sebastian admitted long ago. It was "I can't stand seeing you with him." Sebastian couldn't help thinking over and over again. It was "I need you" Sebastian felt deeply with every fiber of his being.

He didn't know if Kurt got any of this. It didn't matter anyway. It was the first time Sebastian opened himself that much and didn't feel scared by that. Because at that moment he knew that as long as Kurt smiled at him like that he could go along with anything.

"I will." Kurt whispered after a while, his warm smile still visible. And Sebastian would do just anything to know if that answer had anything behind itself also.

That was nice but couldn't compete with what Kurt did next. He took Sebastian's hand from his waist and interlaced their fingers on his stomach. Who knew holding one's hand would make Sebastian the happiest guy on the planet. Sebastian could die in that moment and wouldn't feel sorry for it. In that moment he had everything he needed. And if he would have to confess his feelings for Kurt in near future, he was sure it would be a different "L" word other than "like".

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Spending one night, exactly 12 hours, 48 minutes, holding Kurt among his arms and drifting off to sleep like that was what made it really difficult for Sebastian to have a proper sleep without Kurt anywhere near him. Waking up to that perfection in front of him, seeing Kurt snuggled under his arm sleeping peacefully…what was heaven, if that wasn't?

And now he was in his own bed, yawning tiredly because of his second sleepless night and dreaming about that wonderful feeling. Sebastian was now aware that he wouldn't hold himself much longer. He just needed to be in the right place at the right time for that.

But for tonight, he would have to be the perfect host of the traditional New Year party his parents were having and to which of course he invited Kurt. That would also be an opportunity to introduce Kurt to his parents, to his mum especially as Kurt just didn't shut up about how excited he was to meet her.

Normally, Sebastian didn't take part in those kind of family organizations but this time his mother said they could throw an alternative party and enjoy themselves at the pool house with his and Cathy's friends after welcoming everyone with them. So Sebastian considered that fair enough and invited also Rachel and Finn. Cathy's friends would also be there and Sebastian was sure some of the younger guests would want to join them instead of sipping their champagne politely with their parents. So it could be fun and besides, he would get to meet New Year with Kurt.

As he had told Kurt to come earlier to meet his parents, he got out of his bed to take a shower and get rid of his sleepy head. He let out a content sigh when warm water hit his body. Tonight was going to be …interesting. He, for one, would join his parents for a family tradition. He would introduce a boy for whom he had really strong feelings to his parents and at the end of the night he wouldn't be enjoying himself with a stranger at one of the bathrooms of a club. Yeah, it would be the night of many firsts.

He stood in front of his closet for a while after drying himself with a towel and throwing it on his bed-he wasn't self-conscious at all, you could say that-. When he still couldn't decide what to wear, he went to play some music on his iPod. The deep voice of Lana Del Rey filled the room and Sebastian took a long breath to relieve his visible stress. Numerous shirts, sweaters, even vests later-well, he wasn't a suit guy after all- he decided to wear a white button-down shirt fitting all the right places perfectly and a sinfully tight, ripped gray jeans showing off his long, muscular legs. After bathing with his Christian Dior cologne, he blew-dry his hair, making it look naturally wild and threw a black, cashmere cardigan over his shoulders. When he looked at the mirror, a satisfied grin was already placed on his face, he looked hot, thank you very much and he definitely looked dressed to impress, so what?

As soon as he heard the doorbell, he rushed downstairs to meet Kurt before everyone else. He grinned automatically when he saw no one around.

"Hey there." He said after opening the door and smiling at Kurt who was looking like coming straight out of a fashion show, as usual sexy as hell. Kurt smiled back but there was something in his eyes, something that Sebastian was so used to seeing in others, but not in Kurt's eyes; admiration.

"Hey to you too." Kurt answered after a while shaking his head and leaning closer to give Sebastian a hug.

"You look, uhmm, nice." He said after releasing himself from Sebastian.

"Please, I look smoking hot and you know it." Sebastian teased. "You aren't bad yourself." He added laughing softly. "But come on in, there are people for you to meet." He tugged Kurt's arm lightly and leaded him to the huge living room.

Sebastian saw his mother, Sophie Smythe, sitting on an armchair legs crossed and typing something on the IPad on her lap. Cathy was also engrossed in whatever her mother was writing on it. They both turned to face Sebastian and Kurt when they heard the door open. His mother smiled graciously before standing and Sebastian felt proud to see Kurt's eyes widen upon seeing his mother's elegant beauty. Yes, to Sebastian, his mother was a goddess living on the earth.

"Hey mum. This is Kurt Hummel. My friend I told you before. As you can see from the excessiveness of his clothes, he's _very_ into fashion." Sebastian introduced Kurt teasing him a little to soften his own nervousness. "And Kurt, this is my mum, Sophie Smythe."

"It's a shame your taste in fashion isn't genetic Mrs. Smythe." Kurt said to his mother smiling politely and thrusting his hand. "Pleasure to meet you."

His mother shook Kurt's hand and eyed him from head to toe with a visible approval before speaking.

"Your shirt is Ralph Lauren. Your pants are Burberry. You're wearing the latest Armani dress shoes. And you're not holding back against my son. Pleasure is all mine, young man." Sophie spoke softly with her slight French accent smiling at Kurt. "Marry him already Sebastian." She said to Sebastian teasingly.

Sebastian saw Kurt chuckle upon the horrified look on his face before Cathy threw her arms around him.

"Kurt! I told you mom would adopt you, didn't I?" She said to him laughing. "I'm so glad you came. I missed you." Sebastian saw Kurt hugging her back tightly and smiling sincerely.

"Hey Cathy." Kurt replied laughing at her enthusiasm. "I think I missed you too." Sebastian watched them with big eyes and tried to ignore his mother's attempt to give him a thumbs-up behind Kurt.

Soon after, his father also made his presence and noticed Kurt between his wife and daughter trying to answer both of them while they were constantly talking at the same time. His father looked at Sebastian amusedly and in return; Sebastian just shrugged and mouthed _crazy _to his father.

"So I'm here to rescue this young man from you ladies?" His father asked laughing at their startled expression when they hear his voice all of a sudden. Sebastian saw Kurt standing from his seat almost immediately and smiling at his father.

"Hello Mr. Smyhte. I'm Kurt Hummel, Sebastian's friend." Kurt introduced himself thrusting his hand.

"Benjamin Smythe." His father replied, shaking Kurt's hand warmly. "Do you have any relation with Congressman Burt Hummel, Kurt?" As soon as his father asked that, Sebastian saw Kurt's eyes lit up instantly.

"Actually, he's my father sir." Kurt answered smiling politely.

"Oh! Then I'm glad to say we voted for him and it's good to see he's meeting our expectations." Sebastian father said sincerely. Kurt looked as if he couldn't be happier.

"I'm honored to hear that, sir." Kurt replied, his smile never disappearing from his beautiful face.

Sebastian spent almost two hours watching his family and Kurt literally bonding and talking animatedly. _Thank God Miranda isn't here; Kurt Hummel fan club would explode otherwise _Sebastian thought. But he couldn't blame them though. Kurt listened to his father intently while he was speaking, praised his car that he saw when he parked his own and lectured a little about why Aston Martinis would always surpass Lamborghinis. He also made comment almost everything in the blog his mother showed him while catching up with Cathy on Meredith Grey's boring love life at the same time. Seriously, it was impossible not to like him.

After completing his task as the son of the part hosts by welcoming every guest with a proper manner and pretending to look he really care about how their day was, they were allowed to go to their own little party. Jeff and Nick had arrived with their parents before and Cathy was already leading her friends to the pool house. When Rachel and Finn finally made their presence, Sebastian asked the younger guests if they would be interested to join them. As he guessed before, almost all of them were willing to do so. But to Sebastian's dismay, Brian with whom he shared a quickie at the back of his car was among them.

The party at the pool house started quiet well, to Sebastian's surprise. Cathy's friend group was extremely loud but fun also and mingling with the rest of the company naturally. Sebastian saw Rachel keeping Nick and Jeff as hostages to interrogate about the Warblers while Kurt and Finn were exchanging amused but fond smiles watching them. Some of the others guests were dancing with a drink in their hands and Sebastian made sure to glare at the blonde guy who now was dancing with Cathy.

When he saw Kurt and the others didn't have anything in their hands, Sebastian prepared bourbon and coke for them, Kurt's was diet of course. Kurt smiled at him gratefully when he handed them their drink. Six of them talked about anything and everything while refilling their drinks all the time for a while. When Nick and Jeff took their leave to dance, Kurt grabbed Rachel's hand to join them. Sebastian noticed Kurt had forgotten about no more than two glasses rule as he already saw him drink his fourth.

Sebastian watched them, talking with Finn between the whiles and mocking their tipsy dance. Well Sebastian was actually worshipping Kurt's hips that he was shaking graciously inside at the same time.

After Sebastian came back from his visit to bathroom, he saw Finn join his girlfriend dancing, no trying to dance- with her. But he couldn't see Kurt near them, so his eyes searched for him feverishly, until he spotted Brian dancing with Kurt, _his Kurt, _grinning widely. Sebastian cursed under his breath and took long breaths to relieve his sudden, heated rage. All that son of a bitch wanted was to get into the pants of his precious Kurt and somebody should have just reminded Sebastian that murder was illegal. Yes, Sebastian used to do the same thing at every given opportunity, but that was B.K. _before Kurt _and he definitely wouldn't allow some jerk to fool around with him.

For the time being, he decided to just watch and see if he would dare to do anything to disturb Kurt. He was literally dying inside to see Kurt having fun with somebody else, somebody that had every dirty intention to have his way with him. But Kurt seemed to be having fun, so he couldn't see the right in himself to ruin that. As long as he was happy, right?

A few upbeat songs later, Sebastian saw Brian's hands were starting to go under the south of Kurt's body and Kurt didn't seem to be pleased with that as he was constantly pulling Brian's hands from himself. Sebastian couldn't stand watching that any longer and walked towards them immediately. He wasted no time to wrap his hand around Kurt's waist and pull him away from Brian's body. Brian looked startled when he saw Sebastian but soon smirked at him devilishly.

"Hey Bastian." He said smugly. "Missed me?" he asked trying to pull Kurt back to himself by grabbing his wrist.

"Oh Seb, where have you been? I looked everywhere for you." Kurt asked confusedly and from the shaking of his voice, Sebastian could say he was one step closer to get wasted. But before he answered him, he slapped Brian's hand on Kurt's and glared at him.

" . put. . ." he said to Brian angrily.

"And why is that?" Brian asked with a defiant look on his face. "We were having quite fun until you showed up, right baby?" he turned to Kurt to direct his question. Sebastian's hands tightened on Kurt's waist upon hearing Brian calling Kurt baby.

"I'm not your baby." Kurt mumbled snuggling closer to Sebastian.

Sebastian pushed Brian's collar with his one hand and looked at him in the eye seriously.

"Don't ever call him that. Don't ever touch him. Don't ever go near him. Don't ever look at the way he is, understand Brian? Or I'll swear I'll beat the crap out of you until you beg me to stop." Brian flinched away from Sebastian's touch and failed his attempt to smirk.

"As much as I want to stay and see how you plan to make me _beg, _I have better things or people to do right now." He said and moved away-no honestly ran away- from them, heading towards a boy with black hair looking awfully wasted. As soon as he got lost out of their sight, Sebastian turned his attention to Kurt again.

"Come on Kurt, let's get you have some fresh air." He said to Kurt, holding him close under his arm and leading them to outside.

"Now take some breath ok?" he asked him gently once the cold air hit their face. But Kurt pulled away from him and walked towards the pool.

"Oh Seb! Your pool is amazing. It's so huge. Is there any fish in it? If there is, I really don't like swimming in it. Because fish tickles me you know, when they cling to my sto-"

With that Kurt was in the pool probably checking if there was really fish in it. He literally was in the pool in this freezing weather and Sebastian rushed there as soon as he got over his shock. He didn't think twice before taking off his shoes and jumping into the pool. He relaxed immediately when he saw Kurt came up to surface also, but Sebastian saw he was still having the effect of alcohol and it was making it difficult for him to swim properly. So he grabbed Kurt's one arm and swam towards the ladder of the pool.

Once they were out of the pool, Sebastian saw Kurt shivering terribly and laughing madly at the same time.

"I fell into a pool! Seb! I never fall anywhere. But I fell into a pool in the middle of the winter. Oh my!" Kurt shouted still laughing hysterically.

"You idiot!" Sebastian snapped. "Are you trying to kill yourself? What if you were too drunk to rise to surface? What if you couldn't swim? What if I wasn't here?" he shouted at Kurt while pulling him his embrace at the same time. Kurt stopped laughing and looked at Sebastian smiling.

"But you're here." He said to him. Sebastian softened immediately against Kurt's stunning smile and put a gentle kiss on Kurt's wet hair.

"Yeah, but you scared the shit out of me." He said smiling back. "Come on, let's change into something not soaked." He leaded them to the house, never leaving his grip on Kurt's waist. Kurt put his head on Sebastian shoulder and was mumbling about how cold he was and how awful his hair must be looking. They passed some surprised people in the hallway and Sebastian literally dragged Kurt to climb the stairs to go to his room.

When they managed to take last step without toppling down, Sebastian tugged Kurt's arm to lead him to his room. But Kurt stopped him holding his hand tightly.

"What now Kurt? Come one we'll freeze to death." Sebastian asked when he stopped in front of him. Kurt looked at Sebastian innocently and pulled him closer to himself wrapping his hands around Sebastian's neck. Sebastian stopped dead and waited to see what the hell Kurt was doing. Kurt just nuzzled against Sebastian's neck and inhaled his smell deeply.

"Kurt?" Sebastian asked trying to ignore the presence of the goose bumps in his whole body.

"Hmm?" Kurt answered brushing his lips against Sebastian's neck which sent shivers to Sebastian's spine instantly.

"Kurt, what are you doing?" Sebastian asked, surprised by the lowness of his voice.

"Smelling you of course." Kurt said like it was the most natural thing. "You smell so nice Seb." He added inhaling deeply again. His one hand was patting Sebastian's shoulder softly. Sebastian had no idea what had gotten into Kurt but it was driving him crazy.

"Kurt_." _He could only say silently.

"Seb." Kurt answered whispering, pulling back slightly to look into Sebastian's eyes.

"You're drunk. Come on." Sebastian stated lowly, still not breaking their eye contact.

"I'm fine." Kurt answered and Sebastian was blown away by the darkness of the blue in Kurt's eyes. They just stared at each other for a while, their soaked clothes long forgotten. When Kurt closed the tiniest space between their chests by stepping further Sebastian felt dizzy. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath.

"You have no idea what you do to me." He whispered against Kurt's face. He felt Kurt shiver upon his words.

"Show me." Kurt replied, his voice was the lowest Sebastian had ever heard.

That was it. Sebastian was a human being after all. So he did it. As soon as his lips touched Kurt's, he exhaled softly. He wrapped his one hand around Kurt's waist, the other holding Kurt's shoulder. Slowly they started to kiss. Sebastian was still trying to hold back but the feeling of Kurt's lip sliding against his was too overwhelming. He made a weak attempt to pull back nevertheless, but Kurt pushed him back with his hand on his neck roughly. The movement made them clash their teeth and that was what made it impossible for Sebastian to fight any longer.

He pressed his lips much harder that before while grabbing Kurt's face almost fiercely. Kurt immediately obliged him, kissing him as deeply as possible. Sebastian went further and tugged Kurt's hair and rewarded with a delicious moan from Kurt. Oh the noises Kurt made. Sebastian was losing his mind. He took advantage of Kurt's moan by sliding his tongue between Kurt's lips to taste him. He was even more delicious than he remembered. He let his tongue explore Kurt's mouth expertly and met Kurt's on the half way.

When Kurt digged his hands further into the back of his neck, Sebastian let out a quiet loud moan and felt Kurt's knees stumbled. So he pushed Kurt towards the door of his room and pressed up him against it without breaking their kiss. He kissed Kurt harder and harder, his hands moving from Kurt's head to his collarbone, to his arms and to his visible skin around his waist. He felt Kurt pulling his one hand from his neck, but before he could protest, Kurt turned the doorknob and Sebastian sighed contently against Kurt's lips stumbling into his room immediately.

Once they stepped inside the room, they both let out satisfied groans as Sebastian pulled Kurt closer rubbing their bodies together. The friction was doing all kinds of amazing things to Sebastian crazy want for Kurt. Sebastian wasted no more time to drag Kurt over his bed and landing himself on top him. As soon as he positioned himself, he began to put open mouthed kisses all over Kurt's creamy skin on his neck.

"Oh, shit. Seb." Kurt was shivering under him letting out sinful moans occasionally making Sebastian aching with want.

"Shh, it's ok baby. " Sebastian said still couldn't believe this was happening. It felt way more incredible than anything he had experienced before.

"You're driving me crazy, you know_." _Sebastian said silently while sucking the delicate skin on Kurt's neck. He felt Kurt panting rather heavily under him and mumbling his name constantly. Sebastian felt like exploding with so much want, passion and, yes, love.

"_God, Kurt! I'm so in love with you_!" Sebastian whispered without noticing what the hell he just admitted. He kept wandering his hands around Kurt's lithe body. But seconds later, he felt Kurt froze under him. He stopped immediately and pulled his head back to look at Kurt who had a shocked expression on his face, breathing heavily. And the realization of what he just said hit Sebastian.

"Fuck!" he said closing his eyes tightly. "Kurt.. I.." There was nothing he could say to complete his sentence. He waited for all that time to reveal what he was feeling about him and let it slip out of his tongue in the heat of making up. And Kurt was still looking at him as if he just saw a ghost. Perfect.

"Sebastian. Can you, uhmm, get off of me?" Kurt asked looking at anywhere but Sebastian.

Sebastian did what he was told like a robot, sitting at the back of his bed. He saw Kurt getting out of the bed instantly, trying to straighten his clothes.

"I think, uhmm, I think I should go." Kurt whispered still missing his eyes from Sebastian.

And Sebastian wanted to disappear. Evaporate. Fall into darkness. Whatever.

He just told Kurt that he was in love with him even before he admitted to himself and the reaction he got was a nervous wreck Kurt wanting to get the hell out of his room immediately._ Just shoot me already _Sebastian thought, but he stood from his bed and told Kurt to wait a second silently. He went to his closet, took some hoodies and sweatpants and put them on the coffee table near Kurt.

"Change before you go." was all he said before disappearing behind the door that was opened with too much passion just minutes ago.

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While Sebastian was lying in his bed, hands under his head, eyes looking blankly, all he thought was _so that is what happens when you let anyone close enough to hurt you._ He was still a complicated mess even though ten days passed since _that _night. He never knew someone could hurt him that tremendously without giving any physical harm or without doing anything at all. But damn, Rihanna was right; he liked the way it hurt.

At first, he didn't feel anything. No anger, no hurt, no disappointment. Nothing. He just felt…empty. By slipping that crucial, stupid sentence out of his tongue, he felt like he had nothing left. Nothing to hide, nothing to admit.

And then anger came. He wasn't angry with Kurt. No, that wasn't the case. He was angry with himself for letting his physical want control his brain. He handled with all these unfamiliar feelings by denying, ignoring or misinterpreting at first, but admitting and embracing in the end. He let himself feel it all without any emotional barrier he normally put between people and himself. And he felt it. All of it. He admired Kurt. He watched him with awe when he was talking, laughing, drinking his coffee. He cared about him. A lot. His chest still tightened whenever he remembered the silent tears falling from his eyes. And jealousy, he felt so jealous of him that he couldn't think clearly. He liked him. God! He liked him so much. He liked the way he smelled, the way his eyes lit up with excitement, the way he glared at Sebastian when he was angry, the way he danced like there was no tomorrow and the way he smiled. Sebastian liked that best. The way Kurt smiled. And he wanted him. Of course. But that was the thing. Normally, Sebastian wanted someone and that was it. He didn't need any other feeling accompany his sheer want. He wanted and got what he wanted. But this time what Sebastian wanted wasn't that easy to get. Don't get him wrong. He still couldn't think straight when he watched Kurt walk swaying his delicious hips, but that was the natural result of the other things he felt. So, it shouldn't have come as a big surprise when he finally got that he was head over heel in love with Kurt. And that was okay. Sebastian knew he would get there eventually. But he was the biggest dumbass to confess what he felt the way he did. It was shallow, crude and definitely uncaring. Yes, he meant exactly what he said but that wasn't the way he wanted Kurt to learn about that. It reminded him of old Sebastian who praised someone to the skies just before orgasm hit him. So he was awfully angry with himself for ruining the potential of a moment that was supposed to be special not superficial.

He would be lying if he said he didn't feel hurt by Kurt's reaction. It hurt him so much. He still felt like shit when he remembered the image of Kurt standing in the middle of his room, arms wrapped around himself, looking shocked, confused and …somewhat scared. Yes, Sebastian never intended to tell Kurt that he was in love with him while sucking his neck, but he never imagined he would get that reaction when he did either. He felt so lonely in that moment. So lonely and hurt.

All these feelings brought disappointment of course. He was disappointed in himself for the reasons he was angry with himself. He was disappointed in Kurt for the way he reacted or not reacted at all. And he was disappointed in the fact that real life sucked and all those romcoms Kurt made him watch promised nothing but false hope.

Sebastian looked at the pink post-it attached on his table lamp by Jeff after interrogating Sebastian for hours what the hell was wrong with him.

"_Sometimes, the best thing you can do is not think, not wonder, not imagine, not obsess. Just breathe. Everything will work for the best." _

Easier said done, how could Sebastian possibly not think about Kurt when he texted him every fucking day. He bent over from his bed to take his phone from the place he tossed away the night before. Maybe he was being sadistic, but he went to his inbox consisting of nine texts he received from Kurt after that night to read them over again. Ten days passed and Sebastian neither saw Kurt nor heard his voice and he was losing his mind. He opened the first text he got on the first day of the year.

"_For the first time in my life, I don't know what to say." _

Sebastian didn't have the slightest idea if that was a good or bad thing. But he never liked when Kurt was nervous to say something to him. And he was afraid that stupid sentence would change the way Kurt treated Sebastian.

"_I want to say I'm sorry. But I don't know what I'm sorry for. I'm just sorry Seb."_

If that was supposed to make Sebastian feel better, no chance. Sebastian remembered throwing his phone on the wall next to Jeff's bed and missed his head slightly after receiving that message. He wished he could have told Kurt that there was no need for him to be sorry, that it was all his fault he couldn't shut his big mouth, but he didn't, couldn't.

"_I've never realized how much I rely on talking to you. It's been three days. You're not talking to me. And I feel…empty."_

_Welcome to my life_ Sebastian thought. Because he was feeling exactly the same. But unlike Kurt, he already knew how much it meant to him. And now, he just couldn't text him back or call and hear his voice. Not yet.

_Fuckk you and yur stuppid cologn! Its all your fault for semelling beautiful! I jsut wanted to kiss you ok? I don't knw why. I just wantd to."_

From the misspelled words and the time of the text Sebastian could say that Kurt had been drinking and he didn't know what to think about the fact that Kurt _just _wanted to kiss him.

"_Are you even thinking about texting back to me? Because I'm losing my mind here. I reached to the level of sending drunk texts already."_

That was sent four days after that night and Sebastian wasn't anywhere near to talk to Kurt. He remembered spending his whole day trying to ignore Cathy's calls and Jeff's stubborn attempts to make him kill zombies with them.

"_I know I told you to tell me if you need space. And now you need it. I get that. But I miss you."_

And Sebastian missed Kurt too. He missed him like crazy. But he had no idea what to do or how to talk with him after all that. He wasn't insecure or he didn't lose his boasting self-confidence all of a sudden. He was just not ready for that, whatever that was.

"_Today, Blaine dedicated a song to me in the club. And when he sang the part 'where did I go wrong? I lost a friend.' all I could think about was you." _

The Fray was one of Sebastian's favorite bands and he loved that song. But the word, friend, stung a little. Just a little. And Blaine dedicated a song to Kurt, just fuck him!

"_Did I really lose you? I never want to lose you."_

Of course the idea of losing Kurt scared him to death too. But the thing was, Kurt was scared to lose a friend while Sebastian was scared to lose everything that made sense in his life. It was after that text, Sebastian got a call from an unknown number. The unknown number turned out to be Rachel who may have stolen his number from Kurt's phone and demanded to know what the hell he did to Kurt. Sebastian wondered what she would have said if he told her all he did was to say Kurt he was in love with him. But instead, he told her that he had no idea and she should have asked Kurt himself and etcetera etcetera. But he felt terrible when Rachel said to him that even she couldn't make Kurt smile any more.

"_Why are doing this Seb? I don't know what to think anymore."_

Sebastian also didn't know what he was doing. He was just dealing with it the only way he knew; by avoiding. What else was he supposed to do anyway? He told Kurt he was in love with him and he freaked out. How relieving, right?

While re-reading these old texts, the buzz of his iphone informed him that he received a new one. And it was of course from Kurt. Because he wasn't already spending every second of his day thinking about him.

"_Please don' hate me."_

This time Sebastian didn't toss away his phone. He didn't punch on his wall either. The situation was dramatic enough, no need make it more. He just stared at the screen of his phone for a while. When ,now, dark screen of his phone didn't give him the answers he wanted, he touched the green phone image. He knew Kurt was at school and probably couldn't answer him, but maybe that was the reason for his sudden courage to talk to him.

"Seb?" God, Sebastian missed that voice which was hesitant and hopeful right now.

"Where are you?" Sebastian asked directly.

"Home?" answered Kurt. Sebastian realized the hopeful tone now disappeared.

"Why aren't you at school?" Sebastian wanted to know.

"Didn't feel like going." Kurt answered softly. Sebastian didn't say anything for a while. He was distracted by the sadness of Kurt's voice too much.

"Seb?" He heard Kurt. "I'm really sorry, you know. And I'm so scared that you won't talk to me again. Please talk to me. I don't even kno-"

"You're an idiot." Sebastian interrupted him as he couldn't stand hearing Kurt rambling about how sorry he was.

"Wha..i..yeah, ok?" Kurt stuttered.

"You are so frustrating and stubborn and you're driving me crazy all the time." Sebastian decided to let it out once he began.

"You promised me to give me space when I need it. But you just didn't stop sending those texts every fucking day when all I tried to do was to forget about you just for a second. And you went further and told me I smelled beautiful or you _just _wanted to kiss me or how much you miss me. It is unfair you know! You say all these things like nothing happened. It's not fair at all. We can't act like I didn't say, uhm..like I didn't tell you _that _..fuck! you know what I said, right?"

"Are you even listening to me?" Sebastian asked when there was a complete silence and no reaction at the other end of the phone.

"Yeah, I'm…I'm listening. I just really missed hearing your voice." Kurt answered calmly.

"Stop doing that!" Sebastian snapped.

"Doing what?

"Stop saying you miss me." Sebastian answered clenching his teeth.

"But it's true. It's been ten fucking days since I saw you. And I missed you so much. I never realized how much you mean to me until you shut me out of your life. And that scared me, you know. I got used to being with you so much that I didn't know what to do when you weren't with me in any way."

Sebastian couldn't say anything. He just let the beautiful voice of Kurt wash his ear.

"Sebastian?" he heard Kurt asking hesitantly when he kept his silence. "Can we please talk?"

Well, Sebastian didn't know, could they?

"Just come to my place after school, ok? Dad and Carole are in D.C and Finn will be at Rachel's. You can shout at me until you lose your voice. But please, come, ok?" Kurt insisted with his do-what-I-say-or-ı-will-start-crying voice.

"Ok." Sebastian could say in the end. Because, seriously he was dying to see him.

"And Kurt?" he asked.

"Yeah?" Kurt answered with so much excitement that Sebastian's lips turned upwards involuntarily.

"I can never hate you stupid."

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Sebastian didn't know what he would have done with that sudden overwhelming urge to see Kurt now that he heard his voice if they hadn't already decided to meet. He even skipped his last two classes to make that happen as soon as possible. Why to learn Roman history when present was so much more exciting, right? He was nervous, though. Like really. He felt like he would lose his virginity all over again. Hell, was he more nervous than that.

He exhaled deeply when he finally pulled into the driveway of the Kurt's house. Ten more steps and he would get to see him, but he felt like he was stuck on his seat. He looked at the little mirror of his car and made some weak attempts to tidy his hair probably trying to remember he had an ability to move. One more deep breath later, he opened the door and got out of his black Corvette.

With each step to Kurt's house, to Kurt, he was trying harder to keep calm. He may even have been giving himself a pep talk but he would deny it if you asked him.

He was getting ready to knock on the door when it flung open and there stood, with his all glamour, Kurt. Sebastian froze for a couple of seconds before walking closer to him. Kurt smiled and stepped out of his way to let him get inside. Once he closed the door, he turned to face Sebastian who was standing two feet away from him. They stared at each other for a while. Sebastian tried to look away and start a proper conversation but embarrassingly enough, the only thing that got out of his mouth was;

"Uhmm , sup?"

Thank God, Kurt giggled upon that or Sebastian would wish the floor just would drop out underneath him.

"This is ridiculous, come here." Kurt said to Sebastian when he put an end to his giggles. But before giving him a chance to go there, he closed the distance between them and threw his arms around his neck. Sebastian hesitated just a second before wrapping his hands around Kurt's slender waist and sighing relaxedly. Man, he missed everything about this familiar warmth and smell. He felt Kurt nuzzle against his neck just like he did _that_ night and stiffened immediately. Soon after, Kurt put a tiny butterfly kiss on his cheek and pulled away from him.

"Hey." He said to Sebastian smiling sweetly.

"Hey yourself." Answered Sebastian, surprised by the fake calmness of his voice.

"So, do you want to drink something before we uhmm, talk? I've just made some coffee." Kurt asked. Sebastian tried not to grimace upon hearing the mention of talking.

"Sure, coffee is fine." He answered trying to look as nonchalant as possible.

"Ok, follow me then. I may have cooked cinnamon rolls for you." Kurt said to him walking away from the door.

"Well you'd better, now that you mentioned." Sebastian replied following Kurt to the kitchen he knew so well. He made a victory sign when he saw the jar full of fresh cinnamon cookies made only for him. He didn't wait for an invitation and opened the jar immediately, because, did he mention that they were a piece of heaven. He heard Kurt chuckle upon his enthusiasm but decided to ignore it and sat at one the chairs in front of the kitchen table. He watched Kurt poring black coffee into two huge mugs and adding some chocolate syrup to one of them. He shoved the one without the syrup to Sebastian.

"Here. All black and no sugar." He said before sitting at the chair right across him. Sebastian muttered a thank you and they just sat in silence for a while sipping their coffee and throwing nervous glances at each other.

"Ok, I'll go first." It was Kurt who broke the awkward silence. "I want to apologize for suffocating you with my texts and uhmm, making things harder for you." He said to Sebastian looking somewhat shy. "But you have to believe me when I tell you I missed you. Because that's my only excuse." He added trying to give Sebastian a weak but sincere smile. Well, Sebastian may have gotten into a trance after hearing Kurt meant what he said.

"No, it's ok." He said after a while. "I probably shouldn't have taken it out on you. I was just frustrated and didn't know what to do." Sebastian stopped to take a breath and looked at Kurt in the eye seriously.

"But Kurt, I'm terribly sorry for the way I told you that, uhmm, that I have feelings for you. It was inappropriate and you deserved so much better. And believe me I never imagined myself blurting out it all while I was sucking your neck." He said looking embarrassed and utterly stressed.

But Kurt smiled at him brightly before standing from his chair and taking a seat next to Sebastian. Sebastian could make no sense with this new adjustment but he tried to catch his breath when Kurt took his hand into his.

"Are you apologizing for the way you told me you love me?" Kurt asked and if Sebastian wasn't captivated by the shining in Kurt's eyes, he would have caught what he just asked him. "You're something else Seb." He added smiling with so much affection.

"Yeah, I mean I didn't plan to do it on a romantic dinner with dim lightning while we're drinking red wine, because obviously that's not me. But at least I could do it when we watch one of the stupid movies you like, or when're at Lima Bean and trying different kinds of coffee or at least when I'm in a position to look into your eyes." Sebastian said missing his eyes. He heard Kurt sigh deeply but refused to look at him.

"Do it now." Kurt said softly. Sebastian lifted his head from his mug and looked at Kurt questioningly.

"Do what?" he asked confusedly.

"Well, now we're drinking coffee, it's not something different, but it is coffee and finally you're looking into my eyes. So tell me now." Kurt said to him looking expectantly. Sebastian took a long breath before speaking, because seriously, he had no idea to where this would get them.

"I don't know if, uhmm, I mean." He trailed off for a second. "Oh screw that! There is no point avoiding this anymore." Sebastian said a little snappishly.

"So, ok. I don't have to say that I've never said this to anyone before, right?" he asked softly, never missing his eyes because it was time to man up and do it right. He waited to see Kurt nod before going on.

"I know I haven't even told you that I'm attracted you. So you may have been surprised to hear that big sentence all of a sudden. But the thing is, it wasn't sudden for me at all. I literally fought with those feelings before finally acknowledging that I care about you, that I'm crazy about you or that, uhmm, I need you in my life. I knew inside that my feelings were growing deeper but _that _night was the first time I fully understood that," Sebastian stopped for a while and gave Kurt a nervous smile.

"That I'm madly in love with you." Sebastian said in the end releasing his breath that he had no idea he had been holding. He also heard Kurt's breath hitch for a second and the blue in his eyes was never that blue before.

"I don't know how the hell it happened, but you walked into my life, gave me your damn beautiful smile and without doing anything else changed it for the better so much that I just can't imagine going back to the ways things were before you."

Sebastian may have said more than he planned to. But he didn't regret in the slightest. It felt amazing to finally let all the repressed feelings out. This was just the opposite of that night.

"There it is. Mission accomplished." Sebastian said smiling nervously when Kurt didn't say anything except from squeezing his hand with too much pressure.

"I really hope you won't say you should go this time?" Sebastian asked when the silence was kept and he was freaking out slowly. But finally, Kurt's motionless lips turned upwards and gave him a breathtaking smile.

"After ten days, the last thing I want right now is for you to go." He replied softly. "So it's my turn I guess. I have to say that I didn't expect to hear all these things from you. But that was…beautiful. So I don't know, thank you?" Kurt laughed softly.

"Ok, here is the thing. You make me feel, uhm.., things. Things that I can't associate with only friendship. Obviously I don't kiss or want to kiss my friends all of a sudden." He said smiling shyly. " But I'm not sure what exactly they are. I just know that you are …special. This is what I'm sure about. I know that our friendship didn't start in a conventional way. But when you think, what is conventional about you anyway? And I like that about you. You intrigue me and even when I'm mad at you, I can't stay away from you. I like that you can be both the sweetest person and a total asshole at the same time. I like the way you take care of me when I'm upset. And I, uhmm yeah I like how you smell. I don't know if it's weird but I like it anyway." Kurt exhaled deeply before going on his little monologue. "So this is what I feel for you. Like I said, I don't know what this is. But it's nice. The things you make me feel.."

When Kurt trailed off at the end of his long talk, Sebastian was trying to make sense what Kurt just talked about. He couldn't even decide whether he should be happy or not, but there were a lot of mentions of "like" , so it must have been something good, right? He never expected Kurt to be in love with him after all, so he could live with "like".

"I have a question, though?" Kurt continued. "When I asked you about Blaine, you told me that you met someone?" He asked nervously. Sebastian just looked at him with disbelieving eyes.

"I swear you're sillier than I've ever assumed." He snapped. "Seriously Kurt! Here I am telling you that I fucking love you and you can still think that was someone other than you?" he asked increasing his voice involuntarily.

"But you said that he isn't ready and stuff?" Kurt asked timidly.

"Well are you?" Sebastian asked Kurt who obviously didn't get what he was asking. "ready for a relationship?" Sebastian completed his question upon that. Kurt made an "oh" sound and bit his bottom lip nervously.

"Yeah, I thought so." Sebastian muttered silently.

"You also said that uhmm, that you don't-"

"That I don't do relationship?" Sebastian interrupted Kurt seeing he was having difficulty with the question. Kurt nodded silently.

"Well, that's right. I don't." Sebastian explained. "But I thought I don't do love either, look where I am right now?" he asked laughing weakly but decided to go all the way once he began.

"So Kurt, with you I can do anything." He added sincerely. But he realized Kurt got panicked upon his words.

"Don't worry, I know we aren't on the same page right now. I'm fine with being your friend." Sebastian tried to assure. "For now." He added smiling knowingly.

"Oh." Kurt could say. "I like being your friend too." He said. "For now." He added laughing at the surprised expression on Sebastian's face. There it was, the same word again; like.

"I wanted to know one thing though?" Sebastian couldn't help asking because that was something he needed to know even though he was scared to hear the answer.

"Which is?" Kurt asked calmly.

"Do you still love him?" Sebastian asked directly. There was no need to specify who the hell he was. Kurt looked surprised and hesitant for a while.

"I still care about him" He answered sincerely. "But I don't think i love him. At least not in the same way I used to." He added smiling nervously. Sebastian tried not to show how relieved he was to hear that. He didn't expect from Kurt to forget about Blaine completely, but he could be ok with I-love-you-as-my-friend thing.

"Ok then." He said in the end.

"Okay?" Kurt asked looking at Sebastian amusedly. Sebastian noticed he was licking his lips absent-mindedly while waiting for Sebastian to elaborate. He tried not to stare at the pinky, delicious tongue darting out of his mouth and lifted his eyes from they were. Kurt chuckled which gave Sebastian the hint that he couldn't succeed in not staring.

"You want to kiss me." Kurt stated. That was definitely not a question.

"I always do." Sebastian answered honestly.

"Why don't you do it?" Kurt asked, his voice was getting lower with each word. Sebastian tried to collect himself and missed his eyes from Kurt.

"That's not gonna happen until you know why you _just_ want to kiss me."

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Sebastian was one step closer to ultimate happiness. That one step was more up to Kurt than himself but anyway. He had never opened himself that much before, never had needed to do so. But, now, he was feeling the freeing power of not holding back in his every movement. Now, there was no need for fear of revealing his feelings or being caught of staring at the man he love dreamily.

Now, every movement meant something, every look, every word, every touch…He also noticed some changes in Kurt too. Not in the bad way at all. He was more…comfortable. Not that he wasn't comfortable before, but now he never hesitated to give Sebastian a tight hug when they met or put o tiny kiss on his cheek before leaving. They even ended up cuddling while watching _How to Lose a Guy in Ten Days- _Sebastian watched it only becauseMatthew McConaughey was hot- like it was the most natural thing to do.

Sebastian didn't know how much more he could feel if Kurt happened to return his feelings, because right now he was quite ok with everything they did together. Well, he wouldn't mind getting to kiss Kurt whenever he wanted which was every fucking time he set his eyes on him or wander his hands around every part of his little, sexy body. But he was doing well with restraining these, sometimes unbearable, urges. Because, now, he had something more beautiful than just pure want. Now, he shared something with Kurt, something that he had no idea he could have, something that was never shared with anybody else. And that was more important and yes, more satisfying, than any physical closeness.

But! Of course there had to be some buts, that was life after all. Sebastian was going crazy every time Kurt texted Blaine when he was with him or told him about their new number which Blaine had the lead or anything that included that name in it. Yes, Kurt assured him numerous times that he loved Blaine as his friend and that he was just trying to make things work between them. But regardless, Sebastian now knew how possessive and jealous he could be when it came to Kurt and hated feeling like that. But if you asked him if that was worth it, he could have said hell yes without blinking at once. Because there were some moments that made him forget about everything and everyone. Moments like when they laughed at something until their stomach hurt and fell into silence without breaking their eye contact, just holding each other's gaze and smiling like idiots. Or like when Kurt put his head on Sebastian's shoulder when he was too tired to stay straight- no pun intended-or like when he saw Kurt's face lit up the moment he saw himself or when Kurt texted him just because he missed him and wanted to hear from him. They were small moments, seconds maybe, but Sebastian wouldn't change them for anything.

He was in his last class when he got one of those texts that made his heart skip a beat.

"_I'm coming to get you! Find a way and skip your lacrosse practice please! I need to see you!" _

Well, Sebastian was, like always, thrilled by the fact Kurt wanted to see him or more importantly needed to see him. But he couldn't help his curiosity as to what was that important that couldn't wait until he was done his practice.

"_Sure thing babe! Is everything ok though?" _he replied Kurt's text and pretended to be interested in the equations his math teacher was telling about feverishly.

"_More than ok! But patience! I'll be there in ten.x" _

That answer did nothing but add Sebastian's curiosity. But he noticed something more important than that.

"_Do not text me while driving dummy! I'll see you " _

Thankfully Mr. somebody told the class they were done for today soon after and all Sebastian had to do was to find Charlie, the captain of the Lacrosse team and tell him that he wouldn't be able to honor them with his presence for the practice.

Charlie could be considered as a friend, friend as in Sebastian's terms, but they hit it off _quite _well the moment they met. The funny thing was although they went to same school, _Summerboy_ was the place they first saw and _get acquainted_ with each other. He was fun, easy-going and very into meaningless sex. Sebastian remembered seeing Charlie at school after the night they had a quickie in the bathroom of _Summerboy_. If that was anybody else, the situation had the potential to be awkward, but Charlie just looked at him and said;

"Stalking me now gorgeous?" And that was the moment Sebastian knew they would get along just fine. They had sex a few more times and it was fun when they did it. But that was it. Neither of them tried to make something more out of it.

When Sebastian found Charlie and told him he wouldn't make it to the practice that day, Charlie just smirked at him knowingly and said that it would be only fair if they all put it off all together.

So that was how Sebastian found himself walking towards to parking lot with Charlie and telling him a hundred times that, no he wasn't going to go a wild party and no he wasn't welcome to join him. When he heard that very familiar nick name shouted by Kurt, he stopped in the middle of his sentence and saw Kurt leaning against his black SUV and looking at him with the biggest smile on his face. Sebastian's lips turned upwards immediately and he was sure his eyes were sparkling.

"Shit!" Sebastian remembered Charlie's presence only when he heard him cursing near him. He turned to look at him and saw he was ogling Kurt shamelessly.

"Oh my god gorgeous! You have to share with me!" he said to Sebastian without missing his eyes from Kurt's sight. Sebastian looked at him sharply and literally growled;

" !"

He knew Charlie was just fooling around, but he couldn't help the sudden heat spreading to his whole body.

Before Charlie had a chance to say anything back or Sebastian kept growling at him, Kurt ran towards them and threw his arms around Sebastian's neck. And like that Sebastian melted into Kurt's embrace and forgot about his heated rage from seconds ago. He felt Kurt nuzzling against his neck and inhaling his smell like he always did whenever he hugged Sebastian. Sebastian laughed softly and pushed Kurt back slightly to look at him.

"I know I'm irresistible but seriously babe what brought you here?" he asked Kurt teasingly smiling. Kurt shoved his chest playfully and smiled back.

"Good news!" he exclaimed. "No, great news!" he added chuckling. Sebastian looked at him without saying or asking anything else, just smiling for a while. They were having one of those moments and like every time Sebastian felt his heart was racing. Unfortunately for them, Charlie wasn't having the time of his life and made his presence known by clearing his throat which snapped them out of their moment.

"So you are Sebastian's babe?" Charlie asked Kurt smiling smugly and checking him out obviously. Sebastian wrapped his hand around Kurt's waist possessively upon this and glared at Charlie.

"And you are?" Kurt asked looking at Charlie confusedly and Sebastian hardly caught his breath when Kurt didn't correct Charlie for being his babe.

"He is just a person." Sebastian answered without giving Charlie a chance to introduce himself.

"A person without a name?" Kurt asked him amusedly.

"A person whose name doesn't matter" Sebastian replied looking decisively. Kurt smiled at him upon this but of course it would kill Charlie to let it go.

"Oh why gorgeous, I remember several occasions when all that mattered was my name screamed by you." Charlie said to Sebastian putting his hand on his heart and blinking his eyes dreamily. Sebastian tried hard not laugh at Charlie's hilarious attempt to fake a love-struck look.

"Fuck off Charlie." He said to him but his heart wasn't in it. He saw Kurt looking at Charlie narrowing his eyes and panicked slightly as to Kurt's having wrong assumptions.

"Well I admit it's been a while since you did it, but I can forgive you if he is the reason." Charlie said winking at Kurt who was squeezing Sebastian's hand around his waist.

"He decided that my name sounds better than yours, I guess." Kurt answered Charlie looking at Sebastian and placing a butterfly kiss on his cheek. Oh Jesus must have loved Sebastian because, seriously! Jealous Kurt was way too hot.

"Oh he is feisty!" Charlie said laughing softly. "Anyway, I get that you two aren't in for a threesome so I have lost all my interest here." He added smiling at Sebastian sincerely this time.

"Later love birds." With that Charlie walked away from them and left the _love birds _alone.

Sebastian couldn't hold himself any longer an erupted into laughter. Kurt looked at him pouting and pushing him back from his embrace.

"I just tried to help you Seb. I don't even want to know what you're thinking." Kurt said to Sebastian missing his eyes and playing the hem of his coat.

"You thought I needed help because?" Sebastian asked amusedly.

"You caged me with your hands around me, because?" Kurt asked smirking.

"I have my reasons." Sebastian answered, pulling Kurt into his embrace again.

"So?" Sebastian asked Kurt when he took his previous place among Sebastian's arms without protesting. "What is the great news?" Obviously the question was enough to make Kurt jump with joy instantly. Kurt pulled away from Sebastian slightly, took his both hands and wore his biggest smile.

"I may have gotten my letter from Parsons!" he shouted excitedly. "Anddd…" he said and took an envelope from the pocket of his coat. "And I got in! I got in! Seb I'm going to New York!" Kurt was literally jumping up and down this time and Sebastian hadn't seen anything more adorable than that.

"Of course you are!" He said to him smiling widely at his enthusiasm. "New York had better be ready for us." He added. Kurt stilled his movements and looked at Sebastian instantly.

"What do you mean for _us_?" he asked confusedly.

"Well,I told I'm going to NYU, remember?" Sebastian answered him smiling.

"No, you told me you wanted to." Kurt said looking at Sebastian as if he was trying to read him.

"So? " Sebastian asked laughing at Kurt's confused face. "I told you I was going there because I wanted to." Sebastian said to Kurt who was still looking at him blankly.

"I got my letter two weeks ago babe, no big deal."

"Oh my god! Sebastian! And you thought it wasn't worth telling me?" Kurt asked snappishly but a smile was already forming on his mouth.

"And again, I had already told you I was going." Sebastian replied while grabbing Kurt's wrist to hold him still.

"Ohh, cocky much?" Kurt said to him raising one of his perfect eyebrows.

"No babe, I call that confidence because confidence is sexy." He uttered winking at Kurt seductively. He saw Kurt's smooth cheeks colored immediately and heard him mutter something, something like "Don't I know it?" silently. But soon after, Kurt collected himself and looked at Sebastian with a Kurt original smile.

"So you're coming New York too?" He asked Sebastian.

"Yeah." He answered lost in the intense stare of Kurt.

"With me?" Kurt asked again and Sebastian instantly noticed that he didn't say "like me" but "with me".

"Yes, as long as you want me." Sebastian answered sincerely. Kurt beamed at him then and Sebastian got his answer. Yes Kurt wanted him there.

"Come on, we need to celebrate now." Kurt said breaking away from Sebastian's grip and walking towards Sebastian's car. "You'll buy me cheesecake." Sebastian just watched him swaying his lips in a way that made himself sure he was %100 gay and from the winking he got from Kurt, he was quite aware of that. Sebastian wolf-whistled behind him and muttered a Maroon 5 song;

"_Baby there you go again, there you again_

_Making me love you."_

Kurt chuckled upon this and turned his back to look at Sebastian with a huge grin on his face. Once they got in the car, Kurt came to his senses.

"Shit!" he cursed silently.

"What is it?" Sebastian asked concernedly.

"Oh, nothing. I just have to call dad and inform him about the letter and Rachel would kill me if she didn't hear it from me. Is it ok if I make some phone calls while you're driving?" he asked smiling softly. But Sebastian just looked at him surprisedly for a while before answering.

"You haven't told your dad yet?" he asked. "Or Rachel?" he added, still trying to recover from his surprise.

"Duh, noo.I drove here to see you as soon as I got the letter." He answered like it was the most natural thing to do.

"You wanted me to know first?" he asked.

"Yes." Kurt answered instantly.

"Why?" Sebastian asked because to him, it was something huge. If you had some great news, of course you'd share it with the one you loved most. And yes, he was aware Kurt kind of grew fond of him, but it was shocking to hear that he was the one that crossed his mind first.

"I..uhm, I don't know." Kurt answered after a while. It was clear he was really trying to find an answer. "Honestly I didn't think anything. I just read it and wanted to share it with you immediately." He added and looked at Sebastian as if to ask it was ok. Sebastian answered him by smiling softly and squeezing his hand.

"I'm so glad you did." He said to Kurt. "Now make your phone calls and after that you are mine." He added before starting his car. Just seconds later he noticed what he said and his smile froze on his mouth. He looked at Kurt who was wearing an amazing color of red that Sebastian was already in love with. Without thinking, he took Kurt's hand over the gearshift and brought it to his lips smiling. Kurt blushed deeper, Sebastian smiled harder.

_One day _he thought_, one day I will really make you mine._

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

Somebody should have warned Sebastian. Somebody should have just made him sit and listen how that feeling had the potential to come and bite him in the ass. He was coping with love just fine. But, jealousy? Not a chance. For weeks, he'd been living hell as the stupid name, Blaine, became the constant topic of their conversation with Kurt.

It all started the day Kurt came over to Dalton to tell Sebastian that _Oh my God he got in Parsons. _Kurt, as being his usual enthusiastic self, sent a mass text to everyone in his Glee club saying he would rock New York next year. Of course and unfortunately, Blaine was included to that everyone in the Glee Club. Kurt was still half way through his strawberry cheesecake, when his phone informed an incoming call through the song _We're never ever getting back together. _Sebastian may have changed Kurt's ring tone for Blaine, but he chose to feign innocence when Kurt suspected of Rachel. So he had already known who was ruining their perfect moment by the time Kurt looked at him nervously and told him that _it is…Blaine._

Sebastian just sat there and listened to the bits of conversation Kurt was having with Blaine. He heard something about tomorrow being ok for whatever the hell they were planning to do and cursed under his breath. When Kurt, finally, hung up, he told Sebastian that Blaine just called to _congratulate _him.

Of course, Sebastian couldn't help himself and asked why the hell now Blaine was ok with Kurt's being in New York. It was probably not the best question to ask, as it, inevitably, would bring back bad memories to Kurt. But Sebastian just wanted him to remember anyway, remember who caused all that pain just a couple of months ago. Kurt tensed for just a moment before giving Sebastian a soft smile and telling him to stop worrying about that anymore. And the thing he heard about tomorrow happened to be a coffee meeting with him as Blaine _needed _to talk to Kurt. Oh dear!

Sebastian didn't ask Kurt about what Blaine wanted to talk with him after that day, because obviously whatever it was about was too long to be over in a day. They were meeting almost fucking every day or talking on the phone if they didn't have a chance to meet. Sebastian knew all those things, because Kurt, oh so nicely, told him that he was terribly sorry for calling off their plans, but Blaine needed him for something. Or even when they didn't have to cancel their usual coffee meetings, that stupid hobbit called Kurt and made him listen to his ramblings for a good amount of time which usually resulted in Kurt's saying _"It's gonna be ok. I'm here for you and blah blah." _Problem? Kurt was really there for him. He was _so _there for him that Sebastian missed him even when they were together.

Being his blunt and impulsive self, Sebastian couldn't hide his discomfort about Kurt's spending too much of his time with Blaine. Kurt just apologized for not being able to make time for him as much as he wanted and again, reminded him that Blaine was going through some stuff and he needed him. Perfect. The thing was Kurt made him watch enough amounts of romantic comedies to know that there was no such a thing as staying friends with your ex who obviously still loved you.

Even today, while he was waiting for Kurt to come over for a movie marathon- he convinced him to watch some James Bond movies this time, yay!- he couldn't help but felt some kind of awkward tension ruling his body. Even when his mother asked about his plans for the weekend and Cathy answered for him by saying _"He's waiting for your son-in-love mummy. I advise you to stay away from his room for your mental health." _He couldn't bring himself to laugh.

But love was a strange thing. Because the moment he heard Kurt's voice saying hi to his mum, this time he didn't have to fake a smile as his lips turned upwards almost immediately. And yes, he knew he had it too bad. But what could he do anyway? He loved that guy in a way that even he couldn't understand.

He took a deep breathe to snap out of his dreamy haze when he heard the knock on the door. It was unfair to see how Kurt's eyes lit up the moment they spotted him lying on the bed.

"You're late." He said in a mockingly serious tone while standing up to his feet from his bed and meeting Kurt at the half way. Kurt wasted no time to wrap his arms around Sebastian's shoulders and bury his face on the crook of his neck.

"Missed you." He muttered, quite oblivious to the effect of his breath on Sebastian's neck. Sebastian smelled his familiar vanilla smell deeply and smiled against his hair.

"It's all your fault babe. You are too busy all the time." He was, for once, smart enough not to add "with Blaine" to his sentence.

"I know." Kurt sighed smiling sadly. He broke away from his embrace and looked into his eyes. "I'll make it up to you, promise." He said hopefully. Sebastian just shrugged and took his hand to drag him to his bed.

"Make yourself comfortable. I'll just go and bring ice cream and then we'll watch a _real _movie." He teased Kurt who was rolling his eyes at him in the most adorable way possible.

"Keep saying that honey, but remember I saw how you drooled over Ryan Gosling while watching _Crazy, Stupid, Love._"

"Can't blame a guy for appreciating the view now, can you?" Sebastian replied winking at Kurt before disappearing behind the door of his room.

It had been only ten minutes since they started watching _Casino Royale_-"_because Daniel Craig was the best Bond man Sebastian"_- Sebastian found Kurt's head on his chest and he was snuggling closer to him. Sebastian was living for moments like that already, so he wasted no time to wrap his arms around him like a blanket and pull him closer.

"I missed holding you like this." He whispered in his ear. Kurt turned his back and gave him a damn beautiful, shy smile.

"Yeah, me too." He muttered silently before diverting his gaze on the screen again. If it had been possible, Sebastian, without thinking twice, or at all, just would have frozen the time. Everything was perfect at that moment. Kurt was there and looking as blessed as Sebastian.

Sebastian congratulated himself for not cursing loudly when the voice of Taylor Swift filled the room. Kurt sighed deeply before pulling away from Sebastian's tight embrace. Sebastian just stared at the changing images on the screen without actually seeing them. He really had it enough and couldn't trust himself for not blurting out all the things he kept inside all of a sudden. He noticed Kurt's gaze on him but chose to ignore.

"Sorry, i have to take this." Kurt uttered before answering his damn phone. Sebastian nodded slightly and tried to pretend he wasn't listening.

"Hey."

"Yeah, I'm great actually."

"Oh."

"No, I'm just with Seb. We were watching a movie." With each passing second, Kurt was biting his bottom lip harder and that was never a good sign.

"Sshh Blaine…Are you ok?"

"No, no of course you're not a burden, don't be ridiculous." _Excuse me! Of course you're a burden! So big that I can't breathe._

"I, uhmm, yeah I think I can do it."

"Ok, I'll let you know when I'm there." _When I'm there! _Perfect! Sebastian squeezed his fist so hard that he didn't even notice there were red marks on his hand.

"Seb?" Kurt asked in a nervous tone. Sebastian didn't look at him, just stood from the bed and paused the move.

"Ok, go." He said to Kurt without meeting his gaze.

"Sebastian?" Kurt asked pleadingly. "Look at me please." Sebastian slightly lifted his head from his feet and looked at the sight of Kurt without actually looking at him.

"Kurt, just go, ok? You don't have to feel guilty or something." Kurt also got out of the bed upon this and walked closer to Sebastian.

"Can I, uhmm, can I come back when I'm…done with talking with Blaine. I promise I re-"

"Don't! I don't want you to promise me anything when you even can't keep the one you made just moments ago." Sebastian, finally, snapped.

"Seb, I told you. Blaine is going through something bad and he needs me to be there for him. What do you expect for me to do? He's my friend and I care about him. Please don't be like this." Kurt told Sebastian in a serious tone.

"Don't be like how, Kurt? I really don't know how I'm being."

"Selfish." Kurt muttered silently and that was when Sebastian saw red.

"Selfish? I'm being selfish, huh? Are you fucking crazy? You stood me up three times just this week to be with him. Even when I'm sitting right across you, you can't just stop texting him or answering your phone to listen his oh so crucial problems. You care about him? Yeah, I know, you made it quite clear. I just thought that maybe you, ughhh! I don't even know what I thought or why I bothered at all." Sebastian shouted at him, not aware of how much he increased his voice. He leant back against the wall to take a deep breath.

"Seb, I'm so-"

"No, no! Don't! I don't want your pity or guilt-ridden apology." Sebastian interrupted him and then laughed somewhat darkly.

"You know what? You're right. I'm really selfish. I can't care less about whatever the hell his problem is. I can't even stand thinking about you near him. It's killing me actually. And I have no right to be upset about this let alone stop you from seeing him. I hate this. I fucking hate loving you when I feel like this. I just want to stop, you know. I just want to stop loving you because I've become someone who isn't me and I just can't…" Sebastian had to stop for a while to breathe because he was literally losing it.

When he trailed off, Kurt closed the distance between them and took Sebastian's hand. But Sebastian pulled it back immediately and wore a mask that was out aside long ago.

"Leave." He demanded without looking at Kurt. Kurt tried to take his hand again, but this time Sebastian shoved his chest slightly to make him step back. Kurt looked at him angrily and shoved his chest as a response.

"No." Kurt said firmly. Sebastian looked at him and laughed manically.

"No? No? Will you just leave and go, console your dear Blaine! Maybe if you kiss away his worries, everything will be just fine." Sebastian teased Kurt who was looking at him disbelievingly.

"What the fuck are you talking about?" Kurt growled at him shoving his chest again to catch his attention. Sebastian just pushed him back and showed the door with his hand.

"Sebastian!" Kurt shouted at him, squeezing his arm to make him hold his gaze. Sebastian pulled Kurt's hand from his arm and tried to push him back but Kurt moved before him and pushed him against the wall with his whole body. And with that, they both stilled their movements. Sebastian finally met Kurt's gaze and for the first time in two weeks they could share one of those their moments. Sebastian noticed Kurt's eyes glistened with unshed tears and he felt a lump in his throat immediately. He hated that he was the one who put that hurt look in his eyes.

After getting lost in each other's gaze, Kurt placed his forehead against Sebastian's. Sebastian felt like he just got out of a roller coaster. All those emotional outbursts made it really hard to think straight. He felt Kurt's one hand caressing his cheek, while the other clinging to his waist. Sebastian had some ideas as to what their next would be, but he couldn't just let that happen, could he?

When Kurt leaned closer to press his lips against Sebastian's, he pulled his head back weakly. But Kurt didn't let him go any further. Bringing his hand to his neck, he pulled him closer and his lips touched Sebastian's almost desperately.

"Kurt, no…"Sebastian whispered, trying to break away from the heavenly taste of Kurt's lips. But Kurt silenced him by pressing his lips harder this time.

"Please." He whined pulling away for a while to look into Sebastian's eyes.

"I want to. Please Seb." He pleaded in a low voice. And who was Sebastian to reject him at this point, right? This time he was the one to clash their lips or mouths or maybe teeth together. Kurt grabbed his face immediately and deepened the kiss. They enjoyed the pressure of their lips against each other until Kurt's tongue messaged the roof of Sebastian's mouth and made him whimper. Sebastian wasted no time to suck that delicious tongue as hard as possible. His hands clanged to Kurt's waist, pulling him closer with every passing second.

They were still struggling for dominance and moaning into each other's mouth when Kurt grabbed Sebastian by his waist and led them to the bed. This time Kurt let Sebastian fall down and landed on top of him. Kurt's hand were going wild instantly and Sebastian could do nothing but follow the suit, running them down his back making Kurt arch towards him. When he rolled his hips slowly and thrusted against Sebastian's still hardening erection,they both let out some sinful groans. Sebastian's hands fingers dug into Kurt's back and made them flush against one another. Kurt slowly swiped his tongue to Sebastian's chin, sucking and teasing all the way to his earlobe to his neck while still rolling his hips and rubbing his full erection against Sebastian's all the time.

"_God, Kurt…" _Sebastian whispered trying to catch Kurt's pace.

"_Sebastian…" _Kurt panted. "_Please…" _Sebastian didn't know for what Kurt was pleading, but he didn't seem to care as he was fastening his pace.

"_Please, don't stop." _Oh, that was what he wanted then. Did Sebastian look like he was going to stop any time soon?

"_Don't." _Kurt was still mumbling those words, but when Sebastian heard him saying _"Don't stop loving me." _He stilled the movements of his hands and flipped them over. He wrapped his hands around Kurt's waist to still his movements too. But Kurt was still putting open mouth kisses all over Sebastian's neck and mumbling _"Please" _and _"don't stop" _again and again. As much as it was killing Sebastian not to have Kurt right there when his lips were looking deliciously red, swollen and oh so kissable, his hair running wildly everywhere, he tilted Kurt's chin with his hand and whispered against his face.

"Look at me." And Kurt looked at him, eyes still dark and wide. Sebastian tried to savour every second of that moment for a while.

"I love you, ok? So much that I can't stop even if I really want to." Kurt seemed to realize what he was saying all that time as his mouth made some "oh" sounds upon this.

They were still achingly hard at that moment, but neither of them bothered to care about it. Sebastian got off of Kurt and laid right beside him.

"Falling in love with you was the easy part, you know." he uttered calmly.

"But dealing with it ..is hard. I do things that I never do, feel things that I thought I lacked. But that's what happens when you're in love, I guess? Well, I'm still learning." He turned to his left side to face Kurt who mirrored his movements instantly. Sebastian just looked into his eyes and listened to their soft breaths regulate.

"I'm sorry for the way I snapped at you." He apologized silently. Kurt put his hand on his cheek and Sebastian closed his eyes contently.

"Don't apologize. You have every right to be mad at me."

"But I don't really, do I? I mean who I am to have a say about with whom you choose to spend your time. Friends don't do that." Sebastian explained honestly.

"And the thing is I was pissed at Blaine so much when he told me he couldn't live his life when you were there spending your time with other people. I thought he was selfish and insecure. But look at me now. I'm doing the same thing, right? I'm anything but insecure, believe me. But when it comes to you, I just lose it. Even a simple texting with Blaine makes my blood boiling and this time I took out it on you when I had no right. I'm just like him and I hate myself for it."

Kurt listened to Sebastian intently while caressing his cheek softly all the time.

"First of all, Seb, don't even compare this with what happened with Blaine, ok? They are different on so many levels. Blaine…he shouldn't have had any doubts about me in the first place. I never gave him any reason not to trust me. He knew I did love him and that should have been enough. It was enough for me at least."

"So, it's ok for me to be jealous because I know that you don't love me back?" Sebastian asked sincerely. Kurt's eyes softened before he answered.

"I, uhmm…It is ok for you to feel like that because we aren't in a relationship and we don't have any claims on each other. But that's not just that. Blaine directed his anger towards me. He let his jealousy tear us apart and cause me to lose some important things including our relationship. But it's different with you. You're always mad at the other person; Blaine or the person whose name doesn't matter" they shared a quick smile before Kurt went on. "or the guys who wanted to dance with me at _Summerboy. _This is more possessiveness than jealousy and there is nothing wrong with that. It's kind of hot, if I have to be honest." Kurt explained in a soft and sincere tone. And how amazing to see Kurt blush so adorably!

"You're perfect." Sebastian whispered. Kurt smiled softly and took his hand in his.

"I really am not." He muttered smiling.

"No, to me, you really are. You are everything." Kurt closed his eyes for a while with a pleased and maybe happy smile on his face and Sebastian tried to regulate his heart beats.

"You know, when you said you wanted to stop loving me, I was so scared."

"You were?"

"Yeah." Kurt looked into Sebastian's eyes with so much emotion that Sebastian's heart just swelled.

"I love the way you love me." Kurt said moving closer to Sebastian.

"But more than that, I can see myself falling for you and I want you to be there when I do."

Saying Sebastian's heart was racing would be an understatement. He was sure Kurt could feel his heart beats. He pulled Kurt closer to himself and brought his head on his chest. The way their legs tangled or their hands linked over Sebastian's stomach was perfect.

"Will you, uhmm go talk to him?" he couldn't help asking.

"No." Kurt said instantly. "He can wait, I guess. There's nowhere else I'd rather be right now."

"Good." Sebastian muttered kissing the top of Kurt's head and smiling broadly. Kurt hummed in agreement.

"By the way, I know it was you that changed my ring tone."

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxx**

I knew it would hurt no matter what. We both knew it would break our heart when we had to say goodbye to each other. Neither of us could guess it would be Blaine to say that first. I did more than my best to be there for Blaine from the moment he told me about his parents' divorce and the possibility of moving with his mum to Cali. I was always aware of the arguments and the fights in the Anderson house but I never thought they would end up breaking it off all of a sudden. But if I had to be honest, I believed they would be better without Mr. Anderson. Blaine would be so much better at least and that was my consolation.

It was hard to say goodbye to the person who was once my first love, best friend, my rock. There were a lot of tears, hugs and "I'm sorry"s uttered by Blaine. I really wished the best everything for Blaine because I knew I would always care about him and maybe even love him in a way.

Sebastian didn't comment about that much. He just said he was sorry that Blaine had to go through all that. But I knew he was also relieved to know that he would be gone from our life. Well, he didn't hide it anyway when he said "Now, I have you all to myself." That was something new for me. The forwardness or maybe I should say the bluntness of Sebastian. I never held back against anyone to say what I thought, but I wasn't used to be the receiving end of that. But it didn't mean that bugged me, instead I really enjoyed Sebastian's non-censored remarks, because I knew he was just being honest and honesty was always respected by me.

Well, I didn't plan to think about Sebastian. Again. When we left for the airport to go back to Lima, I just remembered that morning when I saw Blaine for the last time, but as always, I ended up thinking about Sebastian. We had been in New York for eight days-Sugar Motta's father sponsored for our Nationals trip so we came a week earlier to prepare for the competition on site- and that meant since then I couldn't see Sebastian or even hear his voice properly as Mr. Schue collected everyone's phones to make us focus on the rehearsals. I didn't even need to say that I missed him. I sometimes could miss Sebastian even when we were two hours away from each other.

Since that day when Sebastian finally snapped at me and we ended up making out, again, Sebastian hadn't said those three words to me. I knew he loved me. I could see it whenever he looked at me with so much adoration in his eyes and honestly it took my breath away all the time. I was telling the truth when I confessed that I loved the way Sebastian loved me. He had that ability to make me feel like I was the most special person in his life.

He hadn't kissed me either. Not that I didn't want to. God, why did I always want to kiss Sebastian, I didn't know. But he, politely, rejected my one and only attempt to kiss him by saying "I want every bit of you, Kurt. I'll just wait until then." I knew what he meant with that and couldn't help but admired the way he protected his feelings.

I really wanted to give every bit of myself to Sebastian. I just didn't know what exactly that every bit of me entailed. I liked Sebastian. Of course I liked him. It was impossible not to when he did everything just see me smile and looked at me like I was his world. Or scratch that. It was impossible not to like him when just wore that amazing cologne and made me want to drown in his smell. I once used Christian Dior too. But on Sebastian, it was something else; something so Sebastian and I loved burying my nose on the crook of his neck and inhaling his heavenly smell deeply.

Did I mention his freckles? Because I couldn't tell you how much I wanted to lick every one of them with my tongue. Santana would have said "wanky" if she had heard what I thought, but I just loved how they scattered around his handsome face.

When you thought, Sebastian had pretty amazing eyes too. I loved their color, I loved how they darkened whenever landed on my lips, but mostly I loved the depth of emotions they presented. Now that I am writing an essay on my favorite things about Sebastian, I should say I loved the way he wrapped his arms around my waist possessively whenever someone approached one of us to ask for a dance. He didn't even look at them, just smiled at me innocently and pulled me closer. I loved the feeling of Sebastian's strong arms around my body.

I would never admit to Sebastian, but I also loved his asshole Sebastian moments sometimes. I loved how he didn't give a damn about anyone's opinion but how he was all ears whenever I opened my mouth. I loved to see that immediate frown on his face when he sensed something was wrong with me.

Ok, you noticed that, right? I used a lot of "L" word. Those were all I thought when I didn't censor myself. So what was the big deal? Why couldn't I still be sure about my feelings?

It was because of Blaine. No, no don't go there. I didn't love him in that way for so long, I promise. But the thing was I did love him once and I knew the feeling of falling in love. And what I felt for Sebastian was way different from what I felt for Blaine.

You may suggest, maybe I didn't love Blaine in the first place. But I knew that I loved him. I really didn't want to compare anything that I lived with them, but I couldn't help it when I was feeling that complicated.

Blaine was so sweet from the start. He was the epitome of a nice person and let's face it he was the first and the most attractive gay guy I had known. Of course I was meant to fall for him. He was raised to be a gentleman and his dapperness was what stole my heart in the first place. That and the _Teenage Dream. _Sebastian, on the other hand, was literally an asshole when I first met him. He was impulsive, way too forward and selfish. When I thought about it, he still had bits of those qualities. But…Yes, there was a big but. Sebastian did change for so much better. For me. He still had his moments but I already told you that I loved them. Besides that, he could turn into the most adorable and the cutest person I'd ever known and all I wanted to do at those moments was cup his face and kiss him senseless.

Here it was again; kissing. Right. When I kissed Blaine, I always felt _cared. _He was always so gentle with me. And when I kissed Sebastian, I felt…_needed. _Yes, that would be the right for it. I felt like he would die if I stopped kissing him and let me tell you it was both the most freeing and the most flattering feeling one could ever feel. I didn't choose passion over gentleness here but what Sebastian made me feel was something new and I would be lying if I said I didn't love every second of it.

Things with Blaine were always simple- in the good way, comforting and uhmm planned. We even planned our make-out sessions for god's sake. However everything with Sebastian was spontaneous, so out of blue and in a way, refreshing.

There were times when I questioned if I was boring when I was with Blaine. But with Sebastian, I felt anything but boring when he kept looking at me like I was something out of this world. And yes, that description belonged to him. He always told me that I was unreal. That was something good, I asked him.

We learned everything together with Blaine. Flirting, kissing, making out, sex…You know everything you could share with your significant other. We were both inexperienced and somewhat scared teenage boys who loved each other without having any idea how to do so. But in the end we did it. We loved each other. We cherished our moments together. We learned how to be in a relationship. And we broke each other's hearts. Well, Blaine broke mine. But I regretted nothing. What we had was nice and contributed to who we were today.

And when I thought about it, without Blaine, I didn't get to meet Sebastian either. It was like my choices, my first love, even my heartbreaks led me to Sebastian and when I was with him, I felt like it was worth it. He made it worth it. Yes he hurt me too. But he never hid behind a lame I'm sorry. He always knew how to make things up to me.

So you may ask me what the hell my problem was. I literally had no idea. I just didn't want to label my feelings when I wasn't sure. Don't think that I lacked self-confidence or something. Believe me I had tons of that. I was just being cautious. Because now I knew how heartbreak felt. I knew how much it hurt when the person you loved disappointed you. So I chose not to jump into things this time. Both for me and Sebastian. But if you asked me if Sebastian would worth it, I could tell you without blinking he would worth everything.

Our plane would be landing half an hour later and I was dying to see if Sebastian could make it to the airport on time. I hated not knowing things. Waiting was the most terrible part of life. Was it weird I wasn't thinking about my dad even though I hadn't seen him for almost two weeks? Weird or not, I missed Sebastian like hell. I didn't miss anybody else like that in my life. Time really had a great way of showing what really mattered.

Rachel was still sleeping next to me. Her earplugs had fallen down on her lap. I took them and put on my ears to listen some Broadway tunes. I was so surprise to find a Pink song on Rachel's ipod that at first I didn't focus on the lyrics. But then I heard that part;

"At the same time I wanna hug you

I wanna wrap my hands around your neck

You are an asshole but I love you…"

I smiled involuntarily because could that song be a sign or something? I laughed at myself silently. I knew I didn't need to ask for signs. I'd already known what was in front of me. And yes now I was a little scared but didn't I always believe what you got when you loved someone was always greater than what you risked? And that someone was Sebastian, so…

My heart was racing when I finally got off the plane. I searched around myself to see a certain, tall brunette. _Pleasebehere, Pleasebehere…_A couple of steps later, I saw him. Of course he was there. He was always there. I did my best not to just run towards him and nuzzle into his warm body. God! How was it possible to miss someone like that? I tried to catch my breath when I saw Sebastian's beautiful eyes lit up the moment they landed on me. And that moment I had my belated epiphany. ıt wasn't important who you loved; it was how you loved them. I once told Sebastian that I loved Blaine without even knowing him and he asked me_ "Maybe this time you get to know them before you love them?"_. Now I understood I just did that.

I told Finn to take my luggage and passed the security gate with quick steps. Sebastian met me in the half way and I threw my arms around him instantly. Sebastian just did the same, clinging to my body like his life depended on it.

"I missed you." He whispered while kissing the top of my head. "God, I missed you so much."

After calming my nerves with the help of Sebastian's smell, I pulled myself back slightly. I looked at him in the eye and told those three words that meant world to us.

"I love you."

Sebastian froze. He literally froze and I was scared to death when he didn't response anything I said. After a while he shook his head and grabbed my wrist to lead us to a more secluded spot of the airport. He pressed me against the wall behind a coffee shop gently and took my both hands in his.

"Say it again." He demanded softly. I was sure the beats of our hearts could race with each other.

"I love you." I said to him without missing my eyes. "I'm sorry it took me that long. But I love you Seb. I love you so much."

I never saw Sebastian crying. He wasn't crying now either. But I could swear there was wetness in his eyes.

"Come here." He whispered. And I did what he said to me. He kissed my lips and I was on the top of the world. He never kissed me like that. I could melt into the floor if it wasn't for Sebastian's hands wrapped around my waist. There was no tongue, no pressure. He just kissed me softy with his everything. There was love, happiness, excitement, adoration, desperation and "finally" in that kiss. There was everything I needed. Sebastian was everything I needed.

When he broke away from the kiss, he smiled at me and said;

"I love you more."

He didn't ask me to be his boyfriend. We didn't talk about dating. We just shared the most special three words that two person could say to each other and we didn't need more.

Sebastian knew I was his at that moment and I was proud to say that he was mine.

**A/N: Thank you for the attention. I had so much fun while posting this before. I have you to thank for. Love you all. Hugs and Kisses.**


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